Alice in Wonderland
She pushes past him and runs out.
INT. THE HALLWAY – CONT.
Lady Long Ears is whispering to the outraged Queen.
RED QUEEN After all I’ve done for her!
They glance up as Alice comes out, followed by Stayn. A
damning sight. Stayn puts the blame on Alice.
KNAVE OF HEARTS She’s not shy, this Uum. I told
her my heart belonged to
another, but she wouldn’t listen.
The Queen goes bright red with rage.
RED QUEEN Of f with her head!
The guards grab Big Alice. It takes four of them to subdue
her.
RED QUEEN (cont.) Wait. Send her first to
Uglification and then to
Derision and after that…
off with her head.
They drag Alice off. The Dormouse watches from the corner.
INT. THE UGLIFICATION ROOM – LATER
A Man and Woman in surgical white study Alice who’s been tied
to a chair. The Man has a PROTRUDING BELLY and the WOMAN has a
very PRONOUNCED NOSE. Several unidentifiable but very sharp
silver instruments sit on tray nearby. Alice is very
frightened.
BIG BELLY MAN What should we do to her?
BIG NOSE WOMAN The first thing is shave of f
her pretty yellow locks. But
what after that?
BIG BELLY MAN Should we cut off her nose?
BIG NOSE WOMAN To spite her face?
BIG BELLY MAN Or poke out those big blue eyes?
BIG BELLY MAN Or slice off those luscious
lips.
As the Woman leans in, her NOSE falls off and lands in Alice’s
lap.
ALICE You dropped something.
The woman feels for her nose which is still there but normal
sized. She gasps, grabs the fake and hurries away with it.
Alice’s eyes narrow suspiciously. As the man turns she can see
straps above his pants which hold the protruding belly in
place. She smiles to herself as the woman comes back with her
long nose reattached.
ALICE (cont.) You can do anything to me, just
not the shrinking. I cannot bear
to be shrunk.
The woman smiles evilly. She whispers to BIG BELLY who reaches
for a vial of liquid.
ALICE (cont.) Is that pishsalver? No please
anything but that!
Alice struggles against her bonds dramatically. They grab her
head and force her mouth open.
BIG BELLY MAN
DRINK! They pour the whole vial down her throat. Alice coughs and
gags. And in a moment, she SHRINKS…down to two feet again.
ALICE (tragically)
Why? Why did you do it?
BIG NOSE WOMAN Take her to Derision.
The Guards take SMALL ALICE of f to another room. After she’s
gone, the woman adjusts her fake nose.
BIG NOSE WOMAN Do you think she noticed?
CUT TO:
INT. THE COURT OF DERISION – LATER
Small Alice stands in the center of a court room. The Queen
and all the Courtiers sit in tiers above her. They all point
and laugh as they ridicule her.
LADY LONG EARS Look at her…the little ugliness.
BIG BELLY MAN She’s a gnome.
LADY THREE CHINS A runt.
MAN WITH HUGE FEET A nothing!
BIG-LIPPED WOMAN Meager and meaningless!
LONG NECK MAN Less than dirt!
LADY LARGE ASS A little knotgrass of
insignificance.
ALICE (to the Queen)
I have something to say!
RED QUEEN Speak then before we silence
you forever.
ALICE Majesty, your courtiers are
playing you for a fool. They
only pretend to be as they are.
Tug on your Lady’s ear. Give
it a tug.
Lady Long Ear smiles nervously. The Queen reaches over and
playfully tugs on her ear. It comes off in her hand. Long Ears
screams. Shocked, the Queen holds the long dangling ear up.
RED QUEEN What is this?
LADY LONG EARS I’m not the only one, Majesty.
Her chins are not real.
She grabs Lady Triple Chins chins and pulls. They come off
like Halloween wax chins revealing the woman’s real chin
