Sweeney Todd
ANTHONY If I could keep her here, just for an hour or two, I would forever be in your debt. Todd stares at him, his mind racing to figure out how this new twist might aid in his plans. It is Mrs. Lovett who smoothly replies:
MRS. LOVETT Bring her here, dear.
ANTHONY Thank you, ma’am … … Mr. Todd? A beat.
TODD The girl may come.
ANTHONY Thank you, my friend. He goes.
MRS. LOVETT Seems like the fates are favoring you at last, Mr. T. What is it, love? You’ll have her back before the day is out.
TODD For a few hours? Before he carries her off to the other end of England?
MRS. LOVETT Oh, him? Let him bring her here and then, since you’re so hot for a little — (makes a throat-cutting gesture) — that’s the throat to slit, dear. Todd moves again to his post at the window, he stares out, deep in thought. Meanwhile, she happily moves around the shop, straightening things up and trying to make it all a bit more cozy:
MRS. LOVETT Poor little Johanna. All those years without a scrap of motherly affection. Well, we’ll soon see to that…
TODD What’s this? Mrs. Lovett joins him at the window. Below, they see Pirelli approaching with Toby in tow.
MRS. LOVETT Look at that face, he’s up to mischief.
TODD Go — keep the boy below with you. She nods and scurries out. We go with her… 28
EXT. PIE SHOP — DAY
28 … Mrs. Lovett quickly moves down the steps outside the barber shop to greet Pirelli and Toby as they are about to ascend. We see a new sign on the stairs: “Sweeney Todd’s Tonsorial Parlor.”
PIRELLI Signora, is Mr. Todd at home?
MRS. LOVETT Plying his trade upstairs, don’tcher know … (she stands on the staircase, blocking their way, looking at Toby)
MRS. LOVETT (cont’d) … Would you look at it, now! Don’t look like it’s had a kind word since half past never!
TOBY Ma’am…?
MRS. LOVETT You wouldn’t mind if I gave him a nice juicy meat pie, would yer?
PIRELLI Yes, yes, whatever you like. Pirelli climbs the stairs, as she takes Toby by the hand and leads him toward the pie shop door:
MRS. LOVETT Come with me now. Your teeth is strong, I hope? They go into the pie shop. 29
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
29 Todd is standing, arms folded. Waiting. Pirelli enters.
PIRELLI Mr. Todd.
TODD Signor Pirelli.
PIRELLI (reverting to his natural Irish) Call me Danny. Daniel Higgins’ the name when it’s not professional … I’d like me five quid back, if’n ya don’t mind.
TODD Why?
PIRELLI Because you entered into our little wager on false pretenses, me friend … And so you might remember to be more forthright in the future, you’ll be handing over half your profits to me, share and share alike… Todd shakes his head, amused, and begins to turn away when Pirelli says:
PIRELLI … Mr. Benjamin Barker. Todd freezes. 30
INT. PIE SHOP — DAY
30 Mrs. Lovett hands Toby one of her grisly pies, he devours eagerly.
MRS. LOVETT That’s my boy, tuck in. But her attention is almost entirely on the roof above … the muffled voices …. the sound of shoes walking… Her eyes keep darting up as she chatters distractedly with Toby:
MRS. LOVETT Like to see a man with a healthy appetite. Reminds me of my dear Albert, like to gorge himself to bloatation, he did. He didn’t have your nice full head though–
TOBY To tell the truth — (he pulls off the wig which covers his own short-cropped hair) — it gets awful hot. 31
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
31 Pirelli is expansively strolling around the shop, taking it all in, savoring every second:
PIRELLI … yes, this will do very nicely … You don’t remember me. Well, why should you? I was just a down and out Irish pug you hired for a couple of weeks — sweeping up hair and the like — (He picks up one of Todd’s razors) But I remember these — And how could I ever forget you, Benjamin Barker?
PIRELLI (cont’d) I would sit right there and watch you, and dream of the day I could be a proper barber meself … You might say you were an inspiration to me. Todd glares at him.
PIRELLI So, do we have a deal, or should I run down the street for me pal Beadle Bamford? What do you say to that now, Mr. Sweeney T–? Without a word of warning– Like a thunderbolt– Todd is on him. He leaps across the shop and brutally grabs Pirelli by the neck — violently strangling him — Pirelli is surprisingly strong and puts up a desperate struggle — they thump awkwardly around the shop– 32
INT. PIE SHOP — DAY
32 Mrs. Lovett hears the muffled sounds of the struggle above. She nervously begins to shift and clang some things around as she cleans the counter, trying to cover the sound, chattering:
MRS. LOVETT My my my, always work to be done. Spic- and-span, that’s my motto. Cleanliness is next to whatever-it-is. So, ah, how did you end up with that dreadful Eyetalian?
TOBY Got me from the workhouse ‘e did. Been there since I was born. Got no mum, got nobody. A wasted soul, that’s what I am — — Oh God! He’s got an appointment with his tailor– He bolts up, clearly terrified of Pirelli–
TOBY If he’s late, he’ll blame me–!
MRS. LOVETT Wait–! But he is gone– 33
EXT. PIE SHOP — DAY
33 Toby vaults up the stairs to the barber shop– 34
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
34 Todd is standing calmly when Toby bursts in–
TOBY Signor, you got an appointment… He stops when he realizes Pirelli is nowhere to be seen.
TODD Signor Pirelli has been called away. You better run after him.
TOBY Oh no, sir. I better wait for him here or it’ll be a lashing. He’s a great one for the lashings. He moves past Todd to the large chest and sits– Only now do we see one of Pirelli’s hands protruding from the chest, dangling limply. Toby doesn’t notice it. Todd at this moment, however, does. He smiles nervously.
TODD So, hmmm, Mrs. Lovett gave you a pie, did she?
TOBY She’s a real lady. Model of all true Christian virtue. Then Pirelli’s hand … twitches. Toby doesn’t notice. Todd does, stares at it anxiously.
TODD That she is … that she is. But if I know a growing boy, there’s still room for some more pie, eh?
TOBY I’d say, sir — (pats his stomach) — An aching void. Pirelli’s hand begins to twitch more desperately now, perilously close to where Toby’s hand rests…
TODD Then why don’t you run downstairs and wait for your master there? There’ll be another pie in it for you, I’m sure… Pirelli’s hand is twitching closer to Toby’s now…
TOBY No, I should stay here.
TODD I know — why don’t you tell Mrs. Lovett I said to give you a nice big tot of gin?
TOBY Gin, sir?! Thanking you kindly, sir! You’re a Christian indeed! He races out happily and clatters down the stairs. A beat as Todd gets his breath. Then he goes to the trunk, leans down to open it, the camera follows him down and up again, when he rises– The GENTLEMAN is standing right behind him! Todd turns. The Gentleman’s face is completely impassive. He is not spectral. He does not disappear. He just stands there. Todd looks at him. Then the Gentleman’s eyes slowly move to a counter… Todd follows his look to see… His largest razor. A long beat as Todd looks at the razor. The point of no return. Todd strides to the razor and he snaps it open with a sharp, quick flick of his wrist– Then he moves to the chest and– With great ferocity he hauls Pirelli up– Pirelli’s eyes snap open– And Todd SLASHES his throat– The piercing factory whistle SCREAMS– Todd remains standing over Pirelli as the painful whistle echoes into music… We see that the Gentleman is still standing there, watching Todd…
GENTLEMAN His hands were quick, his fingers strong. It stung a little but not for long. The dashing Oxford Student is now leaning against a wall, arms folded, looking at Todd…
STUDENT And those who thought him a simple clod Were soon reconsidering under the sod… The Tourist stands by the window…
TOURIST Consigned there with a friendly prod From Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
TOURIST See your razor gleam, Sweeney, Feel how well it fits As it floats across the throats Of hypocrites. The last word echoes to silence as we cut to: A high-angle shot of the room. The ghosts are gone. Todd stands alone over Pirelli’s body. Blood dripping from his razor. Drip. Drip. Drip.
Judge Turpin lurks over the proceedings. He sits, the personification of power, very high at the bench. He glares down a wasted wretch of a BOY. The Beadle stands next to the boy.
JUDGE This is the second time, sir, that you have been brought before this bench. Though it is my earnest wish to ever temper justice with mercy, your persistent dedication to a life of crime is an abomination before God and man. He places a black cloth on his head:
JUDGE I therefore sentence you to hang by the neck until you are dead and may the Lord have mercy on your soul. The wretched boy collapses in sobs. The Beadle is pleased with the verdict. The Judge removes the black cloth and tosses it casually on his desk:
JUDGE This court is adjourned. 36
EXT. — STREET — OUTSIDE THE OLD BAILEY — DAY
36 The Judge and the Beadle walk away from the impressive edifices of the Old Bailey.
BEADLE Thank you, your Honor. Just the sentence we wanted.
JUDGE Was he guilty?
BEADLE Well, if he didn’t do it, he’s surely done something to warrant a hanging.
JUDGE What man has not?
BEADLE Sir?
JUDGE No matter — Come, walk home with me. I have news for you, my friend. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.
BEADLE Ah, sir, happy news indeed.
JUDGE Strange, though, when I offered myself to her she showed a certain … reluctance. The Beadle proceeds with exquisite and obsequious delicacy:
BEADLE Excuse me, my lord, May I request, my lord, Permission, my lord, to speak? Forgive me if I suggest, my lord, You’re looking less than your best, my lord, There’s powder upon your vest, my lord. And stubble upon your cheek, And ladies, my lord, are weak. As they round a corner, the Judge feels his chin:
JUDGE Stubble, you say? Perhaps at times I am a little overhasty with my morning ablutions…
BEADLE Fret not though, my lord, I know a place, my lord, A barber, my lord, of skill. Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord, Some eau de cologne to brace my lord And musk to enhance the chase, my lord, You’ll dazzle the girl until She bows to your every will.
JUDGE A barber, eh? Take me to him.
BEADLE I am honored, my lord. His name is Todd … Sweeney Todd. And he is the very last word in barberin’. They head off. 37
INT. PIE SHOP — DAY
37 Mrs. Lovett is pouring Toby a glass of gin, not his first. He gulps down the gin between ravenous bites of another meat pie as she nervously glances up to the ceiling, wondering what the hell is going on up there.
MRS. LOVETT You ought to slow down a bit, lad. It’ll go to your head.
TOBY Weaned on the stuff, I was. They used to give it to us at the workhouse, so’s we could sleep. Not that you’d ever want to sleep in that place, ma’am. Not with the things wot happen in the dark.
MRS. LOVETT That’s nice, dear … I think I’ll just pop in on Mr. Todd for a tick. You’ll be all right here?
TOBY Leave the bottle. She goes. 38
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
