Nick of Time
Jones Oh, you’re a big girl, huh?
Lynn I’m not a big girl, but I’m not a baby.
Brendan Ladies and gentlemen, members of the press, campaign volunteers, and those of you who were looking for any excuse to take off from work this afternoon. Let me be the first to welcome you to this afternoon’s campaign banquet. Governor Eleanor Samara Grant. Well, what can I say about her, that won’t get me in trouble when I go home tonight?
Brendan (on TV) Seriously, she is a woman who loves our great state.
Brendan I know you recognise her as a charitable and enlightened leader. She actually united Republicans and Democrats in the assembly to pass new laws to improve the lives of all Californians.
Cameraman Charlie. Yo, Charlie. Charlie, you reading me? Charlie? Charlie, Charlie are you reading me? Cha. . . Shit, stupid radio. Hey, Terr, Terry, the walkie-talkies don’t work from here ‘cos there’s too much concrete and stuff.
Brendan . . .California has veer seen! I am honoured to present to you, our esteemed governor, and my beloved wife, Eleanor Samara Grant.
Franco Gun! Get down, Governor!
Brendan Get a doctor! The governor’s been shot! They did it. A bleeding heart makes a very big target, Governor.
Eleanor My God! Franco! Oh my God. Are you all right?
Franco I’d be better if they’d put sleeves on these damn bullet-proof vests.
Jones It’s time. You read me? I don’t hear you. I’m gonna go ahead now.
Man 1 Hey!
Man 2 Hey!
Smith Fuck with me, huh?
Jones Close your eyes.
Lynn Why?
Jones I have something for you.
Lynn A surprise?
Jones You ask too many questions. You want the surprise or not? Huh? Close your eyes.
Huey Afternoon, ma’am. Hello there, little girl.
Jones Hey, what, what, what are you doing?
Huey I’m just giving you the gift of a clean windshield.
Jones No, no, no. I don’t want my windshield cleaned. So just get outta here.
Huey Oh, you just think you don’t want your windshield cleaned.
Jones No, I know that I don’t want my windshield cleaned. So get outta here.
Huey Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. Just think of me as the Moses of dirty windshields, leading you through the desert of dead bugs.
Jones This is the last time I’m telling you. I don’t want my windshield cleaned, so get the hell outta here.
Huey I’ve already done it, I’ve already done it. You have to pay me now.
Jones I ain’t paying you nothing.
Huey Oh, come on. You would deny me a lousy dollar, after I’ve sweated like a pig, giving you the gift of a clean windshield.
Jones Fucking A!
Huey I don’t think so!
Jones What you doing?
Huey I think this is worth a dollar.
Jones Give it to me!
Huey I’m gonna do better than that.
Jones No, you better. . .
Huey Oh, you ungrateful honkey! . . .whip your ass!
Jones Give it to me!
Huey Get off me!
Smith Daddy blew it.
Lynn No!
Smith Very good, Mr Watson. I told ’em, I could make a killer out of you.
Lynn Daddy!
Gene You okay, Honey? Yeah? Thank God! Thank God.
Huey Nothing like a good wing-tip.
Gene You okay? You okay? You’re okay. You’re okay.
Lynn I’m okay.
Gene Baby.
Newscaster I’m standing in the Bonaventure lobby with this breaking news story. Just minutes ago, shots were fired at Governor Grant. The police are just beginning to arrive on the scene. The details of the attempted assassination continue to pour in. This is going to prove to be one of the most bizarre stories of the year. Our sources are now pinpointing a conspiracy which could point as high as Brendan Grant, Governor Grant’s husband. This is a bizarre case and we will give over to you, any details, late breaking events, as we get them. Stephen Schuster, JBN.
