Finding Neverland
Transcript written by and used with the courtesey of Angela Sugden
Voices Lights up. 5 minute call please. Places. Everyone to their places.
Charles Opening nights? I love opening nights. How are you?
Man 1 Good to see you.
Man 2 Good evening, Charles, this is my wife.
Charles Oh, Lydia, Herbert, may I give you a peck?
Man 3 One of Mr Barrie’s finest?
Charles Oh, that genius Gusmann has done it again, it’s the best thing I’ve produced in 25 years.
Man 3 Really?
Charles I already have investors interested back home in New York.
Man 3 See you on Broadway.
Voice 1st position, people. Standing by please, ladies and gentlemen, if you could take your opening positions please. Beginners please take your opening positions. Audience are coming in, standing by.
Usher Good audience.
James Sorry?
Usher Good audience, tonight.
James That’s great. Thank you. How much longer?
Usher 10 minutes.
Charles I love opening nights. I want a dance with your wife at the after party. Oh, my goodness.
John Good evening, sir.
Charles How are you, John?
John Very well.
Charles It’s the best thing that I’ve produced in 25 years. Hello, George, how are you?
Man Healthy and wealthy I see.
Charles You’ve rearranged a holiday for me. I won’t forget.
Man For you, Charles.
Charles You won’t regret it.
Man I’m sure.
Mrs Snow Have you got the tickets?
Mr Snow Yes, they’re in my pocket.
Mrs Snow Oh, there’s Mrs Barrie.
Mary Barrie Mr & Mrs Snow.
Mrs Snow We were so hoping to speak with your husband before the show.
Mr Snow Have you seen him?
Mary I’m not sure where he is actually.
Mrs Snow We do miss seeing you on stage, you were so wonderful.
Mary Yes? Well it’s been some time now. Are you all right to find your seat?
Mrs Snow Oh yes, yes. See you at the party then.
Mary Excuse me. Would you find Mr Barrie and remind him that they’re doing his play this evening.
Usher Yes, Madam.
Mary Thank you.
Charles Let’s close the doors.
Actor 1 Really, I mustn’t inconvenience you in this way. I can wait quite well in the shop.
Actor 2 ‘Tis no inconvenience, the shop is chilly.
Actor 1 And there is a fire here. Really, uncommonly good.
Usher Sorry, sir, um, Mrs Barrie wanted me to remind you that the play’s begun, though I imagine you know that.
James They hate it.
Usher Sir?
James It’s like a dentist’s office out there, why?
Usher I wouldn’t say they hate it, sir.
James What do you think? Do you like it?
Usher I’ve just been hiding, sir.
James Yes or no, I’m not bothered.
Usher I’m not really qualified to. . .
James Do you like it? Is it crap?
Usher Crap, sir?
James Go on, say it, just say it. Its shite isn’t it? Go on, say it.
Usher I don’t know if I’m. . .
James It’s bulls’ pizzle, Mr Barrie, go on, say it.
Usher It’s bulls’ pizzle, Mr Barrie.
James I knew it.
Usher No, I haven’t even seen it.
James I knew it. Thank you. Thank you very much.
Man 1 Absolute rubbish from start to finish.
Man 2 Yes, I found it fearfully dull.
Man 3 You can say goodbye to your investment, old boy.
Charles Good to see you, my apologies.
James We’ll get them with the next one, Charles, I promise.
Charles Of course we will, James.
James I know you put a lot into this one.
Charles A fortune James, but I’m fortunate because I can afford to lose a fortune.
James Can you?
Charles No, I can’t. How are you?
James Arthur
Arthur James. You were sorely missed at the last club meeting.
James Was I?
Arthur We were beginning to wonder which is your hobby, writing or cricket.
James You don’t say.
Mary You wanted to speak with Mr Barrie didn’t you?
Mrs Snow Well yes, but we shouldn’t interrupt them, should we?
Mary I don’t see why not.
Arthur If you ask me, the problem lies in our batting order.
James You’re absolutely right.
Mary James.
James Hello, darling.
Mary You remember Mr & Mrs Snow, don’t you?
James Mrs Snow.
Mrs Snow Mr Barrie.
James Mr Snow.
Mary So, the Snows have been waiting to meet with you all evening.
Mrs Snow Oh, yes.
