Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
INT. THE BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL POGO LOUNGE 1971 – DAY
A uniformed DWARF, carries a shockingly PINK TELEPHONE through the glittering, tranquil POGO LOUNGE CROWD. They are the ELOI. HENDRIX AFROS and DROOPING MUSTACHES and BELL BOTTOMS and LOVE BEADS and BELLS. ACTRESSES sip Singapore Slings and PROMOTERS sip ACTRESSES in this MONIED, SANITISED VERSION OF THE GREAT REVOLUTION YEARS.
DUKE (V/O) … in the patio section, of course, drinking Singapore Slings with mescal on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord, 1971.
The DWARF reaches DUKE — T-shirt, levis, sneakers and shades. GONZO — white rayon bellbottoms and a khaki tank top undershirt. They are in the middle of a serious conversation. 8.
DUKE I’m telling you, the Salazar story is getting too complicated. The weasels have started closing in.
The DWARF sneers.
DWARF Perhaps this is the call you’ve been waiting for all this time, sir…
DUKE lifts the receiver — listens…
DUKE Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Uh-huh…
DUKE hangs up the PHONE with the DEAD-PAN EXPRESSION OF A MOVIE SPY.
DWARF That was headquarters. They want me to go to Las Vegas at once and make contact with a Portuguese photographer named Lacerda. He’ll have the details. All I have to do is check into my sound proof suite and he’ll seek me out.
GONZO, says nothing for a moment, then POUNDS the table!
GONZO God hell! I think I see the pattern! This one sounds like real trouble! You’re going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney I must advise you that you’ll need a very fast car with no top and after that, the cocaine. And then the tape recorder, for special music, and some Acapulco shirts… (GONZO tucks his khaki undershirt into his white bellbottoms — he means business!) This blows my weekend, because naturally I’ll have to go with you — and we’ll have to arm ourselves. 9.
DUKE Why not? If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
DUKE and GONZO are up and off. The DWARF chases after them with the (very large) check in his hand.
They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.
DUKE I tell you, my man. This is the American Dream in action! We’d be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way to the end.
GONZO Indeed. We must do it. What kind of story is this?
EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL – FRONT ENTRANCE – DAY
DUKE and GONZO emerge.
DUKE The Mint 400! The richest off-road race for motorcycles and dune- buggies in the history of organized sport! (handing parking ticket to Valet) — a fantastic spectacle in honor of some fatback grossero who owns the luxurious Mint Hotel in the heart of downtown Vegas… at least that’s what the press release says.
Their car arrives — rusted out, smashed door panels. They jump in.
DUKE We’re going to have to drum it up on our own. Pure Gonzo Journalism.
And they’re off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose- bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.
EXT. SUNSET BLVD – DAY
The PINTO races through shot.
DUKE (V/O) Getting hold of the drugs and shirts had been no problem… 10.
EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR – DAY
The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back window full of Hawaiian shirts.
DUKE (V/O CONT’D) … but the car and tape recorder were not easy things to round up at 6:30 on a Friday afternoon in Hollywood.
INT. POLYNESIAN BAR – DAY
TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer’s ads ticked off lie in a pile as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE. DUKE carries over four Singapore Slings.
GONZO O.K., O.K., yes. Hang onto it. We’ll be there in thirty minutes. (to DUKE — hand over the PHONE) I finally located a car with adequate horsepower and the proper coloring. (into PHONE) What?! OF COURSE the gentleman has a major credit card! Do you realize who the fuck you’re talking to?
DUKE Don’t take any guff from these swine. (GONZO slams the phone down) Now we need a sound store with the finest equipment. Nothing dinky. One of those new Belgian Heliowatts with a voice-activated shotgun mike, for picking up conversations in oncoming cars.
GONZO We won’t make the nut unless we have unlimited credit.
DUKE We will. You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man’s culture. 11.
EXT. SUNSET BLVD – DUSK
The PINTO races down street.
DUKE (V/O) The store was closed, but the salesman said he would wait, if we hurried…
EXT. SUNSET BLVD – TRAFFIC JAM – DUSK
They’re stuck in a traffic jam — clouds of exhaust. DUKE BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.
DUKE (V/O) But we were delayed en route when a Stingray in front of us killed a pedestrain.
Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE — a covered corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.
EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY – NIGHT
DUKE (V/O) We had trouble, again, at the car rental agency.
Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: DUKE grins with satisfaction — checking it out. A nervous AGENT holds out a clipboard. DUKE signs without looking at the rental papers.
AGENT Say… uh… you fellas are going to be careful with this car, aren’t you?
DUKE Of course.
DUKE throws the car into reverse — roars backwards past the gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.
AGENT Well, good god! You just backed over that two foot concrete abutment and you didn’t even slow down! Forty-five in reverse! And you barely missed the pump!
DUKE No harm done. I always test the transmission that way. The rear end. For stress factors. 12.
GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.
AGENT Say. Are you fellows drinking?
DUKE Not me. We’re responsible people.
He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic. The AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.
GONZO There’s another worrier. He’s probably all cranked up on speed.
EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
STRANGE AND MAGICAL. In the moonlight: the silhouetted figures of DUKE and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.
DUKE (V/O) We spent the rest of that night rounding up materials and packing the car. Then we ate some mescaline and went swimming.
The surf crashes in the distance…
EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN – NIGHT
DUKE cries out as he dives into the ocean. He lets himself float up through the silvery bubbles…
DUKE AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING MOONLIT SURF.
DUKE (V/O) Our trip was different. It was to be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the national character; a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country. But only for those with true grit…
EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS – DAY
DUKE’s intense face.
DUKE …and we’re chock full of that! 13.
GONZO Damn right!
DUKE My attorney understands this concept, despite his racial handicap. But do you?!
The HITCHHIKER nods — giggles — petrified.
DUKE (V/O) He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn’t. He was lying to me.
GONZO My heart!
GONZO clutches his heart. The car veers off the road and screeches to a halt. He slumps over the wheel.
GONZO (CONT’D) Where’s the medicine?
DUKE The medicine? Yes, it’s right here.
DUKE spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.
DUKE Don’t worry, this man has a bad heart… Angina Pectoris. But we have a cure for it.
DUKE and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece — INHALE DEEPLY. GONZO falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun. The HITCHHIKER looks petrified.
GONZO (suddenly flailing his naked arms at the sky) Turn up the fucking music! My heart feels like an alligator! Volume! Clarity! Bass! We must have bass! What’s wrong with us? Are you goddamn old ladies?
DUKE (turns up music to full volume) You scurvy shyster bastard! Watch your language! You’re talking to a Doctor of Journalism! 14.
GONZO (laughing uncontrollably) What the fuck are we doing out here? Somebody call the police! We need help!
DUKE (to HITCHHIKER) Pay no attention to this swine. He can’t handle the medicine. (he begins laughing)
GONZO (to the HITCHHIKER) The truth is we’re going to Vegas to croak a scag baron named Savage Henry. I’ve known him for years but he ripped us off — and you know what that means, right?
GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum — waves it around.
GONZO (CONT’D) Savage Henry has cashed his check! We’re going to rip his lungs out!
DUKE And eat them! That bastard won’t get away with this! What’s going on in this country when a scum sucker like that can get away with sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?
GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.
The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID, AND FLEES.
HITCHHIKER Thanks for the ride. Thanks a lot. I like you guys. Don’t worry about me.
DUKE (yells) Wait a minute! Come back and have a beer!
