Finding Neverland
James I think it was the first time she ever, actually. . . looked at me. And that was the end of the boy James. I used to say to myself, he’d gone to Neverland.
Sylvia Where?
James Neverland. It’s a wonderful place. I’ve not spoken about this before to anyone. Ever.
Sylvia What’s it like, Neverland?
James One day I’ll take you there.
Charles Wait a minute, James, he’s a fairy?
James Er, no. He’s the irrepressible spirit of youth. Tinkerbell’s the fairy.
Charles Tinkerbell’s a woman?
James She’s not a woman, she’s a fairy. He is a boy who stays young forever.
Charles James, how does anyone stay young for ever? It doesn’t work.
James He just believes, Charles, he imagines life the way he wants it to be. And he believes in it long enough and hard enough that it all appears before him. Do you see?
Charles James, I’m your friend. You’re coming off a flop. You have a man who is a fairy. . .
James No, boy.
Charles Yes, okay. And this girl calls herself Tinker. And you have a pirate ship on stage, surrounded by tons and tons of water. That’s a lot of water.
James It’s a lot of water.
Charles Yes, and that’s a lot of money.
James It is, but we can, we can fake the water.
Charles Oh well, if we can fake the water then I’m sure your play will be a hit. You know what I think I’ll do? I think I’ll imagine life the way I want it to be. . .
James Long enough and hard enough.
Charles Yes, and then the money for the play will appear magically before me.
James That’s right, that’s it.
Charles How does the clock wind up inside the crocodile?
James He swallows it.
Charles Ah, of course he does.
Man How was he?
Mary Well done.
Woman Thank you.
James Finally get the courage to invite the boys to a game and we have to suffer this grave humiliation. It’s perfect actually.
Arthur You spend a good deal of time with them don’t you?
James Every moment I can spare in fact.
Arthur I’m glad for you. Mrs Davies’ll be having a good time of it as well. Should be aware though, James, what some people have been saying. Now, mind you, I wouldn’t bring it up if I thought it would pass.
James Not surprised. What do they say?
Arthur Very well, that you spend much more time with Mrs Davies than you do with your own wife. She is a widow. And, erm.
James And a friend. That’s it, nothing more.
Arthur There have also been questions about, how you spend your time with those boys, and why.
James That’s outrageous. How could anyone think something so evil, they’re children. They’re innocent children. You find a glimmer of happiness in this world, there’s always someone who wants to destroy it. No. Thank you, Arthur, but I don’t think many will give credence to such nonsense.
Arthur Then why is no-one sitting with them? Once you get a bit of notoriety James, people watch you, and they will look for ways to drag you down.
Sylvia Are you sure your wife doesn’t object to us taking over your cottage for the summer? James.
James She doesn’t go there any more.
Sylvia Really? It’s such a relief to get away. You’ll come and visit I hope.
James ‘Course. Are we in?
Sylvia Everyone in?
Jack Can I drive Uncle Jim?
James Er. . . No. Out of the way or I’ll make haggis of you.
Michael Get the sheep out the way.
Jack Are we there yet?
James Almost. Almost there.
Jack I can see the cottage! Shall we explore, Michael?
Sylvia If you’re going outside don’t tear your clothes, please.
James Would you like to see the rest of it?
Sylvia Yes.
James Okay. Hello. Thought you could escape from Captain Swarthy, eh? Off to the ship with you then. Off to the ship son. So now you can either choose to become a pirate with the rest of us. . . Or, we’ll toss you to the shark.
Michael How marvellous.
James Or maybe the crocodiles, eh?
Sylvia No-one’s escaped Captain.
James Excellent work, matey. Now then, now is your only chance to speak. Who amongst you is ready to tie your hopes and dreams to the sea?
Michael I am.
James Not finished yet. And to enter into the most dangerous chapter in your young and soon to be wasted lives? What did you say? What are you doing, son? Are you giggling? On my ship? Giggling? What did you say?
George I said I’m ready Captain.
James What’s your name boy?
George I’m Curly, the oldest and wisest of the crew.
James Cut him loose matey. Welcome aboard Curly. Your job will be to mop the deck. And who be you, young squire?
Jack My name be Nibbs the Cut-Throat, feared by men and greatly desired by the ladies.
Sylvia Jack!
James Welcome aboard Nibbs, you shall polish all the wood surfaces.
Sylvia Grab a hold of that rigging.
James And you lad?
Peter I’m Peter.
James That’s not a pirate name. What about Dastardly Jim, eh?
Peter No, just Peter. I like my name.
James Very well. In punishment for lack of an interesting pirate name, Peter shall walk the plank. Cut ‘im loose.
Mr Reilly Mr Barrie sir. There’s been a mistake here sir. It says here I’m to play the nanny. Don’t imagine I quite fit that part, eh?
James You’re not actually a nanny, you’re a dog.
Mr Reilly What?
James A Newfoundland, we’ll put you in a great big fluffy dog suit.
Mr Reilly Oh right.
Organiser Actually, we don’t have a Tinkerbell cast do we? He could play Tinkerbell.
James Oh heavens, no. Tinkerbell’s a light that moves around the stage. Just a wee light that, that, that moves around the stage.
Stagehand Bit worried about this.
Charles Let’s see, got John Darling, Michael Darling, Tiger-Lily, Smee, Skylines, it’s a play for puppets. Tools, Nibbs, Curley. Oh these names are absurd when you see them all together. Captain Hook, Sergeant. . . Oh, hello James. You’re out of your mind.
Mary How were rehearsals?
James Fine, great, they’re going, quite well.
Mary Good.
James Yes, thank you.
Sylvia Hello.
James Hello.
Sylvia How was your journey?
James ‘Twas quite long, I’m exhausted.
Sylvia Let’s get you some tea.
James That’d be nice, thanks.
