Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car. 15.
GONZO Good riddance. That boy made me nervous. Did you see his eyes? (laughing) Jesus, this is good medicine.
DUKE glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.
DUKE (suddenly clambering into the front seat) Move over!! We have to get out of California before that kid finds a cop!
DUKE GUNS THE RED SHARK — TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD…
EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS – DAY
THE RED SHARK races — DUKE at the wheel — straight ahead driving.
DUKE (V/O) It was absolutely imperative that we get to the Mint Hotel before the deadline for press registration. Otherwise, we might have to pay for our suite.
GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE. The top comes off and the powder swirls away on the wind.
GONZO Oh, Jesus! Did you see what god just did to us?
DUKE God didn’t do that! You did it! You’re a fucking narcotics agent, that was our cocaine, you pig!
GONZO (waving his .357 Magnum at Duke) You better be careful. Plenty of vultures out here. They’ll pick your bones clean before morning.
DUKE You whore!
GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID. 16.
GONZO Here — chew this. It’s your half of the acid.
DUKE takes his half — chews it.
DUKE How long do I have?
GONZO Maybe thirty more minutes. As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed. It’ll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid.
DUKE (V/O) Thirty minutes. It was going to be very close.
The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard: “DON’T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION – 20 YEARS; SALE – LIFE!!”
EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL – DUSK
The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT. A great banner spanning the street announces the MINT 400.
DUKE can feel the drug surging up inside him. Clutching a buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.
DUKE I need this, right?
ATTENDANT I’ll remember your face.
DUKE stares — losing it…
DUKE (V/O) There is no way of explaining the terror I felt.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
DUKE waits in line at the front desk — RIGID WITH PENT UP ENERGY. GONZO’s ahead of him — muscling in — trying to queue jump and failing. 17.
DUKE (V/O) I was pouring sweat. My blood is too thick for Nevada. I’ve never been able to properly explain myself in this climate.
A COUPLE move off and DUKE jerks forward — stops — eyes fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.
DUKE (V/O CONT’D) Be quiet, be calm… name, rank, and press affiliation, nothing else…
DUKE moves ANOTHER RIGID STEP CLOSER to the desk — the tension almost snapping him in two. GONZO’s FLAPPING AROUND — absolutely no success.
Something catches DUKE’s eye… He REMAINS ROOTED — his eyes turning to the VEGETAL PAISLEY PATTERNS ON THE CARPET WHICH ARE SHIFTING — UNDULATING. THE CARPET PATTERNS ARE INEXORABLY CREEPING UP THE WALLS…
DUKE (V/O CONT’D) …ignore this terrible drug, pretend it’s not happening…
The LAST PEOPLE leave — with A FINAL, STIFF MOVE, DUKE comes face to face with the RESERVATIONS CLERK… AND EXPLODES!
DUKE HI THERE. MY NAME… AH, RAOUL DUKE… ON… ON THAT LIST, THAT’S FOR SURE. FREE LUNCH, FINAL WISDOM, TOTAL COVERAGE… WHY NOT? I HAVE MY ATTORNEY WITH ME, AND I REALIZE OF COURSE…
As DUKE stares at her, BABBLING, her FACE BEGINS TO MORPH. He tries to stop it happening by TALKING FASTER.
DUKE … THAT HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE LIST, BUT WE MUST HAVE THAT SUITE. YES. JUST CHECK THE LIST AND YOU’LL SEE. DON’T WORRY. WHAT’S THE SCORE HERE? WHAT’S NEXT?
DUKE sags — grips the desk — WHITE KNUCKLES. 18.
RESERVATIONS CLERK (hands him an envelope) Your suite’s not ready yet. But there’s somebody looking for you.
Her face is CHANGING — SWELLING — PULSING…
DUKE (shouts) NO! WHY? WE HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING YET!
The FACE OF THE RESERVATIONS CLERK TURNS GREEN & GROWS FANGS. DEADLY POISON! DUKE LUNGES BACK at GONZO, who GRIPS his arm intensely — REACHES OUT to take the ENVELOPE.
GONZO I can handle this. This man has a bad heart, but I have plenty of medicine. My name is Dr. Gonzo. Prepare our suite at once. We’ll be in the bar.
GONZO manoeuvres DUKE away from the desk. DUKE looks back — the RESERVATIONS CLERKS is now a MORAY EEL — green jowls and fangs.
INT. NAUTICAL BAR – DAY
The bar — OILY PEOPLE — quiet music — nautical theme. DUKE and GONZO at the bar, a marlin spike hanging on the wall behind them. DUKE has turned to stone…
GONZO (to the bartender) Two Cuba Libres with beer and mescal on the side. (opens the envelope) Who’s Lacerda, he’s waiting for us in a room on the twelfth floor?
DUKE Lacerda?
DUKE (V/O) I couldn’t remember. The name rang a bell, but I couldn’t concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around us…
DUKE is staring — RAPT — TERRIFIED. BLOOD FLOWS FREELY onto the floor. DUKE keeps his voice low. 19.
DUKE Order some golf shoes. Otherwise, we’ll never get out of this place alive. It’s impossible to walk in this muck — no footing at all…
DUKE looks up — GONZO has disappeared.
DUKE looks around him — the entire room has TRANSFORMED into a ROOM FILLED WITH REPTILES IN CLOTHES, DRINKING AND GNAWING AT ONE ANOTHER.
DUKE (V/O) I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo. And somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things! It won’t be long before they tear us to shreds!
GONZO IS SUDDENLY BACK — AT DUKE’S SHOULDER.
GONZO If you think we’re in trouble now wait until you see what’s happening in the elevators.
GONZO removes his sunshades and we see he’s been crying… as he speaks he seems to be floating. Duke struggles to keep him in his line of vision.
GONZO I just went upstairs to see this man Lacerda. I told him I knew what he was up to… (GONZO rallies — turns fierce) He says he’s a photographer! But when I mentioned Savage Henry he freaked! He knows we’re onto him!
DUKE But what about our room? And the golf shoes?
A GROUP OF REPTILES AT A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM stares at them, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THEIR FANGS.
DUKE (CONT’D) (grabbing GONZO trying to hold him still) Holy shit! Look at that bunch over there! They’ve spotted us! 20.
Cut to wider shot — DUKE is holding on to a man standing
next to him at the bar. The room has returned to normality. GONZO is sitting in his original position.
GONZO (downs his drink — gets up) That’s the press table. Where you have to sign in for our credentials. Shit, let’s get it over with. You handle that, and I’ll check on the room.
DUKE No, no. Don’t leave me!
Black screen.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – DUSK
A TELEVISION shows the NIGHTLY NEWS. A BUDDHIST MONK, protesting the war, sets himself on fire. A very nervous BELL BOY is laying out GONZO’s order. A marlin spike is on the floor next to DUKE.
BELL BOY Four club sandwiches, four shrimp cocktails.
DUKE There’s a big… machine in the sky… some kind of electric snake…
DUKE is curled by the window — MESMERIZED by an unseen neon sign outside the window. His eyes fill with a million colored lights.
BELL BOY … a quart of rum…
DUKE … coming straight at us.
GONZO Shoot it.
DUKE Not yet. I want to study its habits.
BELL BOY … and nine fresh grapefruit. 21.
GONZO Vitamin C. We’ll need all we can get.
GONZO sees the BELL BOY out the door — turns and lays into DUKE.
GONZO Look, you’ve got to stop this talk about snakes and leeches and lizards and that stuff. It’s making me sick!
DUKE stares — hears the drone of B52 BOMBERS…
On TV: The LAOS INVASION — A SERIES OF HORRIFYING DISASTERS — EXPLOSIONS AND TWISTED WRECKAGE.
Newsreel footage of MAI LAI MASSACRE and the LIEUTENANT CALLEY court-martial.
DUKE What are you talking about?
GONZO You bastard! They’ll never let us back in that place. I leave you alone for three minutes and you start waving that goddamn marlin spike around — yelling about reptiles! You scared the shit out of those people! They were ready to call the cops. Hell, the only reason they gave us press passes was to get you out of there…
A knock at the door. DUKE and GONZO break out in a sweat.
DUKE Oh my God! Who’s that?!
GONZO STICKS HIS GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND — opens the door to LACERDA — BOUNCING WITH PUPPY DOG ENTHUSIASM. GONZO stares at a man he instantly hates — watches him with deep suspicion.
LACERDA Duke? I’m Lacerda your photographer. Got your press passes? Good, good. Too bad you missed the bikes checking in. My, what a sight!
