Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
GONZO That dirty toad bastard! I knew I should have taken him out when I had the chance. Now he has her.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!
DUKE watches — straight-faced.
DUKE (V/O) I remember the girl. We’d had a problem with her in the elevator a few hours earlier: my attention had made a fool of himself.
INT. ELEVATOR – DAY (FLASHBACK)
An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.
DUKE and GONZO stagger in.
LACERDA drops his smile. He’s standing beside the BLONDE TV REPORTER. A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.
BLONDE TV REPORTER (to Gonzo) You must be a rider. What class are you in?
GONZO Class? What the fuck do you mean?
BLONDE TV REPORTER What do you ride? We’re filming the race for a TV series — maybe we can use you.
GONZO Use me?
DUKE (V/O) Mother of God, I thought. Here it comes.
GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence. 42.
GONZO (suddenly shouting) I ride the BIG ONES! The really BIG fuckers!
GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA. DUKE laughs trying to defuse the scene.
DUKE The Vincent Black Shadow. We’re with the Factory Team.
TV CAMERAMAN Bullshit.
GONZO stills — becomes dangerous — zeros in on the TV CAMERAMAN — groin to groin…
GONZO Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but I think there’s some kind of ignorant chicken-sucker in this car who needs his face cut open. You cheap honky faggots! Which one of you wants to get cut?!
DEAD SILENCE.
Ding! The elevator door opens, but nobody moves. The door closes.
Next floor. Ding! The door opens again. A middle-aged couple start to get in. Change their minds. The door closes.
INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
DUKE and GONZO run down the corridor. GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.
GONZO Spooked! They were spooked! Like rats in a death cage!
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – DAY
DUKE and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite — BOLT THE DOOR. GONZO stops laughing.
GONZO Goddamn. It’s serious now. That girl understood. She fell in love with me.
END FLASHBACK. 43.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE — sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.
GONZO Let’s go up there and castrate that fucker!
GONZO pauses — A MAD THOUGHT — turns to DUKE.
GONZO (squinting suspiciously) Have you made a deal with him? Did you put him on to her?
DUKE (backing slowly towards the door) Look you better put that blade away and get your head straight. I have to put the car in the lot.
DUKE (V/O) One of the things you learn, after years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it’s waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eyes.
INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL
The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.
MAGAZINE REPORTER Las Vegas at dawn. The racers are still asleep, the dust is still on the desert, fifty thousand dollars in prize money, slumbers darkly in the office safe at Del Webb’s fabulous Mint Hotel…
DUKE walks past the REPORTER — into THE CASINO, THE SAD, MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES. No joy. DUKE watches.
DUKE (V/O) Who are these people? These faces! Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas. (MORE) 44.
DUKE (V/O; CONT’D) And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell of a lot of them at four-thirty on a Monday morning. Still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the last minute predawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.
DUKE stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.
DUKE You bastards!
DUKE (V/O) No. Calm down. Learn to ENJOY losing.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE walks back into the room. We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF THREE DOG NIGHT’S “JOY TO THE WORLD.”
He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM – NIGHT
Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub. Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface. A large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor. The shower is on — the tub overflowing. THE TAPE RECORDER PLAYS, from where it’s plugged into the razor socket over the sink.
DUKE turns off the shower — notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED UP WHITE BLOTTER.
DUKE You ate ALL THIS ACID?
No answer.
DUKE (turning down the volume) You evil son of a bitch. You better hope there’s some Thorazine in that bag, because if there’s not, you’re in bad trouble.
GONZO Music! Turn it up. Put that tape on. 45.
DUKE What tape?
GONZO Jefferson Airplane. “White Rabbit.” I want a rising sound.
DUKE You’re doomed. I’m leaving here in two hours and then they’re going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that tub.
GONZO I dig my own graves. Green water and the White Rabbit. Put it on.
DUKE OK. But do me one last favor, will you. Can you give me two hours? That’s all I ask — just two hours to sleep before tomorrow. I suspect it’s going to be a very difficult day.
He switches on the tape. “WHITE RABBIT” begins to build.
GONZO (coolly) Of course, I’m your attorney, I’ll give you all the time you need, at my normal rates: $45 an hour — but you’ll be wanting a cushion, so, why don’t you just lay one of those $100 bills down there beside the radio, and fuck off?
DUKE How about a check?
GONZO Whatever’s right.
DUKE moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and leaves, closing the door behind him.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE goes across to the sofa and crashes — exhausted. Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.
GONZO (V/O) Help! You bastard! I need help!
46.
DUKE JUMPS up — crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.
DUKE Shit, he’s killing himself!
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
DUKE RUSHES IN. GONZO flails — trying to reach the radio with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its mounts.
GONZO (snarling) I want that fucking radio!
DUKE GRABS THE RADIO.
DUKE Don’t touch it! Get back in that tub!
GONZO Back the tape up. I need it again! Let it roll! Just as high as the fucker can go! And when it comes to that fantastic note where the rabbit bites its own head off, I want you to THROW THAT FUCKING RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!
DUKE stares down at GONZO.
DUKE Not me. It would blast you through the wall — stone dead in ten seconds and they’d make me explain it!
GONZO BULLSHIT! Don’t make me use this.
HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.
DUKE Jesus.
GONZO Do it! I want to get HIGHER!
DUKE considers this. He’s had enough. 47.
DUKE Okay. You’re right. This is probably the only solution. (holds the PLUGGED IN TAPE/RADIO over the tub) Let me make sure I have it all lined up. You want me to throw this thing into the tub when “WHITE RABBIT” peaks. Is that it?
GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.
GONZO Fuck yes. I was beginning to think I was going to have to go out and get one of the goddamn maids to do it.
DUKE Are you ready?
He switches “WHITE RABBIT” back on. GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.
