Alice in Wonderland
The Executioner attempts to take off his hat, but he mumbles.
THE HATTER
I want to keep it on.
EXECUTIONER Suit yourself. As long as I
can get at your neck.
The Hatter places his neck on the beheading stone.
The Tweedles and the White Rabbit look on with pained
expressions.
The Executioner raises his sword. The crowd goes quiet.
The White Rabbit looks away.
WHITE RABBIT I can’t bear to watch.
The Executioner’s sword comes down toward the neck of the
accused. But just as it’s about to make contact, the accused’s
body disappears. The crowd gasps. Sword hits the stone,
jarring the executioner who stares at the hovering head.
Everyone stares in disbelief.
TWEEDLEDEE It’s gone.
The Rabbit still hasn’t looked.
WHITE RABBIT He was such a fine fellow.
TWEEDLEDUM Look!
The Rabbit looks to see the floating head with no body
attached.
EXECUTIONER I can’t behead nobody if there’s
no body!
The Chesire Cat’s disembodied head floats upright and hovers
above the atonished crowd. He grins.
THE DORMOUSE
Chessur, you dog!
He winks at her. The Hatter (sans Hat) leaps up on to a
balustrade and shouts to the crowd.
MAD HATTER To the abused and enslaved of
the Red Queen’s court, stand
and fight with us! Downa] wyth
Bluddy Behy Hid!
The Platypus holds a tray of tarts on his bound beak. He
tosses them away and pulls the rope off.
THE PLATYPUS
EGGSACUTALLY! Other billed animals do the same. Footfrogs and the Fish
Butlers, Cat Maids and Human Floor Sweepers take up the
slogan.
VARIOUS SERVANT/SLAVES Downa] wyth B]uddy Behy Hid!
ON THE QUEEN AND STAYN
RED QUEEN What are they saying about me?
KNAVE OF HEARTS I think it’s to do with the size
of your head.
The Queen’s face goes crimson with rage.
RED QUEEN Loose the Jub-jub Bird!
INT. THE COURTYARD
The Rabbit approaches the Chesire Cat, the Hatter and the
Dormouse with the Tweedles.
WHITE PABBIT Well done, Chessur. Well done!
MAD HATTER Congratulations. You’ve just
commited your first noble act.
CHESIRE CAT It was just this one time.
And I got to wear the Hat.
The Hatter holds out his hand. Chessur reluctantly gives up
the Hat. There’s a bloodcurdling SCREECH overhead as the
JubJub Bird swoops down on the onlookers below. He strafes the
screaming crowd indiscriminatly. Snatching fleeing onlookers
in his beak, he flies up, then opens his mouth to let them
fall to the ground. He rakes others with his razor sharp
claws. He stabs and bites and tears.
The Queen watches the blood-letting with a vengeful smile.
Stayn stands at her side.
RED QUEEN You’re right, Stayn. It is far
better to be feared than loved.
Prepare the Jabberwocky for
battle. We’re going to visit my
little sister.
ON THE HATTER ET AL. The Hatter, the Dormouse, the White Rabbit, the Tweedles and
the Platypus gather to escape.
MAD HATTER Wait for me at the drawbridge.
There’s something I want to do.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THE WHITE QUEEN’S CASTLE – LATE AFTERNOON
She stands on the parapet searching the horizen. Alice, the
Dodo and the Bloodhound stand nearby. All is silence.
WHITE QUEEN I would have thought I’d have
a champion by now.
BLOODHOUND Look there!
The Dodo lifts his spyglass.
THE HORIZON – HIS POV
The group of escapees approach.
DODO It’s the Hatter!
Alce grabs the spyglass and looks.
ON THE GROUP – HER POV The Hatter, the Dormouse, the White Rabbit and the Platypus
approach, plus…
THE PARAPET
Alice hands the spyglass to the Bloodhound.
ALICE Bayard, have a look.
