Alice in Wonderland
MAD HATTER How fares the Red Queen? Or is it
White? Who ia sittingon the
throne these days?
KNAVE OF HEARTS We’re looking for the girl
called Alice.
The Bloodhound sniffs the ground around the table. The
Dormouse pretends to sleep but keeps one eye on him.
MARCH HARE Speaking of the Queen, here’s a
song I sang at her concert:
Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat!
How I wonder where your at!
Alice looks out the spout as Stayn grab him around the throat,
choking off the song.
KNAVE OF HEARTS The Alice! Have you seen her?
MAD HATTER Before we answer that, you’ll have
to answer a riddle.
MARCH HARE Why is a raven like a writing desk?
MAD HATTER That’s a good one. Answer that
if you can.
Red Knight Number Two cracks him with the end of his weapon,
knocking him of f the chair.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Have you seen her?
The Hatter climbs back up.
MAD HATTER Have you guessed the riddle?
Number Two cracks him again. To keep his anger in check, the
Hatter laughs crazily. The March Hare joins him.
RED KNIGHT #2 (to Dormouse)
You there. Wake upl
He pours a cup of hot tea onto her head. She gasps and
sputters.
THE DORMOUSE
Thank you. That’s just what I
needed.
She yawns and falls back to sleep. Stayn is getting
frustrated.
KNAVE OF HEARTS If you are hiding an enemy of the
Queen, you’ll lose your heads.
MARCH HARE Already lost them. Sing together
now 1
HARE/HATTER/DORMOUSE Up Above the World you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky
The Knight hits the Hatter again. Stayn chokes the Hare.
Knight Number Three forces Dormouse’s head into a full
cup of
tea then brings her up, gasping and dripping.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Where is the 9irl Alice?
They keep singing despite being
hit, choked and dunked.
HARE/HATTER/DORMOUSE Twinkle, Twinkle, Twinkle…!
The Bloodhound rears up and and plants its paws on the table,
sniffing the teacups…getting closer to Alice’s teapot.
INT. THE TEAPOT – ALICE’SPOV
Alice can see his big nose sniffing at the spout.
EXT. THE TEA PARTY
The Hatter watches the Bloodhound nervously. He whispers.
MAD HATTER Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid.
The Bloodhound stops, surprised to hear Outlandish. The Hatter
shoots a sharp glance at the teapot. The Bloodhound
understands. He drops to the ground, pretends to catch a new
trail. He BAYS.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Follow him.
The Knights release the Hare and Dormouse to follow the
Bloodhound. Stayn lingers, still suspicious.
KNAVE OF HEARTS (cont.) You’re all mad.
He strides off into the woods. The Hatter lifts the teapot
lid.
MAD HATTER You’re safe now. The Bloodhound
will lead them away.
He helps Alice out of the teapot. She can see he’s bleeding.
The Dormouse spits water, half-drowned. The March Hare coughs
and rubs his neck. Alice feels oddly responsible.
ALICE I wish I could help you. But
I’m not who you think I am.
The Hatter lifts Tiny Alice in his palm.
MAD HATTER You’ll speak to Absolem. He’ll
know who you are.
ALICE But can he tell me how to get home?
MARCH HARE He’s wise. He’s absolute. He’s
Absolem.
Hatter puts her down on the table.
ALICE Do you have any of that cake
that made me grow before?
THE DORMOUSE
Do you mean.. upelkuchen?
Do we have any, Thackery?
The March Hare looks under the table, shakes his head.
THE DORMOUSE
Sorry, no upelkuchen.
The Hatter sweeps his top hat of f and puts it on the table.
MAD HATTER Your carriage, mademoiselle.
