Nick of Time
Gene That says ‘invitation only’.
Smith See, you’re a big donor to the campaign. Of course you’re invited. They love you. That’ll get you in anywhere.
Gene Who are you?
Smith I’m the guy’s gonna kill your daughter if you don’t get moving.
Eleanor Nobody heard a word I said. The mike was too low on the podium.
Ms Brooks How much did we pay for that room?
Franco We didn’t.
Eleanor Well somebody did. Make sure you have Melvin pre-check the PA system.
Franco Excuse me, sir. This elevator’s for the governor. You can take the next one.
Eleanor No, no, no. Don’t you dare, Franco. This is one of our biggest contributors. Look at the name tag. Come on in, it’s okay. Hi, Eleanor Grant, gubernational incumbent. It’s a mouthful, isn’t it? I love saying it. Whose idea was it to schedule lunch right after brunch?
Ms Brooks We’ll just walk through, we’ll do a little grip and grin. And we’ll get ready for the press.
Gene Governor?
Eleanor Yes.
Gene I need your help.
Eleanor What can I do for you, Mr, er, Watson?
Gene It’s about my daughter… Now, my daugh. . .
Smith Got room in there for one more?
Eleanor Well I think we can accommodate one more.
Smith Pleasure, Governor.
Eleanor Well, thank you very much. Erm, you were saying. . . Your daughter. Yes?
Gene Well. . . She just wanted me to be sure that I got your, um, autograph.
Eleanor Of course! I wish everything were that easy.
Ms Brooks I’ve got the pen if you’ve got the paper. How about that? That something precious?
Gene No.
Eleanor Um, her name? Her name?
Gene L. . . Lynn. Her name’s Lynn.
Ms Brooks You know, it’s funny, I don’t even keep a pad of paper with me any more. Everything’s gone so electronic.
Eleanor Are you all right? I know, elevators make me queasy too. Here. Good luck. All right, here we go guys. Let’s go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
Smith She was right in front of you.
Gene Listen to me. . .
Smith What’s wrong with you? Are you fucking with me? Are you fucking with me? Get up there.
Gene The gun isn’t loaded.
Smith It’s not? Give it to me. Give me the gun! You don’t get chances like that. Mr Watson. That’s the way life works. Turn around. Now look at that. Huh? You see that? Do not blow the next one. Hear me? All right. It’s loaded. It’s ready, for the hunt, and so are we. Sorry I hit you.
Gene Yeah.
Smith Breathe deep. Let’s go.
Gene I think I need a restroom.
Smith It’s that way.
Chinese Man (talking Chinese)
Huey You having a rough day? Down at the heels, as they say? You don’t see your face, you don’t pay. What you need is a shoeshine.
Jones That’s pretty good.
Lynn I’ve done much better ones than this.
Jones You have, huh?
Lynn Oh, yes. I’ll show you. I have much more colours at home.
Jones Well, that’s good. That’s good, Sweetie-Pie.
Smith Let’s go.
Huey Shoeshine. Shoeshine today. Hey, hey, shoeshine. Take ten. Take a break. Take a seat. Take a load off. What you need is a shoeshine. Shoe shining day. Come on. Take ten. Take a break. Take a load off. Put the world in perspective. So, are you a visitor?
Gene No, no I’m just visiting.
Huey What do you do? If, I may be so bold.
Gene Sorry, what?
Huey What do you do?
Gene I’m an accountant.
Huey Well, don’t denigrate yourself, my friend. Where would the government be without accountants? They wouldn’t know how hard they could squeeze us, until we popped. Isn’t that right? Now, you take tips. Time was, a tip was between a man and his customer. Not anymore. They’ve figured out what they call, a formula. They take your sales see, and slap a percentile on that figure. And somewhere between your lies and your bad luck, they’ll hit on the ‘mean amount’, mean meaning in the middle. But if you ask me it just means plain mean. You can have Uncle Scrooge wring a nickel over your palm, or Daddy Warbucks dropping pearl stickpins, don’t make no difference. They’ll tax your behind according to that same formula. Doesn’t seem quite right, does it?
Gene No, it doesn’t.
Porter Hey, Mr Huey. How’s it going today?
Huey Well, it’s a load, my friend. But somebody’s got to carry it.
Gene Sir. Sir. I need your help.
Huey What’s that? You’ll have to speak up.
Gene There’s a little girl in a van. She’s my daughter.
Huey I’m, I’m a little deaf in this ear. I mean, between that and my wooden leg, I’m all messed up. Compliments of the United States Army, Artillery Corps.
Gene Listen to me. A man and a woman were at the train. They showed me a badge and then they took her away from me. They took her because they want me to do something for them, do you understand? She’s in trouble.
Huey I’ll have you out of here in a few shakes.
Gene Please, I don’t have much time. I need your help. He’s watching me.
Huey Who’s watching you?
Gene The man.
Huey You know, for a quality shoe, you can’t beat a good wing-tip. No, sir, it wears like iron. No you’re a, you’re a wise man, you know? There you go. Two bucks’ll do you. You got anything smaller?
Gene Keep it.
Huey Well, that’s a twenty.
Gene It’s fine, keep it.
Huey Well, thank you.
Gene What street is that?
Huey That’s Flower. Just go out past the bar. Takes you right out there.
Gene Do me a favour. If anything were to happen to me, remember the van. She’s in the van.
Smith Ten minutes, you get another chance.
Gene Good. Then I’ve time to get a drink.
Smith All right. Make it just one, Mr Watson, wouldn’t want to lose you.
Man 1 So, where was I?
Man 2 Something about the governor’s new regime.
Man 1 Oh, yeah, yeah. She’s dumping the good old boys faster than yesterday’s newspapers.
Man 2 It’s no wonder they’re howling.
Man 1 They had no idea she was gonna turn into this flaming Liberal.
Man 2 They’re pisses, huh?
Man 1 She’s turned the governor’s office into the United Nations. You don’t think they’re gonna make her pay?
Man 2 Fuck with this bunch, they could blow your ass to kingdom-come.
Man 1 That’s right. The only people not on her staff, are those ones still lost in the rainforest. I’m serious, I’m serious. Who are these people? They don’t represent you and me.
Jones Ssh, ssh, ssh. You’ll wake the baby up. What we have here, is what they call a Mexican Stand-Off. Now, the thing you’ve gotta ask yourself is, what’s behind the seat? Now, a twenty-two’d go right through it. But even a button’ll throw a twenty-two off, so there is a good chance that it could get screwed up somewhere along the way and miss the target. What about a thirty-eight? Well, a thirty-eight will drill pretty straight, unless, of course, it hits metal. Then it’s gonna bust up into little biddy pieces. It’ll keep going. But it’ll get slowed down quite a bit. How’s about a three-fifty-seven? Now that’ll go through the seat, her, the dashboard. Shit, it’ll go through the entire engine block before it even knows it hit anything. It’ll end up in some pedestrian three blocks away. What do you think? What’s my poison? Huh? Well, it’s a comfort to know you’ve got the cajones to pull that thing out. Whether or not you’ve got the balls to pull the trigger, we’ve still gotta see. Close the door. It’s hot outside. He’s coming back in.
Smith I got him, in the cross-hairs.
Gene Excuse me, pool deck, where’s the pool deck?
Porter Fourth floor. Take that escalator.
Gene Thanks very much.
White Take positions near the stage area. Keep your eyes open. Let’s have a safe day.
