Alice in Wonderland
RED QUEEN I’m not a patient monarchl
WHITE RABBIT It must have rolled into the
bushes I
He pretends to look in the bushes, beckoning Alice.
IN THE BUSHES He looks down at Tiny Alice.
WHITE RABBIT Why are you the size of a
gerbil?
ALICE Why are you working for the
Red Queen?
WHITE RABBIT I most certainly am not.
ALICE (accusing)
Then why did you leave in such
a convenient hurry just before
the Bandersnatch arrived. You
knew what was coming.
WHITE RABBIT I never did.
ALICE You did!
WHITE RABBIT My! Haven’t we become the
the suspicious one?
ALICE And there’s something else.
She beckons him closer. He bends down to her level. She hits
him. Even at her size, it’s a solid punch which knocks him
down.
ALICE (cont.) That’s for dragging me down
here against my will!
WHITE RABBIT (sulky)
I’m beginning to think you’re
not the right Alice, after all.
Now there’s going to be a bruise.
Is there?
He shows her his chin. She looks, indulging him.
ALICE No.
RED QUEEN
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WHITE RABBIT Still looking, Majestyl
(to Alice)
What are we going to do with
you? Wait, I might have some
upelkuchen left.
He digs in his garments and comes up with some of the cake she
ate to grow larger.
WHITE RABBIT (cont.) Take a nibble.
She shakes her head, suspicious still.
ALICE Not likely.
WHITE RABBIT You must trust me. I’m loyal to
the White Queen.
ALICE (still skeptical)
So you say.
WHITE RABBIT The Red Queen set the Jubjub
Bird on my nieces and nephews…
for sport.
(angrily)
Downa] wyth Bluddy Behg Hid.
Hearing the now-familiar Outlandish, Alice takes the
upelkuchen. She has a nibble.
WHITE RABBIT (cont.) When you meet the Queen…don’t
mention anything about her head.
ALICE I didn’t come to meet the Queen.
I came to rescue the Hatter. Mmm.
I hadn’t realized how hungry I am.
WHITE RABBIT Not all of it!
Too late. She’s downed all the cake. WHOOSH! Alice suddenly
shoots upward, growing at a tremendous pace. Buttons fly off
her torn garments, seams strain and give way.
WHITE RABBIT (cont.) Oh no, stop, don’t do that!
She grows and keeps growing out of the shreds of her remaining
clothes until she bursts through the bushes…stark raving nude.
EXT. THE GREAT LAWN – DAY – CONT.
Alice finds herself looking at the Red Queen and her
courtiers. Fortunately, the tall bushes hide all but her head
and shoulders. Everyone stares at her in stunned silence.
RED QUEEN And WHAT is this?
The White Rabbit emerges, improvizing like mad.
WHITE RABBIT It’s a “who”, Majesty. This is…uh
um…
RED QUEEN Urn?
WHITE RABBIT From Urnbradge.
RED QUEEN Uum from tJmbradge.
ALICE Yes, your Majesty.
RED QUEEN What happened to your garments?
ALICE I outgrew them. I’ve been growing
very fast lately. Now I tower over
everyone in Umbradge. And so I
came here, hoping you will grant
me a place in your court.
RED QUEEN My dear girl. Anyone with a
head that large is welcome here!
The courtiers with their equally out-size body parts laugh.
RED QUEEN (cont.)
SOMEONE FIND HER SOME CLOTHES!
