Alice in Wonderland
no matter how hard I pinch
myself.
The Dormouse pulls a long sharp hat pin/sword from her
scabbord.
THE DORMOUSE
I could stick you if it would help.
ALICE It might actually. Thank you.
THE DORMOUSE
My pleasure.
Mab stabs her in the ankle with relish.
ALICE Ow! Stick not stab!
(looking around)
And I’m still dreaming.
Without warning, a huge BEARLIKE CREATURE smashes through the
garden walls.
TWEEDLEDEE Bandersnatch!
They scatter. The BANDERSNATCH is an enormous creature with
the body of a bear and the head of a rabid bulldog. Drool
oozes from his squashed muzzle. His fur is caked with blood
and filth. His teeth are sharklike and broken, stained with
blood. A foul stench emanates from him.
As the animals flee from the Bandersnatch, they’re intercepted
by RED KNIGHTS wearing the RED QUEEN’S CREST: a heart in
flames. The Knights are led by the ILOSOVIC STAYN, the grim
KNAVE OF HEARTS. Stayn has a flaming red birth mark which
covers half of his face, his neck and his enormous hands. He
rides a huge RED PANTHER with yellow eyes and fur the color of
blood. The Knights ensnare the fleeing animals and toss them
into caged wagons.
The Platypus picks up the Oraculum, struggling to carry the
ungainly rolls with his underdeveloped wings. As he waddles
away, he’s snatched up by a Knight. The Oraculum falls to the
ground as he is thrown into a wagon. Ilosovic Stayn sees the
parchment roll on the ground. He picks it up curiously, looks
through, and sees something that alarms him. He tucks it into
his saddlebag, leaps astride his panther and rides of f.
EXT. THE GARDEN PATH – CONT.
Running down the path, Alice trips over her skirt. She ties it
up and keeps running. She looks back to see the Bandersnatch
thundering after her. Suddenly, she stops.
ALICE Wait. This is a dream.
She turns around to face the Bandersnatch. It comes closer.
She doesn’t move. The Dormouse watches from nearby.
THE DORMOUSE
What is she doing?
(to Alice)
Run!
ALICE This is a dream. It can’t hurt me.
The Bandersnatch towers over her. It leans its smashed muzzle
down. She recoils from its hot fetid breath. Trembling, heart
pounding, she holds her ground.
ALICE (cont.) Can’t hurt me.. .can’t hurt me.
The Dormouse leaps onto the Eandersnatch and pulls herself up,
hand-over-hand to its shoulder. The Bandersnatch opens its
mouth to eat Alice. Thick viscous drool drips down on her.
THE DORMOUSE
AHHH! The Dormouse drives her hatpin into its eye. It bellows. The
Dormouse attempt to pull the hatpin out, but the whole eye
pops out. Bandersnatch howls and whips around raking Alice’s
arm with its long claws. She gasps. The pain shocks her into
action. She runs.
EXT. THE CROSSLING – DAY
Alice runs down the path, but it diverges in opposite
directions. A road sign points south to “SNUD” and east to
“QUEAST”. Tweedledum leaps out from the bushes.26
TWEEDLEDUM This way!
He grabs her arm and pulls her down one path.
She cries out from the wound on her arm.
ALICE My arm!
But she’s pulled back the other way.
TWEEDLEDEE No, this way!
They pull her back and forth between them.
TWEEDLEDUM She should go yadder to Queast.
TWEEDLEDEE Contrariwise, she’ll be safer
in Snud.
TWEEDLEDUM Queast!
TWEEDLEDEE Snud!
From the sky, there’s an ear-slitting SCREECH and the enormous
JUBJUB BIRD lands in front of them. The JUBJUB is part monkey-
eating eagle and part ostrich. The Tweedles wave their chubby
arms to distract it from Alice.
TWEEDLEDEE Over here!
TWEEDLEDUN Contrariwise, over here!
The JubJub snatches them both up and takes flight.
EXT. FLYING WITH THE JUBJUB BIRD
WE STAY with the Jubjub bird as it flies over the barren red
earth of Crims with its wriggling prey in its claws. It
approaches Salazen Grum and the castle of the Red Queen on the
shore of the Crimsen sea. Her flag with the Heart in Flames
flies atop the spires. The Jubjub swoops down.
