Edward Scissorhands

script used with courtesey of Sci-Fi Scripts

Edward Sissorhands

OLD KIM
Snuggle in, sweetie. It’s cold out there.

GRANDDAUGHTER
Why is it snowing, grandma? Where does it come
from?

OLD KIM
Oh, that’s a long story, sweetheart.

GRANDDAUGHTER
I want to hear.

OLD KIM
Oh, not tonight. Go to sleep.

GRANDDAUGHTER
I’m not sleepy. Tell me, please.

OLD KIM

Well, all right. Let’s see. I guess it would
have to start with scissors.

GRANDDAUGHTER
Scissors?

OLD KIM

Well, there are all kinds of scissors. And once
there was even a man who had scissors for
hands.

GRANDDAUGHTER
A man?

OLD KIM
Yes.

GRANDDAUGHTER
Hands, scissors?

OLD KIM
No, scissorhands. You know the mansion on top
of the mountain?

GRANDDAUGHTER
It’s haunted.

OLD KIM
Well, a long time ago, an inventor lived in
that mansion. He made many things, I suppose.
He also created a man. He gave him inside, a
heart, a brain, everything. Well, almost

everything. You see, the inventor was very old.
He died before he got to finish the man he
invented. So the man was left by himself,
incomplete and all alone.

GRANDDAUGHTER

He didn’t have a name?

OLD KIM
Of course, he had a name. His name was Edward.

PEG
Avon calling.

HELEN
Weren’t you just here?

PEG
No, not since last season. Today I’ve come to
show you our exquisite new line of soft colors

in shadows, blushes and lipstick. Everything
you need to accent and highlight your changing
looks.

HELEN
My changing looks? That’s good.

(Helen chuckles)

PEG
Well, it goes that saying and I also have a
complete selection of your old favorites, those
tried-and-true products we’ve all come to

depend on year-in and year-out.

HELEN
Come on, Peg. I never buy anything from you.
You know that?

PEG

I know. Bye, Helen.

REPAIRMAN
You know, you didn’t have to call me, ma’am.
You could have taken care of this by yourself.

JOYCE

I could? I don’t think so.

REPAIRMAN
Yeah, you see, it’s easy. The food trap’s
clogged. That’s all. You see this bolt here?
You just unscrew this. OK? And out she pops.

JOYCE
You know, on TV they say you repairmen are
lonely bunch of people. Housewives get lonely
too. Although you may not realize it since they
haven’t made a commercial on the subject.

REPAIRMAN
And then you just take this and put it back in
here nice and easy. Be careful not to force it,
because it fits in there by itself. And then
you just screw this back on.

(The bell rings.)

JOYCE
On no! Who could that be? Will you excuse me
for a moment? Now. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be
right back. This is fascinating. I wouldn’t

want to miss a moment of it.

PEG
Good morning, Joyce. Avon calling.

JOYCE
Why! Peg. Have you gone blind? Can’t you see

there’s a vehicle in my driveway?

PEG
Oh, yes.

JOYCE
Well, I’m surprised you don’t realize that

means I’m busy.
(Joyce shuts the door with a
bang.)

PEG
Okay. Now, we should decide on lipsticks. Okay,

dear, what one did you like best? There was the
Winsome Wahini which looked charming on you. Or
the Bahenie Bliss.

A GIRL
I like them both.

PEG
Well, great.

A GIRL
You don’t actually think I have any money, do
you?

(Peg gets in her car.)

CHILDREN
Ding, dong, the Avon lady.

PEG
It’s just not my day.

(Disappointed Peg sees a mansion
through her rearview mirror and
drives to the place. She is
attracted by the beautiful garden
there and enters the mansion.)

PEG
Oh, my goodness.

PEG
Oh, it’s so beautiful. Hello?
(Birds flying)

Hello? Avon calling, oh my. Hello, I’m Peg
Boggs. I’m your local Avon representative.
Hello. I’m sorry to barge in like this. But you
don’t have any reason to be afraid. This is
some huge house, isn’t it? Thank goodness for
those aerobics classes.

(Snipping)

PEG
Hello. Hello. Why are you hiding back there?
You don’t have to hide from me. I’m Peg Boggs.
I’m your local Avon representative and I’m as

harmless as cherry pie.
(Peg sees Edward’s scissorhands.)
Oh my! I can see that I’ve disturbed you. How
stupid of me! I’ll just be going now.

EDWARD

Don’t go.

PEG
Oh my! What happened to you?

EDWARD
I’m not finished.

PEG
Uh, put those down. Don’t come any closer. Just
please… Those are your hands? Those are your
hands. What happened to you? Where are your
parents? Hum… Your mother? Your father?

EDWARD
He didn’t wake up.

PEG
Are you alone? Do you live up here all by
yourself? What happened to your face? Hum, you

know, I won’t hurt you. But at the very least
let me give you a good astringent and this will
help to prevent infection. What’s your name?

EDWARD
Edward.

PEG
Edward? I think you should just come home with
me.
(Peg takes Edward to her home)

PEG

Oh!

EDWARD
I’m-I’m sorry.

PEG
No, Don’t be. You go ahead and look you have

every reason to be excited.

PEG
Oh! Are you ok?

EDWARD
Are you ok?

(Ring)

HELEN
Hello.

MARGIE
Hi, it’s Margie. Listen, I was standing outside

talking to Carol and Peg drove by, she had
somebody in the car.

HELEN
Did you get a good look?

MARGIE

No, did she say anything to you, about having
guest?

HELEN
She didn’t say anything. She rang my doorbell
early this morning.

MARGIE
No, ok, I’ll meet you on the corner. Right,
Bye.
(Birds signal)

HELEN

Oh, damn!

PEG
Here we go, dear. This is our house. And you
can just go right in and make yourself right at
home. OK? And just, well have something to eat

or drink, whatever you… Here, dear. Here
you… This is the front door here, Here we go,
right in here.
(A woman talks on the phone)

A WOMAN

Joyce, I just saw this strange guy drop in with
Peg. I didn’t get a very good look at him. He
looked kind of pale. Okay, I’ll be right there.
Don’t do anything without me. Okay? Bye.

JOYCE

Yes, I’ll be right there.

PEG
Here we are. So, oh, this is the living room
and back here, the bedrooms. You want to see
the pictures? All right. Well, this is my

husband, Bill. He’s a bowling champion. Do you
know what bowling is? Bowling? Well, here they
are down at the lake, fishing. I think Kevin
looks a little glum Because they didn’t catch
anything that day. And here’s my daughter, Kim.
All dressed up the junior prom. She’s a senior

now. I can’t believe it. She’s camping in the
mountains with some friends, but she’ll be back
in a few days and you can meet her then. Isn’t
she beautiful? That’s my family. Now, go on,
dear. I’ll show you the rest of the house. Then
you can just freshen up and make yourself at

home. Okay? That’s the kitchen over there. You
help yourself to anything you want to eat or
drink. Those are grapes. Back here are the
bedrooms. Let me get you some towels, then I
will see what we can find to wear. You know
what? I think I have some of Bill’s old clothes

in here. This is perfect. Here. These should
just fit you.
(The phone rings.)
Oh, no, no. Don’t be alarmed. That’s just a
phone. Now you can go in Kim’s room and put
these on. I’ll be right with you.

PEG
No, no, scissors. That’s right. Well, he was
born up there or something. Have you seen him
before? No, I don’t think he’s been off the
grounds before today. You’re kidding. How did

you get together with him? I have to go. I’ll
talk to you later Margie, Bye-bye.
(to Edward)
I’m sorry Edward, I didn’t… oh, dear. May I
help you with this?

EDWARD
Thank you.

PEG
There you go. Oh, dear, you’ve cut your face.
Let me get this right off. Does that hurt?

Okay. No, good. Now let’s get you dressed.
Okay. There we go. Very fine. You look fine,
just fine. Come on, we can’t wait for you.
You’ve got rollers in your damn hair.

PEG

Okay. Now what did I do with my sci… Edward,
um, would you. Thank you. I have a doctor
friend who I think could help you.

EDWARD
Really?

PEG
Yes, I can help with the scars. I just want to
consult the Avon handbook before doing
anything.

PEG

Kevin, it’s not polite to stare. Think how it
would make you feel if somebody were staring at
you.

KEVIN
I wouldn’t care.

PEG
Well, I would, so don’t do it!

BILL
This must be quite a change for you, Ed.

PEG
I think he prefers Edward.

BILL
Sure. So what have you been doing up there in
that big old place? I bet the view must be

spectacular, Ed.

PEG
I was just…

BILL
See all the way to the ocean?

EDWARD
Sometimes.

PEG
Bill, could I have the salt and pepper? Thank
you.

KEVIN
Man, those things are cool. You know I bet
they’re razor sharp. One karate chop to a guy’s
neck…

PEG

Would you like some butter for your bread?

PEG
Great.

EDWARD
Thank you.

KEVIN
Can I bring him to show and tell on Monday?

PEG
I’ve had enough.

PEG
(to Edward)
You think you can sleep? Things feel strange
now, but soon you’ll feel right at home. Good
night.
(Peg tries to cover Edward’s

scars.)

PEG
The light concealing cream goes on first, then
you blend and blend and blend. Blending is the
secret. More concealing for you? But you

complexion is so fair. Now this has a touch of
lavender in it. Give it a try here. Close
enough. OK. This should do the trick here. I
have another idea. We’ll cover up the scars and
start with a completely smooth surface. Don’t
eat this stuff! Sports announcements on

RADIO
Hartely into the windup and the strike one
pitch. Swung on and missed strike two. If it’s
a hit, the club has 12 hits. But they still
have 11 on the scoreboard and it’s 3-1. 0 and 2

the count to Warren. Now they change it to 12
hits.

BILL
Turn it up, Kevin. I can’t hear it. Kevin! No,
make it louder. Sports announcements on

RADIO
Hartely’s strike two pitch is hammered.

KEVIN
You hear that, Mr. Boggs?

BILL
No, make it louder. Sports announcements on

RADIO
It’s going way back. It’s gone. It’s out of
here. It is history.

KEVIN
Dad, look! Sports announcements on

RADIO
A grand slam for Martinez to make it a five-run
inning and blow this game to pieces.

BILL
I’ll be darned.

PEG
They filled the whole tape.
(Peg listens to the recorded

phones.)

RECORDED VOICES
What’s going on over there, Peg. Call me….Hi,
it’s Margie. Who is he? Call me. Oh, by the
way, here it’s pouring rain in the mountains.

You think the kids are okay?…Hi, there,
darling. The gals are all in a tizzy about your
secret visitor. You can’t keep him a secret
forever.

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