Into the Woods
EXT. ROAD TO KING’S CASTLE/KING’S CASTLE – A NEW DAY
GOLDEN ROSE PETALS fill the air, swirling across the screen. PULLING BACK we see that the petals are being thrown by CHEERING SUBJECTS who toss more into the air as they clamor to catch a glimpse of CINDERELLA and her PRINCE on their wedding day. MUSIC. CINDERELLA’S carriage resplendent in gold drawn by black stallions passes. She sits demurely smiling as her PRINCE plays to the PASSERS-BY. This comes easily to him.
BAKER (V.O.) And it came to pass, all that seemed wrong was now right. The Witch succeeded in reversing her mother’s curse. Cinderella finally stopped running from her Prince. CINDERELLA’S POV on the crowd. She sees JACK and his MOTHER waving; JACK’S MOTHER is over- dressed in brand new clothes including a ridiculous “fascinator” hat.
BAKER (V.O.) Jack was reunited with his beloved cow and his mother could now dress in the best a golden egg could buy. Cinderella now sees the BAKER and his WIFE standing amongst the crowd, the WIFE holding their new BABY BOY.
BAKER (V.O.) And the Baker and his Wife were proud parents of a strapping baby boy. The WIFE shows her the BABY.
WIFE (calling to her) Thanks for the slipper. The carriage arrives at the entrance to the castle. As the PRINCE and CINDERELLA step from their carriage they are met by cheers. The STEPFAMILY awaits the married couple. The beaming STEPMOTHER with her DAUGHTERS who are now wearing dark glasses, holding canes and looking rather glum. RAPUNZEL stands with her PRINCE. The CROWD ROARS as CINDERELLA and her PRINCE wave. The STEWARD takes up a large speaking trumpet and the CROWD quiets.
STEWARD Let us cheer the newlyweds as they embark on their happy bliss today, and
BAKER (V.O.) And so with the kingdom filled with joy, those who deserved to were destined to live happily ever…
Suddenly the earth SHAKES with a mighty force, tossing CINDERELLA and her PRINCE (mid-kiss), along with their ATTENDANTS and the entire CROWD to the ground. A piece of the CASTLE comes CRASHING DOWN. Chaos ensues. JACK’S MOTHER stands up and looks around. No sign of JACK.
JACK’S MOTHER Jack? Jack…? ANGLE ON BAKER and his WIFE.
(STUNNED) Are you alright?
WIFE I think so.
BAKER And the baby?
WIFE Yes, he’s fine. There is another AFTERSHOCK. ANGLE ON RAPUNZEL. She is spooked by the commotion and runs off through the crowd and disappears.
STEWARD (speaking into the
HORN) Attention! Attention! Let there be no panic. NO PANIC! The Royal Prince wishes to address his loyal subjects. Attention! The R-PRINCE searches the crowd for RAPUNZEL. Those who haven’t fled, quiet and gather around. The C-PRINCE takes the horn.
C’S PRINCE There’s no need for worry. It was an earthquake in a far-off quadrant of our kingdom. Nothing to fear at all. As many of you know, we had another little shaker just days ago. I will personally investigate the disturbance. Now everyone, back to your villages, and on with your lives!
EXT. KINGDOM – DAY
A dense mist settles across the kingdom. In the distance a beanstalk stretches up to the sky. C’S PRINCE and his RETINUE gallop away from the destroyed castle into the woods.
BAKER (V.O.) But as they made their way back into the woods, their familiar paths were nowhere to be found and their lives were about to take an unexpected turn.
EXT. WOODS – FLOWERED PATH – DAY
The BAKER and his WIFE are walking down a path — or the remnants of a path.
WIFE What’s happened? Everything’s so different. They discover LRRH sitting on her suitcase in what was once a lush area, now trampled and broken.
BAKER Hello, little one. Are you alright? What are you doing here? With a suitcase?
LRRH I’m moving in with Granny. Our whole village collapsed. I couldn’t find my mother anywhere. And now I can’t find my Granny’s cottage.
BAKER What do you mean?
LRRH I went down the dell, and I didn’t recognize anything. There was no path. (getting worked up) Where’s the stream? Where’s the bridge? Where’s Granny?
WIFE Calm down.
BAKER We can help you find Granny’s without the path.
WIFE Yes. The WIFE is exhausted. She hands the BABY to the BAKER.
WIFE (CONT’D) Please take him for a few moments. The BAKER is clearly uncomfortable holding the BABY. They continue walking. The BABY begins to cry.
BAKER Why does he always cry when I hold him?
WIFE You needn’t hold him as if he was so fragile. The BABY wails. The BAKER hands the bundle back.
BAKER He doesn’t want me. He wants his mother!
WIFE I can’t take care of him all of the time.
BAKER I’ll take care of him — when he’s older… They hear COMMOTION in the distance.
WIFE Who might that be?
BAKER It’s the Steward and the royal family.
EXT. WOODS – TALL TREES – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Through a thick haze, the BAKER sees the STEWARD, the STEPFAMILY and a few SERVANTS carrying trunks and tending to the blind, hobbling STEPSISTERS. The BAKER makes his way to them with his WIFE and LRRH in tow.
BAKER What brings you into the woods?
STEWARD The castle has been destroyed.
WIFE No!
STEPMOTHER The kingdom is under attack.
BAKER What is the Royal family going to do?
STEWARD I have no idea! I don’t make policy. I just carry it out.
WIFE (to the Baker) I think it best we get back to the village. We’ll take the girl with us. She holds out a hand for LRRH.
WIFE (CONT’D) You come with us. LRRH takes her hand. But then the ground begins to shake. A frightening and increasingly loud crunching noise. They fight for their footing. The STEPFAMILY drop their belongings and rush to each other. The BAKER puts his arm around his WIFE. Everyone’s faces fill with terror as a huge shadow engulfs them.
WIFE (CONT’D) It’s a giant!
BAKER A giant woman! Through the trees we see the furious face of a female GIANT. We never see her in her entirety — but the volume of her voice matches her size.
GIANT Where is the lad who killed my husband?
STEWARD There is no lad here!
BAKER We haven’t seen him. The WITCH, who has slipped in behind the group, comes forward startling everyone and moves directly to the GIANT.
WITCH We’ll get him for you right away. Don’t move! LRRH races past the WITCH and brandishes her knife.
LRRH It was you who destroyed our house – not an earthquake.
GIANT And who destroyed my house? I want him! A great bellow that makes the trees shake. The WITCH moves towards the STEPSISTERS.
WITCH Would you like a blind girl instead?
FLORINDA and LUCINDA scream. The STEPMOTHER takes them in her embrace.
STEPMOTHER How dare you? She wants the boy! And then JACK’S MOTHER arrives. Innocently, she asks the worst question possible.
JACK’S MOTHER Jack! Has anyone seen my Jack? He ran off again and I’ve been… Everyone stares at her. JACK’S MOTHER does a slow take looking up and discovering the GIANT.
STEWARD (meaning the GIANT) She’s looking for him too.
GIANT Give him to me! The GIANT suddenly reaches down. They all quickly duck out of the way. JACK’S MOTHER runs forward to confront the GIANT.
JACK’S MOTHER Jack is just a lad! We had no food to eat so he sold his beloved cow in exchange for magic beans.
GIANT The boy – I want the boy!
JACK’S MOTHER You leave my boy alone!
GIANT You’re making me very angry! The GIANT stomps her foot in anger.
GIANT (CONT’D) I’m waiting! They all lose their balance. The STEWARD uses his staff to hold JACK’S MOTHER back, trying to silence her.
STEWARD Don’t make her angry, woman, or you’ll get us all killed! But JACK’S MOTHER is in full flow, facing up to the GIANT.
(LOSING CONTROL) Flouncing through our kingdom with your great big clodhopppers, destroying everything in your path.
STEWARD Stop!
BAKER Don’t upset the Giant!
JACK’S MOTHER You big bully! I’ll hide my son and you’ll never find him. You’ll never, ever…
STEWARD Get back woman! The STEWARD forcefully pulls JACK’S MOTHER behind him. She trips and falls.
STEWARD (CONT’D) (to the GIANT) The boy is hiding in the steeple tower. You can find him there.
STEPMOTHER Yes, that’s true.
FLORINDA LUCINDA Yes. The steeple tower. We saw him there!
GIANT If he is not, I will return tonight and find you! All of you! The GIANT takes off, the power of her footsteps forcing everyone to hold on to one another for safety. The BAKER’S WIFE sees JACK’S MOTHER, who is still lying on the ground. She goes to her.
WIFE Look! What have you done to her?
STEWARD I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was just thinking of the greater good. The BAKER steps forward, taking charge.
BAKER Listen everyone. If we’re going to get through this we have to stick together.
(SINCERE) Some people are cut out to battle giants, and others are not. I don’t have the constitution. And as long as I can be of no help, I’m going to hide. (to her retinue) Let’s go! (she turns back) Everything will work out fine in the end.
WITCH Not always. The STEPFAMILY leaves.
WITCH (CONT’D) I don’t know where they think they’re going. The giant’s already destroyed the entire village. Only thing left of my garden are these beans.
LRRH What are we going to do now?
WITCH We have no choice. Find the boy and give her what she wants.
LRRH But if we do, she’ll kill Jack.
WITCH And if we don’t she’ll kill half the kingdom! She rushes back into the woods.
JACK’S MOTHER stirs and sits up.
JACK’S MOTHER Promise me you won’t let them get Jack. Promise!
BAKER Okay, I promise.
EXT. WOODS – RAPUNZEL’S TOWER – DAY
We follow the WITCH as she makes her way in search of RAPUNZEL. She comes to their tower, now fallen. Sitting upon a pile of rubble, a bereft RAPUNZEL clutches her cape as she cries.
WITCH Rapunzel! You’re safe! Thank goodness.
RAPUNZEL Who are you?
WITCH Surely you remember?
(PLEASED) Of course you don’t recognize me!
(STUNNED) Mother?
WITCH This is who I truly am, my dear. Now you don’t have to be embarrassed by me. You must come with me. There’s a Giant in the land. She moves towards RAPUNZEL — but suddenly the R-PRINCE rides up on his white steed. He jumps off and rushes to RAPUNZEL.
R’S PRINCE My darling. Are you all right? Why did you run off?
RAPUNZEL I was afraid.
R-PRINCE You never have to be afraid. Now come with me.
WITCH She’s not going with you!
(TO RAPUNZEL) You will come with me. RAPUNZEL pulls away and turns on the WITCH.
RAPUNZEL I will not come with you!
WITCH Then you leave me no choice. The WITCH pulls RAPUNZEL behind her and tries to cast a spell on R’S PRINCE. Nothing. She tries again. Still nothing. The PRINCE takes notice of the Witch.
R’S PRINCE You! The one who blinded me.
(ACCUSING) And locked me in a tower.
(SWEETLY) To protect you.
RAPUNZEL …and then banished me to an island — in the middle of a swamp!
WITCH I was just trying to be a good mother!
(URGING HER) Rapunzel… RAPUNZEL takes one look at her MOTHER then moves to the
PRINCE.
WITCH Rapunzel, no! You will never be safe with him.
RAPUNZEL Take me away from here. R-PRINCE pulls RAPUNZEL up onto his horse.
WITCH No! Rapunzel!
RAPUNZEL Don’t you understand? I never want to see you again. Ever! ANGLE ON THE WITCH watching RAPUNZEL ride into the woods.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, / CHILDREN
WON’T LISTEN. / NO MATTER WHAT YOU
KNOW, / CHILDREN REFUSE / TO LEARN.
GUIDE THEM ALONG THE WAY, / STILL THEY
DON’T LISTEN. / CHILDREN CAN ONLY GROW /
FROM SOMETHING YOU LOVE / TO SOMETHING
YOU LOSE…
EXT. WOODS – TALL TREES – DUSK
At first, we just see TREES.
BAKER (O.S.) BAKER’S WIFE (O.S.)
Jack! Jack!
LRRH (O.S.) Jack! Then the BAKER, the BAKER’S WIFE and LRRH appear, still looking for JACK. They come to a halt.
BAKER We’re never going to find him.
WIFE We should fan out. It’ll increase our chances.
BAKER No. You can’t be on your own.
WIFE I’ll be all right.
BAKER What if we get lost?
WIFE We’ll count our steps from right here.
LRRH I’ll go, too.
WIFE No. You stay with the baby. The WIFE hands LRRH the baby and sits her down.
BAKER (pulling her aside) You would leave our son with her?
WIFE Yes. He’s asleep. He’ll be safe with the girl.
(ASSUMING MATURITY) I am very capable of caring for the baby.
WIFE See?
BAKER But what if the Giant comes back…
WIFE What if, what if! Five hundred paces. Go! The WIFE turns and starts walking.
WIFE (CONT’D) One, two… The BAKER stops her. He unties his SCARF.
BAKER Wait! Take this. It might be cold.
The BAKER wraps his scarf around her neck and looks at her, reluctant to let her go alone. The WIFE turns away and begins to count her steps as she walks off. The BAKER goes off in the opposite direction.
(OVERLAPPING) One…two…three…four…
EXT. WOODS – ROOT HOLLOW – DUSK
The PRINCE is watering his horse in a GIANT footprint. The WIFE enters counting.
WIFE One eighty-one…one eighty-two… one eighty-three… one eighty-four… (looks up; startled;
(BOWS) Hello, Your Royal Highness.
C’S PRINCE Hello.
WIFE You must be here to slay the Giant.
C’S PRINCE The Giant?
WIFE Yes. Surely you’ve heard there is a giant in our midst.
(BEAT) Not an earthquake…
C’S PRINCE Of course. A giant.
WIFE Yes, it’s a lady giant. Unusual, huh?
C’S PRINCE I should think. And why are you alone in the woods?
WIFE I came with my husband. We were … well you see … it’s a long story.
C’S PRINCE He would let you roam alone in the woods?
WIFE No, actually it was my choice.
C’S PRINCE How brave.
WIFE Brave?
C’S PRINCE Yes./ ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE
WOODS. / MAY I KISS YOU? / ANY MOMENT WE
COULD BE CRUSHED.
DON’T FEEL RUSHED.
He kisses her. She succumbs for a moment, then pulls away.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS, / WHAT AM I DOING
HERE? / I’M IN THE WRONG STORY.
He goes in for another kiss and she pulls away once more.
WIFE (CONT’D) Wait one moment, please! We can’t do this! You have a Princess!
C’S PRINCE Well, yes, I do.
WIFE And I have a…baker.
C’S PRINCE Of course, you’re right. How foolish./
FOOLISHNESS CAN HAPPEN IN THE WOODS. /
ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE– / LET YOUR
HESITATIONS BE HUSHED.
ANY MOMENT, BIG OR SMALL, / IS A
MOMENT, AFTER ALL. / SEIZE THE MOMENT,
SKIES MAY FALL / ANY MOMENT.
He kisses her again.
(STEPPING BACK) But this is not right!
RIGHT AND WRONG DON’T MATTER IN THE
WOODS, / ONLY FEELINGS. / LET US MEET
THE MOMENT UNBLUSHED. / LIFE IS OFTEN
SO UNPLEASANT– / YOU MUST KNOW THAT,
AS A PEASANT– / BEST TO TAKE THE
MOMENT PRESENT / AS A PRESENT FOR THE
MOMENT.
As the PRINCE takes her into his arms, we PAN UP to see CINDERELLA’S BIRDS in the branches looking down at them.
EXT. WOODS – C-MOTHER’S GRAVE – DUSK
We TRACK with the BAKER before he comes upon CINDERELLA crying at what’s left of her MOTHER’S GRAVESTONE and tree.
BAKER Four eighty two… four eighty three…
(BEAT) Excuse me, ma’am. Have you seen a boy… (notices she is
CRYING) I’m sorry, may I be of some service? She looks to the BAKER and immediately turns her head for fear she will be recognized.
CINDERELLA The tree has fallen. Mother’s grave, destroyed.
(CONFUSED) Oh. I’m sorry.
CINDERELLA I shouldn’t complain. I’m sure others have suffered worse after the earthquake.
BAKER Earthquake? It’s no earthquake — there’s a giant terrorizing the kingdom!
CINDERELLA Well, I’m sure the Prince will see to it that the Giant is rid from our land.
BAKER Hah, the Prince? No doubt he’s off somewhere seducing some young maiden.
CINDERELLA (She turns to him) What?
BAKER You look just like the Princess — but dirty. Oh no, you are the Princess! He drops to his knees and bows.
CINDERELLA Please. Please… Get up! I’m not a princess here.
BAKER I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you.
CINDERELLA I had to disguise myself. I’m not permitted to leave the palace unescorted. CINDERELLA looks away towards the wreckage of her mother’s grave.
BAKER If you’d like you can come with me. You will be safe in our company. CINDERELLA thinks for a moment, then nods.
CINDERELLA Thank you.
BAKER This way.
EXT. WOODS – ROOT HOLLOW – DUSK
The C-PRINCE is wrapped in an embrace with the WIFE. He suddenly breaks away.
C’S PRINCE I must leave you. She looks at him confused. He walks over to his horse and mounts it.
C’S PRINCE (CONT’D) Now I must go off to slay a giant. I shall not forget you. How brave you are to be alone in the woods. And how alive you’ve made me feel. And just like that, he rides off leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.
WIFE What was that?/ WAS THAT ME?/ WAS THAT
HIM? / DID A PRINCE REALLY KISS ME? /
AND KISS ME? / AND KISS ME? / AND DID I
KISS HIM BACK?
WAS IT WRONG? / AM I MAD? / IS THAT
ALL? / DOES HE MISS ME? / WAS HE
SUDDENLY / GETTING BORED WITH ME?
WAKE UP! STOP DREAMING. / STOP PRANCING
ABOUT THE WOODS. / IT’S NOT BESEEMING. /
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE WOODS?
CHILD, BACK TO HUSBAND, / NO ONE LIVES
IN THE WOODS. / THERE ARE VOWS, THERE
ARE TIES, / THERE ARE NEEDS, THERE ARE
STANDARDS, / THERE ARE SHOULDN’TS AND
SHOULDS.
(she stops for a
WHY NOT BOTH INSTEAD? / THERE’S THE
ANSWER, IF YOU’RE CLEVER: / HAVE A
CHILD FOR WARMTH / AND A BAKER FOR
BREAD, / AND A PRINCE FOR WHATEVER– /
NEVER! / IT’S THESE WOODS.
She begins retracing her steps.
FACE THE FACTS, FIND THE BOY, / JOIN
THE GROUP, STOP THE GIANT, / JUST GET
OUT OF THESE WOODS. / WAS THAT HIM? YES
IT WAS. / WAS THAT ME? NO, IT WASN’T, /
JUST A TRICK OF THE WOODS.
JUST A MOMENT, / ONE PECULIAR PASSING
MOMENT…
MUST IT ALL BE EITHER LESS OR MORE, /
EITHER PLAIN OR GRAND? / IS IT ALWAYS
“OR”? / IS IT NEVER “AND”? / THAT’S WHAT
WOODS ARE FOR: / FOR THOSE MOMENTS IN
THE WOODS. She stops to catch her breath and make sure she’s on the right path.
OH, IF LIFE WERE MADE OF MOMENTS, /
EVEN NOW AND THEN A BAD ONE–! / BUT IF
LIFE WERE ONLY MOMENTS, / THEN YOU’D
NEVER KNOW YOU HAD ONE.
(on the move again)
FIRST A WITCH, THEN A CHILD, / THEN A
PRINCE, THEN A MOMENT– / WHO CAN LIVE
IN THE WOODS? / AND TO GET WHAT YOU
WISH, / ONLY JUST FOR A MOMENT– / THESE
ARE DANGEROUS WOODS…
LET THE MOMENT GO. / DON’T FORGET IT
FOR A MOMENT, THOUGH. /
The WIFE looks in the direction of where the C-PRINCE exited.
JUST REMEMBERING YOU’VE HAD AN “AND,” /
WHEN YOU’RE BACK TO “OR” /
She looks down to the BAKER’S scarf and pulls it from her waist.
MAKES THE “OR” MEAN MORE / THAN IT DID
BEFORE. / NOW I UNDERSTAND– / AND IT’S
TIME TO LEAVE THE WOODS!
With newfound determination to return to her husband, she ties the scarf around her neck and begins to trace her steps
WIFE (CONT’D) One eighty-four… one eighty-three… one eighty-two…
She stops. An ominous expression crosses her face. We begin to hear the pounding steps of the GIANT moving closer. The WIFE scrambles up a steep incline trying to find a way to get out of the GIANT’S path. She makes it to the top, but realizes there is no way down on the other side. As the GIANT’S footsteps near, the WIFE is engulfed in darkness. Trees begin to fall around her and as the earth shakes, she loses her balance and falls backwards with a scream.
EXT. WOODS – TALL TREES – NIGHT
The BAKER is pacing back and forth. CINDERELLA is tending to the BABY. LRRH sits staring sadly into space.
BAKER She should be back by now.
LRRH She wouldn’t get lost.
CINDERELLA I’m sure she’ll return.
BAKER No, I must go and look for her– They hear a commotion. It’s the WITCH, who has JACK by the scruff of the neck.
WITCH Look who I found!
JACK You’re hurting me! The WITCH continues pulling the boy along.
BAKER Let go of him!
WITCH I’ll let go of him when I give him to the Giant.
JACK Make her stop!
LRRH Leave him alone! LRRH goes to try and pull JACK away from the WITCH. A tussle ensues, and the BAKER notices that JACK has dropped something. He goes over and picks up his SCARF.
BAKER (at the top of his
LUNGS) Stop! I said stop!
They do. The BAKER moves to JACK.
BAKER (CONT’D) Where did you find this? The WITCH releases JACK.
JACK I’m sorry, sir…
BAKER It’s my wife’s!
JACK I’m sorry. I came upon her. She was at the bottom of a cliff…
BAKER What are you saying? JACK can’t say the words.
CINDERELLA How awful…
BAKER No. No…! As the truth sinks in.
BAKER (CONT’D) This is my fault. I let her wander off alone. I should have made her stay with me.
(IMPATIENT) Remorse will get you nowhere.
(ANGRY) My wife is dead!
WITCH Wake up! When you’re dead, you’re dead. (goes after JACK) Now it’s time to get this boy to the Giant before we’re all– CINDERELLA and LRRH block her way.
CINDERELLA Keep away from him.
LRRH No!
WITCH This is no time to be soft-hearted! He’s going to the Giant and I’m taking him. The BAKER grabs hold of JACK.
BAKER Yes! He’s the one to blame! It’s because of you there’s a giant in our midst and my wife is dead!
BUT IT ISN’T MY FAULT, / I WAS GIVEN
THOSE BEANS! / YOU PERSUADED ME TO
TRADE AWAY / MY COW FOR BEANS! / AND
WITHOUT THOSE BEANS / THERE’D HAVE BEEN
NO STALK / TO GET UP TO THE GIANTS / IN
THE FIRST PLACE! This becomes one big game of “tag”, the group reconstituting itself as they gang up on whomever they think is the guilty party.
WAIT A MINUTE– / MAGIC BEANS / FOR A
COW SO OLD / THAT YOU HAD TO TELL / A
LIE TO SELL / IT, WHICH YOU TOLD! / WERE
THEY WORTHLESS BEANS? / WERE THEY
OVERSOLD? / OH, AND TELL US WHO /
PERSUADED YOU / TO STEAL THAT GOLD!
SEE, IT’S YOUR FAULT.
YES, IT’S YOUR FAULT.
YES, IT IS!
IT’S NOT!
IT’S TRUE.
WAIT A MINUTE, THOUGH– / I ONLY
STOLE THE GOLD / TO GET MY COW BACK /
FROM YOU!
They turn on the BAKER.
SO IT’S YOUR FAULT!
NO, IT ISN’T! / I’D HAVE KEPT THOSE
BEANS, / BUT OUR HOUSE WAS CURSED. / SHE
MADE US GET A COW / TO GET THE CURSE
REVERSED!
They march over to the WITCH who stands firm.
IT’S HIS FATHER’S FAULT / THAT THE
CURSE GOT PLACED / AND THE PLACE GOT
CURSED / IN THE FIRST PLACE!
OH. / THEN IT’S HIS FAULT!
SO.
IT WAS HIS FAULT.
NO.
YES, IT IS, / IT’S HIS.
I GUESS…
WAIT A MINUTE, THOUGH– / I CHOPPED
DOWN THE BEANSTALK, / RIGHT? THAT’S
CLEAR. / BUT WITHOUT ANY BEANSTALK, /
THEN WHAT’S QUEER / IS HOW DID THE
SECOND GIANT GET DOWN HERE / IN THE
FIRST PLACE? / SECOND PLACE…
HOW?
HMM…
WELL, / WHO HAD THE OTHER BEAN?
YOU POCKETED THE OTHER BEAN.
I DIDN’T! / YES, I DID.
SO IT’S YOUR FAULT–!
NO, IT ISN’T / `CAUSE I GAVE IT TO MY
WIFE!
SO IT’S HER FAULT–!
NO, IT ISN’T!
THEN WHOSE IS IT?
WAIT A MINUTE! / SHE EXCHANGED THAT
BEAN / TO OBTAIN YOUR SHOE, / SO THE ONE
WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED / TO THE BEAN
IS YOU!
Moving on CINDERELLA.
YOU MEAN THAT OLD BEAN / THAT YOUR WIFE
–? OH, DEAR– / BUT I NEVER KNEW, / AND
SO I THREW– / WELL, DON’T LOOK HERE!
SO IT’S YOUR FAULT!
SEE, IT’S HER FAULT–!
AND IT ISN’T MINE AT ALL!
BUT WHAT?
WELL, IF YOU HADN’T GONE / BACK UP
WE WERE NEEDY–
YOU WERE GREEDY! / DID YOU NEED THAT
HEN?
BUT I GOT IT FOR MY MOTHER–!
SO IT’S HER FAULT THEN!
YES, AND WHAT ABOUT THE HARP / IN THE
THIRD PLACE?
THE HARP–YES!
They turn on LRRH.
SHE WENT AND DARED ME TO!
I DARED YOU TO?
YOU DARED ME TO! / SHE SAID THAT I WAS
ME?
–TO. / SHE DARED ME!
NO, I DIDN’T!
BAKER /CINDERELLA /JACK
SO IT’S YOUR FAULT!
WAIT A MINUTE–!
Every man for himself because there’s enough blame to go around.
CINDERELLA BAKER (to LRRH) (to JACK)
IF YOU HADN’T DARED HIM TO– AND YOU HAD LEFT THE HARP
ALONE, /
WE WOULDN’T BE IN TROUBLE / IN
LRRH (CONT’D) (points to the WITCH)
WELL, IF SHE HADN’T RAISED
WELL, IF YOU HADN’T THROWN
THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE–!
AWAY THE BEAN / IN THE FIRST
PLACE–! / IT WAS YOUR FAULT!
YES, IF YOU HADN’T RAISED THEM IN THE
FIRST PLACE–!
They turn to the WITCH who has her back to them.
LRRH /BAKER CINDERELLA
RIGHT! IT’S YOU WHO RAISED YOU RAISED THE BEANS IN THE
THE BEANS IN THE FIRST PLACE– FIRST PLACE!
!
IT’S YOUR FAULT!
CINDERELLA /JACK /LRRH /BAKER
(charging the WITCH)
YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE! / YOU’RE THE ONE TO
BLAME! / IT’S YOUR FAULT!
The WITCH turns on them. She is holding the BAKER’S BABY in her arms.
WITCH Shhhhhhh!
IT’S THE LAST MIDNIGHT. / IT’S THE LAST
WISH. / IT’S THE LAST MIDNIGHT, / SOON
IT WILL BE BOOM– / SQUISH!
TOLD A LITTLE LIE, / STOLE A LITTLE
GOLD, / BROKE A LITTLE VOW, / DID YOU?
HAD TO GET YOUR PRINCE, / HAD TO GET
YOUR COW, / HAD TO GET YOUR WISH, /
DOESN’T MATTER HOW– / ANYWAY IT
DOESN’T MATTER NOW.
She thrusts the BABY into the BAKER’S arms.
IT’S THE LAST MIDNIGHT, / IT’S THE BOOM
— / SPLAT! / NOTHING BUT A VAST
MIDNIGHT, / EVERYBODY SMASHED FLAT!
NOTHING WE CAN DO– / NOT EXACTLY
TRUE: / WE CAN ALWAYS GIVE HER THE BOY.
She lunges for JACK, but LRRH and CINDERELLA put themselves in her path.
NO? / NO, OF COURSE WHAT REALLY MATTERS
IS THE BLAME, / SOMEONE YOU CAN BLAME. /
FINE, IF THAT’S THE THING YOU ENJOY, /
PLACING THE BLAME, / IF THAT’S THE
AIM, / GIVE ME THE BLAME– / JUST GIVE
ME THE BOY.
WITCH No?/ YOU’RE SO NICE./ YOU’RE NOT
GOOD, / YOU’RE NOT BAD, / YOU’RE JUST
NICE. / I’M NOT GOOD, / I’M NOT NICE, /
I’M JUST RIGHT. / I’M THE WITCH. /
YOU’RE THE WORLD.
I’M THE HITCH, / I’M WHAT NO ONE
BELIEVES, / I’M THE WITCH. / YOU’RE ALL
LIARS AND THIEVES, / LIKE HIS FATHER, /
LIKE HIS SON WILL BE, TOO– / OH, WHY
BOTHER? / YOU’LL JUST DO WHAT YOU DO.
IT’S THE LAST MIDNIGHT, / SO GOODBYE,
ALL. / COMING AT YOU FAST, MIDNIGHT– /
SOON YOU’LL SEE THE SKY FALL.
She pulls out some BEANS from her satchel and THROWS them to the ground where they flash upon impact. She knows that losing the beans will be her end. The OTHERS scramble to pick them up.
HERE, YOU WANT A BEAN? / HAVE ANOTHER
BEAN. / BEANS WERE MADE FOR MAKING YOU
RICH! / PLANT THEM AND THEY SOAR– /
HERE, YOU WANT SOME MORE? / LISTEN TO
THE ROAR: / GIANTS BY THE SCORE–! / OH
WELL, YOU CAN BLAME ANOTHER WITCH.
IT’S THE LAST MIDNIGHT, / IT’S THE LAST
VERSE. / NOW, BEFORE IT’S PAST
MIDNIGHT, / I’M LEAVING YOU MY LAST
CURSE: / I’M LEAVING YOU ALONE. / YOU
CAN TEND THE GARDEN, IT’S YOURS. /
SEPARATE AND ALONE, / EVERYBODY DOWN ON
ALL FOURS.
ALL RIGHT, MOTHER, WHEN? / LOST THE
BEANS AGAIN! / PUNISH ME THE WAY YOU
DID THEN! / GIVE ME CLAWS AND A HUNCH, /
JUST AWAY FROM THIS BUNCH / AND THE
GLOOM / AND THE DOOM / AND THE BOOM /
The ground swells beneath her lifting her upwards. Then suddenly, the earth deflates into a sinkhole that sucks the WITCH to its core, swallowing her up as she lets out her final cry.
CRUUUUNCH!
The four back up and scatter for safety as a lava-like substance oozes from where the Witch disappeared, creating a large TAR PIT. As the smoke lifts, the four come together, shaken. The BAKER holds the BABY.
JACK Maybe I shouldn’t have stolen from the Giant…
LRRH Maybe I shouldn’t have strayed from the path…
CINDERELLA Maybe I shouldn’t have attended the Ball…
(BITTER) Yes. Maybe you shouldn’t have… He hands CINDERELLA the BABY and turns to leave.
JACK Where are you going?
BAKER Away from here.
LRRH But you said we had to find our way out of this together.
BAKER It doesn’t matter whether we’re together or apart.
JACK We need your help.
BAKER You don’t understand. My wife was the one who helped. I depended on her for everything.
CINDERELLA You would leave your child?
(DESPONDENT) He’ll be happier in the arms of a Princess… He begins to walk off.
CINDERELLA But wait…
