Sweeney Todd
INT. PIE SHOP — DAY
37 Mrs. Lovett is pouring Toby a glass of gin, not his first. He gulps down the gin between ravenous bites of another meat pie as she nervously glances up to the ceiling, wondering what the hell is going on up there.
MRS. LOVETT You ought to slow down a bit, lad. It’ll go to your head.
TOBY Weaned on the stuff, I was. They used to give it to us at the workhouse, so’s we could sleep. Not that you’d ever want to sleep in that place, ma’am. Not with the things wot happen in the dark.
MRS. LOVETT That’s nice, dear … I think I’ll just pop in on Mr. Todd for a tick. You’ll be all right here?
TOBY Leave the bottle. She goes. 38
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
38 Mrs. Lovett enters. Todd is methodically cleaning his razor.
MRS. LOVETT Gawd, the lad is drinking me out of house and home, how long until Pirelli gets back?
TODD He won’t be back.
MRS. LOVETT Mr. T., you didn’t!
He casually points the razor toward the chest. She lifts the lid and sees Pirelli’s body at the bottom of the chest.
MRS. LOVETT You’re barking mad! Killing a man wot done you no harm!
TODD He recognized me from the old days. He tried to blackmail me — half my earnings.
MRS. LOVETT Oh well, that’s a different matter! For a moment there I thought you’d lost your marbles! She looks into the chest again.
MRS. LOVETT Ooooh! All that blood! Enough to make you come all over gooseflesh, ain’t it? Poor bugger. Oh, well. She starts to close the chest, then has an idea. She reaches in and rummages around the body. Pulls out Pirelli’s chatelaine purse, then drops the lid of the chest.
MRS. LOVETT Three quid! Well, waste not, want not, I always say… (she tucks the purse into her dress) … Now what are we going to do about the boy?
TODD Send him up. She stops, looks at him.
MRS. LOVETT Oh, we don’t need to worry about him, he’s a simple thing. I’ll pawn him off with some story.
TODD Send him up, woman.
MRS. LOVETT Now, Mr. T., surely one’s enough for today. Don’t want to indulge yourself, after all … (she busily starts to straighten up the room) … ‘Sides, I was thinking about hiring a lad to help around the shop, me poor knees not being what they used to be. Todd sighs and moves to his familiar post at the window:
TODD Anything you say.
MRS. LOVETT ‘Course we’ll have to stock up on the gin, the boy drinks like a Barbary sailor– Todd suddenly gasps — a great, shocking intake of breath as his whole body tenses like iron– Mrs. Lovett spins to him–
TODD The Judge. Mrs. Lovett hurries to the window– Below, they can see the Judge and the Beadle approaching. They see them exchanging a few words and then the Beadle moves off as the Judge approaches the shop– Todd whispers, his eyes blazing:
TODD Justice … Justice. Mrs. Lovett gives him a quick kiss and then very quickly leaves. A beat as Todd prepares himself. He turns from the window and looks around the shop, shifting nervously. Now that his great moment of revenge is at hand, he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. He snatches up his large razor, coils by the door, ready to attack. No. He wants to savor this. He quickly moves and puts the razor down. Finally he just stands. All his demons settling into a bizarre sort of calm. He hears the Judge’s footsteps approaching on the stairs. Then the Judge enters.
JUDGE Mr. Todd? Todd slowly turns:
TODD At your service … An honor to receive your patronage, my lord.
JUDGE You know me, sir?
TODD Who in this wide world is not familiar with the honored Judge Turpin? The Judge grunts and glances around the shop:
JUDGE These premises are hardly prepossessing and yet the Beadle tells me you are the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city.
TODD That is gracious of him, sir … (indicates for the Judge to sit) … Sit, if you please, sir. Sit. The Judge settles into the parlor chair as music begins…
TODD And what may I do for you today, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage?
JUDGE You see, sir, a man infatuate with love, Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone And lend me a more seductive tone, A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne, But first, sir, I think — a shave.
TODD The closest I ever gave. He whips a sheet over the Judge, then tucks the bib in. The Judge hums, flicking imaginary dust off the sheet; Todd whistles gaily.
JUDGE You’re in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd.
TODD ‘Tis your delight, sir, catching fire From one man to the next.
JUDGE ‘Tis true, sir, love can still inspire The blood to pound, the heart leap higher.
BOTH What more, what more can man require–
JUDGE Than love, sir?
TODD More than love, sir.
JUDGE What, sir?
TODD Women.
JUDGE Ah yes, women.
TODD Pretty women. The Judge hums jauntily, Todd whistles and starts stropping his razor rhythmically. He then lathers the Judge’s face. Still whistling, Todd stands back to survey the Judge, who is now totally relaxed, eyes closed. Todd goes to his razor and picks it up, sings to it gently:
TODD Now then, my friend. Now to your purpose. Patience, enjoy it. Revenge can’t be taken in haste.
JUDGE Make haste, and if we wed, You’ll be commended, sir.
TODD My lord… And who, may it be said, Is your intended, sir?
JUDGE My ward. A shocked tremor through Todd — as the Judge closes his eyes again and settles in comfortably…
JUDGE And pretty as a rosebud. The music rises…
TODD Pretty as her mother?
JUDGE What? What was that?
TODD Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing. May we proceed? The music builds as he steps behind the Judge– his razor ready — we are sure the great moment has come — the music still builds — Todd finally puts the razor at the Judge’s throat– Then– With an easy flick of his wrist, he just begins to shave the Judge, as:
TODD Pretty women… Fascinating… 38 Pretty women Are a wonder. Pretty women. Sitting in the window or Standing on the stair, Something in them Cheers the air. Pretty women…
JUDGE Silhouetted…
TODD Stay within you…
JUDGE Glancing…
TODD Stay forever…
JUDGE Breathing lightly…
TODD Pretty women…
BOTH Pretty women! Blowing out their candles or Combing out their hair… They sing simultaneously:
JUDGE Then they leave… Even when they leave you And vanish, they somehow Can still remain There with you, There with you.
TODD Even when they leave, They still Are there. They’re there.
BOTH Ah, Pretty women…
TODD At their mirrors…
JUDGE In their gardens…
TODD Letter-writing…
JUDGE Flower-picking…
TODD Weather-watching…
BOTH How they make a man sing! Proof of heaven As you’re living– Pretty women, sir! The music approaches a feverish crescendo as Todd prepares to finally kill the Judge and they sing simultaneously:
JUDGE Pretty women, yes! Pretty women, sir! Pretty women! Pretty women, sir!
TODD Pretty women, here’s to Pretty women, all the Pretty women– Just as the music reaches a climax, Todd raises his arm in a huge arc and is about to slash the Judge’s throat when– Suddenly– Anthony bursts in–
ANTHONY Mr. Todd! I’ve seen Johanna! She said she’ll leave with me tonight–! The Judge jumps up, away from Todd–
JUDGE You! — There is indeed a higher power to warn me thus in time– He tears off the sheet as he advances savagely on Anthony:
JUDGE Johanna elope with you? Deceiving slut! — I’ll lock her up in some obscure retreat where neither you nor any other vile creature shall ever lay eyes on her again–! He spins with venom to Todd:
JUDGE And as for you, barber, it is all too clear what company you keep. Service them well and hold their custom — for you’ll have none of mine. He strides out. Todd stands, frozen.
ANTHONY Mr. Todd — you have to help me — I’ve talked to Johanna and–! Todd suddenly turns on him with a ferocious ROAR:
OUT! OUT, I SAY! Utterly stunned at his friend’s ferocity, Anthony backs away, leaves the shop. Music begins, very agitated, as Todd stands motionless. In shock. His mind cracking apart. Mrs. Lovett hurries in:
MRS. LOVETT All this shouting and running about, what’s happened–?
TODD I had him — and then–
MRS. LOVETT The sailor busted in, I know, I saw them both running down the street and I said– Todd interrupts wildly:
TODD I had him! His throat was bare Beneath my hand–!
MRS. LOVETT There, there, dear. Don’t fret–
TODD No, I had him! His throat was there, And he’ll never come again!
MRS. LOVETT Easy now. Hush, love, hush. I keep telling you–
TODD When?!
MRS. LOVETT What’s your rush?
TODD Why did I wait? You told me to wait! Now he’ll never come again… The music becomes ferocious as Todd’s wrenching insanity, always close to the surface, finally explodes:
TODD There’s a hole in the world Like a great black pit And it’s filled with people Who are filled with shit And the vermin of the world Inhabit it– But not for long! He suddenly looks to Mrs. Lovett — she starts back — alarmed by the pure madness in his eyes–
TODD They all deserve to die! Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, Tell you why: Because in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett There are two kinds of men and only two. There’s the one staying put In his proper place And the one with his foot In the other one’s face– Look at me, Mrs. Lovett, Look at you– He suddenly lurches and grabs Mrs. Lovett tightly–
TODD No, we all deserve to die! Even you, Mrs. Lovett, Even I. Because the lives of the wicked should be– (slashes at the air violently) Made brief. For the rest of us, death Will be a relief– We all deserve to die! He clutches her to him very tightly as he suddenly keens, a howl of pure agony:
TODD And I’ll never see Johanna, No, I’ll never hug my girl to me– He hurls Mrs. Lovett away from him–
TODD Finished! We suddenly slash to– 39
EXT. STREET — DAY
39 –In Todd’s mind. We are moving with him as he stalks relentlessly, holding his razor, striding down a busy street like a tiger. The many pedestrians he passes don’t even notice him. He is invisible to them, a wolf among the sheep, as he beckons–
TODD All right! You, sir, How about a shave? Come and visit Your good friend, Sweeney–! Todd continues to stride, beckoning to another man:
TODD You, sir, too, sir– Welcome to the grave! I will have vengeance, I will have salvation! 41
EXT. ANOTHER STREET — DAY
41 Todd continues to stride, beckoning to another man:
TODD Who, sir? You, sir? No one’s in the chair– Come on, come on, Sweeney’s waiting! I want you bleeders! 42
EXT. ANOTHER STREET — DAY
42 Todd continues to stride, beckoning to another man:
TODD You, sir — anybody! Gentlemen, now don’t be shy! Not one man, no, Nor ten men, Nor a hundred Can assuage me– I will have you! 43
EXT. ANOTHER STREET — DAY
43 Todd continues to prowl…
TODD And I will get him back Even as he gloats. In the meantime I’ll practice On less honorable throats– 44
EXT. ANOTHER STREET — DAY
44 Todd suddenly falls to his knees, keening in anguish–
TODD And my Lucy lies in ashes And I’ll never see my girl again, But the work waits, I’m alive at last And I’m full of JOOOOOOY!! He raises his razor high on the soaring last note as we pull back … our view is suddenly obscured by a strange, frenzied fluttering of black wings … We continue to pull back … We discover the black wings are pigeons, thousands of them, flying up in a great cloud… We continue to pull back to finally discover that Todd is kneeling in the heart of a church square… Empty but for him. As his cry ends we slash back to– 45
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
45 — Todd is kneeling, sweat pouring through his clothes, panting for air. Mrs. Lovett stands, looking down at him intently.
MRS. LOVETT That’s all very well, but what are we going to do about — — the dear departed? Todd remains kneeling, motionless. She goes to him, firm:
MRS. LOVETT Listen! Do you hear me? Get a hold of yourself! She slaps his cheek — he looks up at her, barely seeing her.
MRS. LOVETT Oh, you great useless thing, come on– She hauls him up and drags him out… 46
INT. PIE SHOP — DAY
46 She pulls him in.
MRS. LOVETT Sit down. He thumps down, still in his own dark world. She quickly glances around for Toby and then goes into her parlor…
47
INT. PARLOR — DAY
47 She discovers Toby is asleep on the sofa before the fire. She quickly snatches up a bottle of gin from the sideboard and returns to the pie shop… 48
INT. PIE SHOP DAY
48 She pours Todd a tumbler of gin, hands it to him:
MRS. LOVETT There, drink it down — all the way — that’s right … … Now, we got a body molderin’ away upstairs, what do you intend we should do about that?
TODD Later on, when it’s dark, we’ll take him to some secret place and bury him.
MRS. LOVETT Well, yes, of course, we could do that. I don’t suppose he’s got any relatives going to come poking around looking for him… A chord of music. A beat. An idea. He looks at her uncomprehendingly.
MRS. LOVETT Well, you know me, sometimes bright ideas just pop right into my head, and I keep thinking… Seems a downright shame…
TODD Shame?
MRS. LOVETT Seems an awful waste… Such a nice plump frame Wot’s-his-name Has… Had… Has… Nor it can’t be traced. Business needs a lift– Debts to be erased– Think of it as thrift, As a gift… If you get my drift… (Todd has no idea what she is talking about) No? (She sighs) Seems an awful waste. I mean, With the price of meat what it is, When you get it, If you get it– Todd suddenly understands:
TODD Ah!
MRS. LOVETT Good, you got it. Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop. Business never better, using only Pussycats and toast. And a pussy’s good for maybe six or Seven at the most. And I’m sure they can’t compare As far as taste–
TODD Mrs. Lovett, What a charming notion, The music builds as they sing simultaneously:
TODD Eminently practical and yet Appropriate as always. Mrs. Lovett, how I’ve lived without you All these years I’ll never know! How delectable! Also undetectable. How choice! How rare!
MRS. LOVETT Well, it does seem a Waste… It’s an idea… Think about it… Lots of other gentlemen’ll Soon be coming for a shave, Won’t they? Think of All them Pies! A triumphant waltz theme begins:
TODD For what’s the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT What, Mr. Todd, What, Mr. Todd, What is that sound?
TODD Those crunching noises pervading the air?
MRS. LOVETT Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes, Mr. Todd, Yes, all around–
TODD It’s man devouring man, my dear, They sing simultaneously:
TODD And who are we To deny it in here?
MRS. LOVETT Then who are we To deny it in here? Music continues under:
TODD Ah, these are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for. She goes to the counter and comes back with an imaginary pie:
MRS. LOVETT Here we are now, hot out of the oven… She holds the imaginary pie out to him with a sly and wicked smile.
TODD What is that?
MRS. LOVETT It’s priest. Have a little priest.
TODD Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT Sir, it’s too good, At least. Then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh, So it’s pretty fresh.
TODD Awful lot of fat.
MRS. LOVETT Only where it sat.
TODD Haven’t you got poet Or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT No, you see the trouble with poet Is, how do you know it’s Deceased? Try the priest.
TODD Mmm. Heavenly.
MRS. LOVETT Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but not as bland as curate, either. Mrs. Lovett presents another imaginary pie:
MRS. LOVETT Lawyer’s rather nice.
TODD If it’s for a price.
MRS. LOVETT Order something else, though, to follow, Since no one should swallow It twice.
TODD Anything that’s lean.
MRS. LOVETT Well, then, if you’re British and loyal, You might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway, it’s clean. Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it’s been.
TODD (looking past her to imaginary oven) Is that squire On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT Mercy no, sir, Look closer, You’ll notice it’s grocer.
TODD Looks thicker. More like vicar.
MRS. LOVETT No, it has to be grocer — it’s green. Todd laughs as the glorious waltz theme returns:
TODD The history of the world, my love–
MRS. LOVETT Save a lot of graves, Do a lot of relatives favors…
TODD –Is those below serving those up above.
MRS. LOVETT Everybody shaves, So there should be plenty of flavors…
TODD How gratifying for once to know–
BOTH (indicating barber shop above) –That those above will serve those down below! The music continues under:
MRS. LOVETT Since marine doesn’t appeal to you, how about rear admiral?
TODD Too salty. I prefer general.
MRS. LOVETT With or without his privates? — “With” is extra. Todd chortles as Mrs. Lovett offers another pie with a particular, flamboyant panache:
TODD What is that?
MRS. LOVETT It’s fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd’s pie peppered With actual shepherd On top. And I’ve just begun. Here’s a politician — so oily It’s served with a doily– Have one?
TODD Put it on a bun. (She looks at him quizzically) Well, you never know if it’s going to run.
MRS. LOVETT Try the friar. Fried, it’s drier.
TODD No, the clergy is really Too coarse and too mealy.
MRS. LOVETT Then actor– That’s compacter.
TODD Yes, and always arrives overdone. (he is suddenly dark and purposeful) I’ll come again when you Have Judge on the menu… The music vamps deliciously as:
MRS. LOVETT True, we don’t have Judge — yet — but would you settle for the next best thing?
TODD What’s that? She offers him a butcher’s cleaver:
MRS. LOVETT Executioner. He takes the cleaver, feels the heft of it. Feels good. Then he picks up her wooden rolling pin, hands it to her, as the music builds into the triumphant waltz:
TODD Have charity towards the world, my pet–
MRS. LOVETT Yes, yes, I know, my love–
TODD We’ll take the customers that we can get.
MRS. LOVETT High-born and low, my love.
TODD We’ll not discriminate great from small. No, we’ll serve anyone–
MRS. LOVETT We’ll serve anyone–
BOTH And to anyone At all! The music builds to a climax as they joyously brandish their “weapons. “
49
INT. JOHANNA’S ROOM — EVENING
49 Small, white hands … removing some clothes from a drawer … putting them into a portmanteau … locking the case… Johanna, wearing traveling clothes, is packing to leave when a voice surprises her:
JUDGE So it’s true. She turns. The Judge stands in the doorway.
JOHANNA Sir … A gentlemen knocks before entering a lady’s room.
JUDGE Indeed he does … But I see no lady. He enters, dangerously quiet. And terrifically hurt.
JUDGE I told myself the sailor was lying … I told myself this was a cruel fiction … That my Johanna would never betray me. Never hurt me so. He moves toward her. She stands her ground.
JOHANNA Sir … I will leave this place.
JUDGE I think that only appropriate. Since you no longer find my company to your liking, madam, we shall provide you with new lodgings. He stands very close to her. Still she holds her ground.
JUDGE Until this moment I have spared the rod … And the ungrateful child has broken my heart. Now you will learn discipline… The large form of the Beadle fills the doorway. She glances to him, disquieted.
JUDGE When you have learned to appreciate what you have, perhaps we shall meet again. Until then … Think on your sins. He nods to the Beadle — the Beadle surges forward and grabs Johanna brutally– She screams and fights like a tiger — to no avail– The Beadle covers her mouth with one of his huge hands and hauls her out– 50
EXT. TURPIN’S MANSION — EVENING
50 Anthony is racing toward the front of mansion when he sees– A hansom cab is just pulling away — Johanna’s terrified face looking at him through the window–
JOHANNA! Anthony sees the Beadle pulling her away from the window as the carriage clatters off– Judge Turpin stands on the steps of the mansion — Anthony goes to him in a murderous rage:
ANTHONY Where are you taking her?! Tell me or I swear by God–! The Judge spins and roars — a hellish howl that echoes–
JUDGE WOULD YOU KILL ME, BOY?! HERE I STAND! Anthony’s eyes burn into the Judge — but he is no killer. He turns and races after the hansom cab. It rounds a corner and is gone. The Judge watches as Anthony pursues the cab, disappearing around the corner. And we fade to… 51
EXT. FLEET STREET — DAY
51 …The face of the Beggar Woman. She sits, crouched on her haunches, peering up from under her few greasy locks of hair. She is watching something intently. A few pedestrians move quickly down the sidewalk past her, excited. They chatter back and forth eagerly… The Beggar Woman uncoils and follows… And we finally see what the Beggar Woman has been watching so intently… 52
EXT. PIE SHOP — DAY
52 Mrs. Lovett’s wretched establishment has been transformed! She has created a modest outdoor eating garden with tables, surrounded by glowing Chinese lanterns. A fresh coat of paint, a few bushes in pots and birds in cages add to the feeling of upward mobility. A new sign hangs proudly over the entrance to the pie shop: “MRS. LOVETT’S WORLD FAMOUS MEAT PIES!” And then in smaller letters: “LIKE MOTHER USED TO MAKE.” The eating garden is already crowded, the benches at the tables are filled and other customers stand and mill about. All eating, eating, eating… …The most delicious looking meat pies you could ever imagine. Crispy crust. Thick, luxurious gravy. Tart and tangy meat. The customers take great, hungry mouthfuls; the steaming gravy oozing down greedy faces. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. The Beggar Women stands across the street, ravenously hungry. She finally gets the nerve to approach when– Toby — wearing a spiffy new outfit with apron — bursts from the shop and circulates through the customers:
TOBY Ladies and gentlemen, May I have your attention, perlease? Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell? Yes they are, I can tell… He moves through the greedily eating customers in the outdoor garden and toward the street as:
TOBY Well, ladies and gentlemen, That aroma enriching the breeze Is like nothing compared to its succulent source, As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course. He arrives at the street and drums up some more business:
TOBY Ladies and gentlemen, You can’t imagine the rapture in store– Just inside of this door! There you’ll sample Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies, Savory and sweet pies, As you’ll see. You who eat pies, Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies Conjure up the treat pies Used to be! Just then Mrs. Lovett sweeps from the pie shop with a tray of hot, steaming pies. Like her shop, she has been transformed as well. She wears her somewhat gauche notion of a “fancy dress.” Buckets of decolletage. And her hair has been dyed a rather unique aubergine color.
MRS. LOVETT Toby!
TOBY Coming! ‘Scuse me…
MRS. LOVETT (indicating a beckoning customer) Ale there!
TOBY Right, mum!
MRS. LOVETT Quick, now! The customers suddenly exclaim their joy through awkward mouthfuls of pie:
CUSTOMERS God, that’s good! Toby scurries inside to get a jug of ale, whisks back out and starts filling tankards as Mrs. Lovett circulates grandly. She is a bundle of activity — serving pies, collecting money, giving orders, addressing the patrons individually and with equal buoyant insincerity:
MRS. LOVETT Nice to see you, dearie… How have you been keeping?… Cor, me bones is weary! Toby–! One for the gentleman… Hear the birdies cheeping– Helps to keep it cheery… She spots the Beggar Woman approaching and responds with unusual ferocity:
MRS. LOVETT Toby! Throw the old woman out!
CUSTOMERS God, that’s good! Toby shoos the Beggar Woman away, but she soon comes skulking back.
MRS. LOVETT What’s your pleasure, dearie?… No, we don’t cut slices… Cor, me eyes are bleary!… (As Toby is about to pour for a drunken customer) Toby! None for the gentleman!… I could up me prices– I’m a little leery… Business Couldn’t be better, though–
CUSTOMERS God, that’s good!
MRS. LOVETT Knock on wood. She does. 53
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
53 Music continues as Todd works busily. Sawing, drilling, screwing, hammering. Doing something we cannot see to his barber chair. Making adjustments, tinkering, building, feverish. Happy. 54
EXT. PIE SHOP — DAY
54 Mrs. Lovett continues to circulate:
MRS. LOVETT What’s your pleasure, dearie? Oops! I beg your pardon! Just me hands is smeary– (Spotting a freeloader trying to sneak out without paying) Toby! Run for the gentleman! Toby catches him, collects the money, as Mrs. Lovett turns to another customer:
MRS. LOVETT Don’t you love a garden? Always makes me teary… (Looking back at the freeloader) Must be one them foreigners–
CUSTOMERS God, that’s good that is delicious!
MRS. LOVETT What’s my secret? Frankly, dear — forgive my candor– Family secret, All to do with herbs. Things like being Careful with your coriander, That’s what makes the gravy grander–! The customers are getting more rabid now — stuffing in the gorgeous meat pies in great fistfuls–
CUSTOMERS More hot pies! More hot! More pies! 55
INT. BARBER SHOP — DAY
55 Music continues as Todd makes the final adjustments to his chair. He stands back. Seems delighted with the results of his tinkering. The ratty old parlor chair has been transformed into a sleek, Victorian barber chair — with unique refinements. He leaves the barber shop… 56
EXT. PIE SHOP — DAY
56 Todd stands at the top of the stairs, watching the street hungrily. As, below, Mrs. Lovett smiles to another customer:
MRS. LOVETT Incidentally, dearie, You know Mrs. Mooney. Sales’ve been so dreary– (She spots the Beggar Woman again) Toby! (Continuing to the customer, about Mrs. Mooney) –Poor thing is penniless. (Indicating Beggar Woman to Toby) What about that loony? (To the customer as Toby shoos the Beggar Woman away again) Lookin’ sort of beery– Oh, well, got her comeuppance– (Hawklike, to a rising customer) And that’ll be thruppence — and
CUSTOMERS God that’s good that is de have you
MRS. LOVETT So she should.
CUSTOMERS Licious ever tasted smell such Oh my God what more that’s pies good!
TOBY Eat them slow and Feel the crust, how thin I (she) rolled it! Eat them slow, ‘cos Every one’s a prize! Eat them slow, ‘cos That’s the lot and now we’ve sold it! She hangs up a “Sold Out” sign.
TOBY Come again tomorrow–! She spots a man in need of a shave approaching:
MRS. LOVETT Hold it–
CUSTOMERS More hot pies!
MRS. LOVETT Bless my eyes–! She sees the man going up to the barber shop. Todd is still standing at the top of the stairs. He smiles secretly to Mrs. Lovett as he ushers the man in.
MRS. LOVETT Fresh supplies! The man goes into the barber shop as she happily takes down the “Sold Out” sign and turns again to the customers:
MRS. LOVETT How about it, dearie? Be here in a twinkling! Just confirms me theory– Toby–! God watches over us. Didn’t have an inkling… Positively eerie…
TOBY Is that a pie Fit for a king, A wondrous sweet And most delectable Thing? You see, ma’am, why There is no meat pie–
CUSTOMERS Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum! Mrs. Lovett then spots the Beggar Woman approaching again, she spins to Toby with truly shocking viciousness:
MRS. LOVETT Toby! Throw the old woman out! Mrs. Lovett watches intently as Toby leads the Beggar Woman away. The Customers, meanwhile, are building to a pure frenzy of mastication — chewing and gulping and snapping at the heavenly pies:
CUSTOMERS God, that’s good that is de have you Licious ever tasted smell such Oh my God what perfect more that’s Pies such flavor God, that’s good!! The music comes to a rousing conclusion as Mrs. Lovett stands at the door to her shop. Triumphant. 57
INT. BARBER SHOP — NIGHT
57 Todd is alone. He sits in the barber chair, smoking a pipe. He is holding an old Daguerreotype; creased, stained and bleached-out. The image shows his wife, Lucy, smiling and holding Baby Johanna. The child’s features are almost completely obscured by a stain on the picture. He looks at it deeply. Then church bells echo in the distance… 58
