Edward Scissorhands
JIM Look. I’ve racked my brain. Don’t you want us to have our own van?
KIM Yeah. Jim, the lights are on.
JIM Those go on automatically. They’ve gone for the weekend. I told you. That’s right.
DENNY This burglar scared.
KIM You turned off the alarm. Am I right?
JIM Yes, everything, come on. Let’s go. Come on.
KIM I can’t believe this is happening.
A GIRL
Are you sure he doesn’t know this is Jim’s house?
KIM He’s never been here.
EDWARD
This person stole from you?
JIM Keep your voice down. I told you he stole it. Right? Come on. Let’s go.
EDWARD
His parents will make him give it back.
JIM Listen, I’ve already tried that. The guy’s parents are like he is. Okay? Now, you told Kim you’d do this. Well, come on. Let’s go. Come
on. Come on. Come on. (Edward picks the lock and the door opens, but when he steps into the room the alarm works and the door shuts.)
JIM The bastard had it wired separately. Come on.
KIM No, Jim. We can’t just leave him here.
POLICEMAN
We know you’re in there.
OFFICER ALLEN We’re in the process of deactivating the system so that you can come out.
KIM
Denny, turn around!
JIM No way!
KIM Jim, it’s your house. They can’t arrest you for
setting off your own alarm. We’ll just tell them we were breaking in.
JIM I’m not going back there. Okay?
KIM
We have to go back.
JIM No, because my father will prosecute.
KIM His own son?
JIM Especially his own son. If Edward tells, I’ll kill him.
KIM Denny, turn around.
JIM No.
KIM Turn around. We have to.
OFFICER ALLEN Put your hands high in the air so we can see them. Put your hands up!
POLICEMAN (to Allen)
He’s got something in his hands. Looks like knives.
OFFICER ALLEN Drop your weapon I repeat. Drop your weapon. I’ll ask you one more time and this is your
last warning. Drop your weapon. If you fail to do so, we’ll have to open fire. Don’t make us do that, please. Drop your weapons. Drop them. Now. Looks like we got a psycho. Prepare to fire. (Neighbors gather and ask not to
fire.)
A WOMAN Please. We know him.
OFFICER ALLEN Alright, cuff him.
(At police station)
PEG But can we see him now?
POLICEMAN We’ll have to hold him overnight for
observation.
PEG He has to stay in prison all night?
POLICEMAN Pick him up in the morning.
(criminal investigation section in police station)
PEG Oh, Edward. Hello Edward, dear. I blame myself.
BILL
(to Edward) What in god’s name was going through your mind, son?
PEG Why don’t I set a better example? You saw how I
envied Jim’s parents, their money.
BILL What were you going to do with that stuff?
PEG Oh, I blithely say, “We’ll get money for the
salon somehow.” But I never meant stealing. Stealing’s not the way to get it. Stealing’s not the way to get anything.
BILL Except trouble. And you’re in a heap of that.
PEG Why ever did you do this?
OFFICER ALLEN Will he be okay, Doc?
PSYCHOLOGIST The years in spent isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He’s had no context. He’s been completely without guidance. Furthermore his work, the garden sculptures, hair styles, and
so forth. Indicate that he’s a highly imaginative.
OFFICER ALLEN Character.
PSYCHOLOGIST
It seems clear that his awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped.
OFFICER ALLEN But will he be all right out there?
PSYCHOLOGIST
Oh, yeah. He’ll be fine.
OFFICER ALLEN (to Edward) Listen. It could keep me up all night worrying about you. Watch yourself.
(roadside)
MARGIE I heard this noise and ran out in my bathrobe.
JOYCE All along I felt in my gut. There was something
wrong with him.
MARGIE It could have been my house.
HELEN It could have been any of our houses.
ESMERALDA I warned you, didn’t I? I saw the sign of satan on him. You didn’t heed my warning. but now you will because now you see it too. (Reporters approach Edward and
Peg.)
PEG Edward. You stay here.
REPORTER What do you say in your defense?
EDWARD Nothing.
PEG He didn’t want to talk.
REPORTER You have to say something.
PEG He can’t talk right now.
REPORTER
No comments? No remarks?
REPORTER (to Edward) So were you set up? What was going through your mind? One comment.
PEG We have to get in the house. We don’t want to talk to you. We’ll talk to you later.
REPORTER One comment.
<!–nextpage–> PEG Well, for goodness sakes, Lois, I’ll see you at our Christmas party. Before I get you here for your haircut. Of course, we’ll have it this year. Why wouldn’t we have it this year? Well,
you may think that, but you’re wrong.
KIM You’re here. They didn’t hurt you, did they? Were you scared? I tried to make Jim go back, but you can’t make Jim do anything. Thank you
for not telling them about me.
EDWARD You are welcome.
KIM It must have been awful when they told you
whose house it was.
EDWARD I know it was Jim’s house.
KIM You did?
EDWARD Yes.
KIM Well, then why did you do it?
EDWARD Because you asked me to. (Jim called out for Kim.)
KIM Don’t.
JIM What’s the matter with you? When you are going to stop? I did what I could. My old man think he’s retarded, otherwise he’d still be in jail. What more do you want from me?
KIM You could tell the truth.
JIM So could do. You were there, too.
KIM It wasn’t my idea. You know I didn’t want to do it.
JIM But you did do it. I don’t get why you give
such a shit anyway.
BILL Well, we are going to try to help you find a way to replace the drapes and the towels, but our confidence in you, Edward, is not going to
be so easy to replace.
KIM Dad!
BILL Okay, a little ethics. You are walking down the
street. You find a suitcase full of money. There’s nobody around. No human person is in evidence. What do you do? A You keep the money. B You use it to buy gifts for your friends and your loved ones. C
You give it to the poor. D You turn it into the police.
KIM That is really stupid.
PEG
Kim!
KEVIN I keep the money.
PEG Simmer down.
BILL Edward?
KIM Hey, how about after dinner we go down to the bowling alley? That will be fun.
PEG You are not seeing Jim tonight?
KIM No.
KEVIN You know we had a cool show-and-tell today. This kid brought in a box of baby possums, 10. maybe 12. Totally naked. No hair at all.
PEG
Honey, this is fascinating. but I don’t think your father’s finished yet.
BILL Thank you, dear. Edward, we are waiting.
EDWARD
Give it to my loved ones?
PEG Oh, Edward, it does seem that that’s what you should do, bit it’s not.
KEVIN
You dope, everybody knows he’s supposed to give it to the police.
BILL Good thinking, Kevin.
KIM
Well, think about it, you guys, I mean, that’s the nicer thing to do. That’s what I would do.
BILL We’re trying to make things easier for him, so let’s cut the comedy for a little while.
KIM I am being serious. It’s a nicer thing to do.
BILL We’re not talking nice. We’re talking right and wrong.
KIM Shut up.
PEG Oh, goodness sake, no wonder poor Edward can’t learn right from wrong living in his family.
(Margie and women on the phone.)
WOMAN 1
Did you hear what he did to Peg’s curtains?
MARGIE
It is unbelievable that they’re having their Christmas party anyway. Are you going?
WOMAN 1 Oh, I don’t think so.
MARGIE
He practically raped Joyce, you know threatening her with those knives? It’s a miracle she escaped.
