Sweeney Todd
38 Mrs. Lovett enters. Todd is methodically cleaning his razor.
MRS. LOVETT Gawd, the lad is drinking me out of house and home, how long until Pirelli gets back?
TODD He won’t be back.
MRS. LOVETT Mr. T., you didn’t!
He casually points the razor toward the chest. She lifts the lid and sees Pirelli’s body at the bottom of the chest.
MRS. LOVETT You’re barking mad! Killing a man wot done you no harm!
TODD He recognized me from the old days. He tried to blackmail me — half my earnings.
MRS. LOVETT Oh well, that’s a different matter! For a moment there I thought you’d lost your marbles! She looks into the chest again.
MRS. LOVETT Ooooh! All that blood! Enough to make you come all over gooseflesh, ain’t it? Poor bugger. Oh, well. She starts to close the chest, then has an idea. She reaches in and rummages around the body. Pulls out Pirelli’s chatelaine purse, then drops the lid of the chest.
MRS. LOVETT Three quid! Well, waste not, want not, I always say… (she tucks the purse into her dress) … Now what are we going to do about the boy?
TODD Send him up. She stops, looks at him.
MRS. LOVETT Oh, we don’t need to worry about him, he’s a simple thing. I’ll pawn him off with some story.
TODD Send him up, woman.
MRS. LOVETT Now, Mr. T., surely one’s enough for today. Don’t want to indulge yourself, after all … (she busily starts to straighten up the room) … ‘Sides, I was thinking about hiring a lad to help around the shop, me poor knees not being what they used to be. Todd sighs and moves to his familiar post at the window:
TODD Anything you say.
MRS. LOVETT ‘Course we’ll have to stock up on the gin, the boy drinks like a Barbary sailor– Todd suddenly gasps — a great, shocking intake of breath as his whole body tenses like iron– Mrs. Lovett spins to him–
TODD The Judge. Mrs. Lovett hurries to the window– Below, they can see the Judge and the Beadle approaching. They see them exchanging a few words and then the Beadle moves off as the Judge approaches the shop– Todd whispers, his eyes blazing:
TODD Justice … Justice. Mrs. Lovett gives him a quick kiss and then very quickly leaves. A beat as Todd prepares himself. He turns from the window and looks around the shop, shifting nervously. Now that his great moment of revenge is at hand, he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. He snatches up his large razor, coils by the door, ready to attack. No. He wants to savor this. He quickly moves and puts the razor down. Finally he just stands. All his demons settling into a bizarre sort of calm. He hears the Judge’s footsteps approaching on the stairs. Then the Judge enters.
JUDGE Mr. Todd? Todd slowly turns:
TODD At your service … An honor to receive your patronage, my lord.
JUDGE You know me, sir?
TODD Who in this wide world is not familiar with the honored Judge Turpin? The Judge grunts and glances around the shop:
JUDGE These premises are hardly prepossessing and yet the Beadle tells me you are the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city.
TODD That is gracious of him, sir … (indicates for the Judge to sit) … Sit, if you please, sir. Sit. The Judge settles into the parlor chair as music begins…
TODD And what may I do for you today, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage?
JUDGE You see, sir, a man infatuate with love, Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone And lend me a more seductive tone, A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne, But first, sir, I think — a shave.
TODD The closest I ever gave. He whips a sheet over the Judge, then tucks the bib in. The Judge hums, flicking imaginary dust off the sheet; Todd whistles gaily.
JUDGE You’re in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.
TODD ‘Tis your delight, sir, catching fire From one man to the next.
JUDGE ‘Tis true, sir, love can still inspire The blood to pound, the heart leap higher.
BOTH What more, what more can man require–
JUDGE Than love, sir?
TODD More than love, sir.
JUDGE What, sir?
TODD Women.
JUDGE Ah yes, women.
TODD Pretty women. The Judge hums jauntily, Todd whistles and starts stropping his razor rhythmically. He then lathers the Judge’s face. Still whistling, Todd stands back to survey the Judge, who is now totally relaxed, eyes closed. Todd goes to his razor and picks it up, sings to it gently:
TODD Now then, my friend. Now to your purpose. Patience, enjoy it. Revenge can’t be taken in haste.
JUDGE Make haste, and if we wed, You’ll be commended, sir.
TODD My lord… And who, may it be said, Is your intended, sir?
JUDGE My ward. A shocked tremor through Todd — as the Judge closes his eyes again and settles in comfortably…
JUDGE And pretty as a rosebud. The music rises…
TODD Pretty as her mother?
JUDGE What? What was that?
TODD Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed? The music builds as he steps behind the Judge– his razor ready — we are sure the great moment has come — the music still builds — Todd finally puts the razor at the Judge’s throat– Then– With an easy flick of his wrist, he just begins to shave the Judge, as:
TODD Pretty women… Fascinating… 38 Pretty women Are a wonder. Pretty women. Sitting in the window or Standing on the stair, Something in them Cheers the air. Pretty women…
JUDGE Silhouetted…
TODD Stay within you…
JUDGE Glancing…
TODD Stay forever…
JUDGE Breathing lightly…
TODD Pretty women…
BOTH Pretty women! Blowing out their candles or Combing out their hair… They sing simultaneously:
JUDGE Then they leave… Even when they leave you And vanish, they somehow Can still remain There with you, There with you.
TODD Even when they leave, They still Are there. They’re there.
BOTH Ah, Pretty women…
TODD At their mirrors…
JUDGE In their gardens…
TODD Letter-writing…
JUDGE Flower-picking…
TODD Weather-watching…
BOTH How they make a man sing! Proof of heaven As you’re living– Pretty women, sir! The music approaches a feverish crescendo as Todd prepares to finally kill the Judge and they sing simultaneously:
JUDGE Pretty women, yes! Pretty women, sir! Pretty women! Pretty women, sir!
TODD Pretty women, here’s to Pretty women, all the Pretty women– Just as the music reaches a climax, Todd raises his arm in a huge arc and is about to slash the Judge’s throat when– Suddenly– Anthony bursts in–
ANTHONY Mr. Todd! I’ve seen Johanna! She said she’ll leave with me tonight–! The Judge jumps up, away from Todd–
JUDGE You! — There is indeed a higher power to warn me thus in time– He tears off the sheet as he advances savagely on Anthony:
JUDGE Johanna elope with you? Deceiving slut! — I’ll lock her up in some obscure retreat where neither you nor any other vile creature shall ever lay eyes on her again–! He spins with venom to Todd:
JUDGE And as for you, barber, it is all too clear what company you keep. Service them well and hold their custom — for you’ll have none of mine. He strides out. Todd stands, frozen.
ANTHONY Mr. Todd — you have to help me — I’ve talked to Johanna and–! Todd suddenly turns on him with a ferocious ROAR:
OUT! OUT, I SAY! Utterly stunned at his friend’s ferocity, Anthony backs away, leaves the shop. Music begins, very agitated, as Todd stands motionless. In shock. His mind cracking apart. Mrs. Lovett hurries in:
MRS. LOVETT All this shouting and running about, what’s happened–?
TODD I had him — and then–
MRS. LOVETT The sailor busted in, I know, I saw them both running down the street and I said– Todd interrupts wildly:
TODD I had him! His throat was bare Beneath my hand–!
MRS. LOVETT There, there, dear. Don’t fret–
TODD No, I had him! His throat was there, And he’ll never come again!
MRS. LOVETT Easy now. Hush, love, hush. I keep telling you–
TODD When?!
MRS. LOVETT What’s your rush?
TODD Why did I wait? You told me to wait! Now he’ll never come again… The music becomes ferocious as Todd’s wrenching insanity, always close to the surface, finally explodes:
TODD There’s a hole in the world Like a great black pit And it’s filled with people Who are filled with shit And the vermin of the world Inhabit it– But not for long! He suddenly looks to Mrs. Lovett — she starts back — alarmed by the pure madness in his eyes–
TODD They all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, Tell you why: Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett There are two kinds of men and only two. There’s the one staying put In his proper place And the one with his foot In the other one’s face– Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, Look at you– He suddenly lurches and grabs Mrs. Lovett tightly–
TODD No, we all deserve to die! Even you, Mrs. Lovett, Even I. Because the lives of the wicked should be– (slashes at the air violently) Made brief. For the rest of us, death Will be a relief– We all deserve to die! He clutches her to him very tightly as he suddenly keens, a howl of pure agony:
TODD And I’ll never see Johanna, No, I’ll never hug my girl to me– He hurls Mrs. Lovett away from him–
TODD Finished! We suddenly slash to– 39
EXT. STREET — DAY
39 –In Todd’s mind. We are moving with him as he stalks relentlessly, holding his razor, striding down a busy street like a tiger. The many pedestrians he passes don’t even notice him. He is invisible to them, a wolf among the sheep, as he beckons–
TODD All right! You, sir, How about a shave? Come and visit Your good friend, Sweeney–! Todd continues to stride, beckoning to another man:
TODD You, sir, too, sir– Welcome to the grave! I will have vengeance, I will have salvation! 41
EXT. ANOTHER STREET — DAY
