Alice in Wonderland
should have taken of f her head
when I had the chance. Find her1
Stayn. Find her!
KNAVE OF HEARTS Calm yourself, Majesty. We’ll
find Alice. I will personally bring
her head and lay it at your feet.
RED QUEEN No. Bring the whole girl. I want
to do it myself.
He kisses her hand. She sighs. Stayn goes out, glancing at the
Footfrogs who keep their eyes trained safely ahead.
EXT. THE TULGEY WOOD – DAY – CONT.
Alice is still running. She stumbles and falls, looking back
fearfully.
CHESHIRE CAT (0.5.) There’s nothing after you, if
that’s what you’re worried about.
The voice is coming from the disembodied head of a GRINNING
CAT which hovers above a tree limb. Alice stares, unsure of
her eyes.
ALICE I must be going mad.
CHESHIRE CAT Then you should feel right
at home. We’re all mad here.
She winces suddenly from pain. There are deep gashes in her
arm.
ALICE I thought I was dreaming, but
this couldn’t happen in a dream.
CHESIRE CAT It looks like you ran afoul of
something with wicked claws.
ALICE The benner or banner…
CHES IRE CAT Bandersnatch? You’re lucky to
be alive. I’d better have a look
at that.
The Cat’s head disappears, then he reappears next to her as a
whole cat. CHESStJR is a dapper TABBY, in ascot, waistcoat, and
spats. Always calm and casual, there’s a catlike sensuality
about him. The grin is seductive. He inspects the wound.
CHESIRE CAT (cont.) The slightest scratch made by the
frumious Bandersnatch will fester
and putrify unless it’s purified
CHESIRE CAT (cont.) by someone with evaporating skills,
like myself.
He lifts her arm and tries to lick the wound. She pulls back.
ALICE What are you doing?
CHESIRE CAT It needs cleaning out.
ALICE I’d rather you didn’t.
CHES IRE CAT At least, let me bind it for you.
She allows him to use his handkerchief to bind the wound.
ALICE I’ve never seen a cat smile
before.
CHESIRE CAT I sleep all day and carouse all
night. Why would I not be smiling?
(a beat)
What do you call yourself?
ALICE Alice.
CHESIRE CAT The Alice?
ALICE There’s been some debate about
that.
His attitude shifts. He ties the binding tight then steps
back.
CHESHIRE CAT You’d best be on your way. I make
it a rule never to get involved in
politics.
ALICE Can you at least show me the
way out of this place?
CHESHIRE CAT If you are The Alice the only
way out is to slay the Jabber-
wocky. That’s all I’m going to
say about it. But you should talk
to the Hare and Hatter. They’re
the ones to help you. Be off now.
ALICE Where to? I don’t know the way.
CHESIRE CAT Fine. I’ll take you there. But
that’s the end of it.
He disappears suddenly. She looks around. He reappears in the
woods ahead.
CHESIRE CAT (cont.) Come on then.
She hurries to catch up with him.
EXT. THE GARDEN – DAY – LATER
Stayn sits astride his Red Panther as the Knights hold a
growling BLOODHOUND bound by a spiked collar and heavy ropes.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Find the scent of human girl.
The Bloodhound has an exotic accent.
BLOODHOUND Find it yourself, ye urpal slackum
scrum.
The Knights jerk the ropes, driving the spikes into his neck.
He growls and snaps.
KNAVE OF HEARTS Help us find the girl and you will
earn your freedom.
The Bloodhound considers the offer.
BLOODHOUND For my wife and pups as well?
KNAVE OF HEARTS Everyone goes home.
