Alice in Wonderland
beneath.
BULBOUS NOSE MAN Counterfeit chins. You should be
ashamed of yourself.
LADY THREE CHINS Me? What about that nose youre
so proud of?
THREE CHINS grabs his BULBOUS nose off and tosses it into the
crowd. The room goes wild. The Queen glares as her courtiers
pull off each other’s fake body parts.
RED QUEEN Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers!
In the chaos, Alice slips out passing the White Rabbit.
ALICE Nivens, have you seen Mallymkun?
He stares at the room of courtiers gone mad.
WHITE RABBIT In the dungeon with the Hatter.
INT. THE DUNGEON – A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Alice races through the dungeon, slipping past the weary
Keeper who’s still working on the list with the Tweedles.
TWEEDLEDtJN
That’s Prisoner Number Two
done. Prisoner Number Four.
TWEEDLEDEE You missed Number Three.
TWEEDLEDUTVI We did him before.
TWEEDLEDEE Ain’t so.
TWEEDLEDEE Is so.
The Keeper groans. Alice runs to the Hatter’s cell.
INT. DUNGEON – HATTER’S CELL
Mallymkun stands on a pile of boxes, picking the lock on his
cell. The Hatter sees Alice approaching. There’s a click. He
steps out eagerly.
MAD HATTER Do you have the Sword?
ALICE You didn’t tell me it’s
guarded by the Eandersnatch!
Without a second thought, he steps back into his cell and
closes the door. Click. The Dormouse throws up her hands.
ALICE (cont.) (to the Dormouse)
I need the eye.
THE DORMOUSE
No! It’s my good luck charm.
ALICE We don’t have much time.
Alice tries to take it. The Dormouse swats her hand away.
THE DORMOUSE
It’s mine!
AL I CE I need that eye!
THE DORMOUSE
Then come and get it.
She draws her hatpin sword.
THE DORMOUSE (cont.)
Wait, you take this.
She gives Alice the hatpin.
THE DORMOUSE (cant.)
I’ll take…
She takes a steel torture poker from the wall.
THE DORMOUSE (cant.)
This.
She assumes the stance. Alice is smaller than her with a much
smaller weapon.
ALICE Well, it’s hardly fair.
THE DORMOUSE
Do you want the eye or don’t
you?
Alice clumsily goes at her with the hatpin/sword. Mally’s
quite adept at swardplay. The Hatter coaches Alice in
Outlandish.
MAD HATTER Alice.
. orgal!
ALICE What?
MAD HATTER Orga]!
ALICE I don’t know what that means!
She gets knocked sideways by Mally’s weapon.
MAD HATTER Watch your left.
Mally comes at her again.
MAD HATTER (cant.) Noge! Noge I
He indicates ducking. Alice ducks. Mally’s weapon barely
misses her head. The Hatter continues to coach her and she
gradually picks up the words and the associated actions. Now
the Dormouse fights in earnest, thrusting and parrying with
relish.
MAD HATTER (cont.) (left…right)
OrgaL.again! Now 5tang.
(slowly, not now)
Slothish…nunz.
(behind you)
Zounder!
Alice cuts the thin rope at Mally’s waist which holds the
leather bag with the eye. The bag drops. Alice catches it…and
runs. It’s now the size of a basketball to her. The Dormouse
doesn’t give chase. The Hatter nods.
MAD HATTER (cont.) Well done.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BANDERSNATCH STABLE
Suffering from the use of her wounded arm, Alice opens the
