Alice in Wonderland
WHITE RABBIT Sir Nivens McTwisp, Esquire,
Junior, the fifty-seventh.
ALICE Sir McTwisp…you are the most
well-spoken, best-dressed
rabbit I’ve ever encountered.
WHITE RABBIT Well, naturally.
ALICE I am confident you’ll find
a way. We’ll go to the Hatter
as soon as I return.
She hurries off.
INT. THE PARLOR- THE QUEEN
The Queen has gone to the window, lost in the stormy sea of
sibling rivalry.
RED QUEEN My little lily white limp
dish rag of a sister…why do
they still follow her?
Stayn comes up behind her, but he doesn’t touch her.
KNAVE OF HEARTS I cannot fathom it. You are
KNAVE OF HEARTS (CONT.) clearly superior as a Queen and
a woman.
RED QUEEN I know. But she has a nasty
little talent that I lack.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Which is…?
RED QUEEN She can make anyone fall in love
with her. Even my dear husband
fell under her spell.
Her dark, bitter gaze travels down to the grim moat below.
RED QUEEN (cont.) I had to do it. He would have
left me.
KNAVE OF HEARTS I know. The humiliation.
RED QUEEN I have never understood what they
all see in her, being as ugly as she
is. I think it is because she’s always
agreeable. That’s not so difficult.
Anyone can do it. I can be agreeable.
He almost laughs.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Of course you can, Majesty.
RED QUEEN Iat themlove her! Why do I need
their loyalty when I have you?
She reaches back, clutching for his hand. He lets her grope
for a moment before he allows her to find it. She leans her
large head back…her eyes dewy and cowlike.
RED QUEEN (cont.) I do have you, don’t I, Stayn?
He smiles but does not answer.
EXT. THE GREAT LAWN – NEAR THE BUSHES
Big Alice searches in the bushes for the Hat. She passes the
hedgehog she freed. He’s cleaning the caked dirt of f his fur.
ALICE Ah!
The hedgehog pauses in his ministrations to watch as Alice
picks the Hat up…normal size to her now. She wipes the mud off
and straightens it out with loving care.
INT. THE DUNGEON – DAY
Prisoners moan in the shadows. Others sob. Some howl
piteously. Water drips from somewhere. The Dungeon Keeper, a
PROBOSCIS MONKEY, is slovenly and passed out from too much
wine. The White Rabbit approaches, clears his throat
officiously.
WHITE RABBIT The Queen has requested a complete
inventory of all the prisoners.
DUNGEON KEEPER A what?
WHITE RABBIT List. Names, how long they’ve been
imprisoned, what they’ve been
charged with.
DUNGEON KEEPER There’s no telling. Some of ’em
have been here since before I can
remember. I think there’s a few
dead ones back there.
WHITE RABBIT Then we’ll need the names of the
deceased as well. She’ll also need
day of execution, type of execution,
be it hanging, beheading, poisoning,
slow starvation or foot rot and if
there was any torture…what type?
As they talk, big Alice in cloak and hood crouches low and
passes by in the shadows.
WHITE RABBIT (cont.) You had best get started. The Queen
requires the inventory by tonight.
DUNGEON KEEPER What does she expect of me? I
can’t do it all myself.
WHITE RABBIT And so, I’ve brought my aides
c/a campe to assist you.
The Tweedles step forward withpaper and writing utensils.
TWEEDLEDUM We’ll be writing the names.
Last names first.
TWEEDLEDEE No. First names last.
TWEEDLEDUN This is what I said. First
names last.
TWEEDLEDEE Contrariwise, you said last
names first.
TWEEDLEDUM It’s being the same.
