Corpse Bride

\ ……___,.

FINIS Fetch my musket!

(FRANTICALLY) William, do something!

WILLIAM (clears his throat) Look, the Town Crier probably just had a slow news day. You know how it is. You need something to cry about – –

FINIS (cuts him off) Regardless, we are one groom short for the wedding tomorrow! (under his breath) Not to mention the financial implications.

MAUDELINE A most scandalous embarrassment for us all! And with my relatives due to arrive. This is most dreadful.

NELL Give us a chance to find him.

WILLIAM We beg of you. Just give us until dawn.

In the b.g., Finis is hopping up and down. Grabbing for the musket that hangs on the wall, a bit too high for him to reach. Very well. MAUDELINE ‘Til dawn. She RINGS for the Butler. The Van Dorts hastily get up and back out, bowing.

NELL Thank you! Thank you! I am sure there must be some explanation. We will find him.

(SOTTO) And when we do, he’ll wish he were …

INT. PUB (LAND OF THE DEAD) – PERPETUALTWILIGHT

VICTOR Dead! Demised … expired … Victor and the Corpse romantically lit with relaxed than before. MUSIC. Bride sit at a secluded table, candles. The mood is much more The BANDplays romantic DINNER Paul the Head Waiter hops up. He speaks with a French accent.

MY NAME waiter.

SPECIAL PAUL THE HEAD WAITER ees Paul, I am ze head I will be creating your feast. Now, are zer any dietary requirements?

VICTOR I’m allergic to artichokes. Not that it matters anymore. Being that I’ve kicked the bucket. Shuffled off this mortal coil … Corpse Bride and Paul exchange a glance. The young man are not dead. married! PAUL THE HEAD WAITER is confused. You You are just

VICTOR Very funny.

CORPSE BRIDE No, really. It’s true.

Corpse Bride holds Victor’s hand over the candle on the table.

VICTOR Ouch!

CORPSE BRIDE Feel better?

VICTOR (rubs his hand) That hurt. But wait, that must mean … I’m not dead? I’m still alive? I’m alive!

BIG CORPSE Don’t rub it in, pal.

The Corpse Bride smiles, happy to see Victor happy.

VICTOR But how can a living person marry a dead person?

CORPSE BRIDE By making a vow! Which you did!

VICTOR But I’m already supposed to marry Victoria.

CORPSE BRIDE I’m sure she’ll get over it. There are lots of living people up there. Sensing Victor is unconvinced, the Bride takes a more sympathetic approach.

CORPSE BRIDE This Victoria. Did you love her?

VICTOR (a little wistful) I never had a chance to find out. Truth is, we hardly know anything about each other.

CORPSE BRIDE The thing is, Victor. I know a lot about you. I’ve watched you wandering through the woods, sketching …

VICTOR You have? When?

CORPSE BRIDE Haven’t you ever felt like you weren’t alone, even when you were? Or saw something out of the corner of your eye and turned and it wasn’t there?

VICTOR Yes.

CORPSE BRIDE It was me. Victor is strangely touched.

CORPSE BRIDE We live in these two different worlds, but they overlap sometimes. I think we were meant to find each other.

VICTOR I don’t even know your name.

CORPSE BRIDE I can’t believe … in all the excitement. It’s Emily.

(BEAT) I also have a little wedding gift for you. The Corpse Bride WHISTLES. Out comes a little skeleton dog, wagging its tail, very happy to see Victor.

VICTOR Scraps! My dog Scraps! SCRAPS JUMPS UP and starts LICKING Victor.

CORPSE BRIDE I knew you’d be happy to see him. With manic energy, the little dog tears around the bar, knocking over glasses before leaping back into Victor’s lap. Hearing the RUCKUS, Mrs. Plum emerges from the kitchen, waving her soup ladle.

MRS. PLUM Who let that horrid beast in here? PAUL THE HEAD WAITER (looking at Victor) He came in with the dog.

VICTOR (to Mrs. Plum) I’m afraid he’s mine. Well, Hfili. ••• Scraps was my dog when I was a boy.

MRS. PLUM Keep him out of my kitchen! Who knows where he’s been. She turns back through the kitchen door, maggots and flies swarm over her bluish-grey flesh.

The little DOG jumps around in Victor’s lap, wagging his tail and BARKING cheerfully.

CORPSE BRIDE What a cutie.

VICTOR You should have seen him with fur. Victor pets the skeleton dog fondly.

VICTOR Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this.

(SOTTO) But, then again, she never approved of anything.

CORPSE BRIDE Do you think she would have approved of me?

VICTOR You’re lucky you’ll never have to meet her. Victor suddenly has an INSPIRATION.

(FALSE BRIGHTNESS) Well, actually … now that you mention it … I think she would. Yes. I do believe she would. In fact, since we’re, you know, m… married … you should definitely meet her. And my father too. You should meet both my parents! Victor waits nervously for her reaction. Slowly, a big smile comes over Corpse Bride’s face.

CORPSE BRIDE What a fantastic idea! Let’s go find them. Where are they buried?

VICTOR Oh, there is one slight problem …

CORPSE BRIDE What is it?

VICTOR They’re not from around here.

··——·.

CORPSE BRIDE Where are they? Victor points toward the ceiling.

CORPSE BRIDE They’re still alive?

VICTOR I’m afraid so.

(CRUSHED) That is a problem.

EXT. VAN DORT HOUSE (LAND OF THE LIVING) – NIGHT

Mayhew sits on the carriage, SNEEZING, COUGHINGin the pouring rain.

INT. VAN DORT DRAWINGROOM- NIGHT

RAIN HAMMERSon the WINDOW. Nell WHIMPERSinto a big handkerchief.

NELL They’re the best family for miles and we were going to marry into them. Their manners and breeding — were going to be our manners and breeding! They’re related to a Duke. (her voice breaks) A Duke!

WILLIAM And we’ve lost a son, of course.

(DISMISSIVE) Oh yes. That too.

WILLIAM But we haven’t lost all hope.

NELL How so?

WILLIAM The Everglots agreed to have their daughter marry .Q.U.r son.

NELL Yes, I recall!

WILLIAM But we never specified which son. Nell looks at him, perplexed. Has he lost his mind?

NELL We only have one son!

WILLIAM Or do we?

NELL We do! With a wait-one-moment finger, William leaves the room. He returns a beat later, holding a broom dressed in a dinner jacket, complete with a top hat perched on the straw.

WILLIAM May I introduce Reginald Van Dort!

NELL He’s a broom!

WILLIAM He’s tidy!

NELL He’s flammable!

WILLIAM And Victor isn’t? Dear wife, with the proper flame, we all burn to cinders.

NELL And we Hi.l..l burn to don’t find Victor! cinders if we Ooooh! She storms out of the room.

WILLIAM (to the broom) Your mother’s very fragile.

INT. VICTORIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Victoria is alone. She is sewing her quilt — it now covers an entire armchair and is looking slightly more unhinged. She seems sadder and lonelier than ever. Finally, she stands up and throws on a heavy shawl. great effort, she pushes up the window and leans on sill, looking out into the rainy night.

INT. ELDER’S STUDY (LAND OF THE DEAD) – LATER

The study is stacked ceiling to floor with crumbling books, scrolls, charts and strange, medieval, scientific instruments. Rickety shelves bend under the weight of mysterious jars and boxes. Crows perch in the rafters. The whole place is frosted with bird droppings, and the dust of untold centuries. It’s Leonardo Da Vinci meets Sanford and Son. ELDER GUTKNECHT is an ANCIENT, GNARLED SKELETON, as bent and twisted as a tree root. He wears a scholarly cap and wire-rimmed glasses. Victor and Corpse Bride plead with him as he wanders between the stacks, removing something from one pile and carefully placing it on another.

CORPSE BRIDE … please, Elder Gutknecht, surely there must be something you can do?

ELDER GUTKNECHT Why go up when you can stay down here? People are dying to get in. Victor and Corpse Bride exchange a look.

VICTOR It’s very important she meet my family. Just a quick hello and we’ll be right back.

(TO VICTOR) I’m so glad you thought of this.

A twinge of guilt comes across Victor’s face. Elder Gutknecht rubs his head in thought, causing a shower of dust to drift off him. Suddenly, inspiration!

I have it! spell! A what? Of course!

ELDER GUTKNECHT A Ukranian haunting

Elder Gutknecht shuffles to a stepladder affixed to his bookshelf. Corpse Bride and Victor watch as he hoists himself up each step, knocking books off the shelf as he goes. At the top of the ladder he struggles to reach for a particularly large book.

(HASTILY) Allow me, sir. Victor retrieves the book and drops it on Elder Gutknecht’s desk.

ELDER GUTKNECHT (climbing down from

LADDER) It’s just the thing for these quick trips. None of the fuss of corporeal travel.

VICTOR Such a thing is possible?

ELDER GUTKNECHT Certainly. But not needed here. Now, let’s see …

He flips through the pages. Corpse Bride and Victor lean closer, slightly touching one another. They are so intent on the book they don’t notice.

ELDER GUTKNECHT It certainly is dusty. What Gutknecht doesn’t realize is that most of the dust comes from him.

ELDER GUTKNECHT Ahh! Here. And we have everything we need.

He takes a strange speckled egg from a bowl on his desk. He begins MUMBLINGa spell, then suddenly looks up.

ELDER GUTKNECHT Ready?

VICTOR No! I don’t understand how …

ELDER GUTKNECHT Just remember, when you want to come back, just say ‘hopscotch.’

VICTOR Hopscotch?

ELDER GUTKNECHT That’s it. Elder Gutknecht suddenly CRACKSthe egg above their heads. Instead of a yolk, a strange, sparkling powder falls out. The moment it touches Victor and Corpse Bride, they instantly collapse.

EXT. ABANDONEDCEMETERY(LAND OF THE LIVING) – NIGHT

Victor blinks, bewildered. As the sparkling dust clears, he finds himself standing in the middle of a graveyard, Corpse Bride at his side.

CORPSE BRIDE I had forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is … She leans over to a tree, trying to gather a branch in her hand. But her fingers pass right through it.

Confused, Victor reaches out. His fingers pass through it too.

VICTOR Is this a dream?

CORPSE BRIDE No, it’s real. Everything’s real except us. You and I are just phantoms.

Laughing, she glides around the trunk. She dances around the clearing, disappearing behind the black columns and reappearing again.

Victor is transfixed by the vision of her dancing, her dress flowing around her like smoke in the cold light of the moon. She comes back to him.

CORPSE BRIDE Which house is yours? Victor looks around. To the left, he sees his own house, with one gable. To the right, he sees the Everglots’ two-gabled mansion. After a beat of hesitation, he points to the Everglots.

VICTOR It’s right up there.

IMPROVISING) Why don’t I sort of go first, and … prepare them. You wait here.

CORPSE BRIDE Perfect! Victor runs toward the house atop the hill. We STAY BEHIND with the Bride as she dances on gravestones. After a few beats, Black Widow and Maggot crawl out.

BLACK WIDOW You are a very trusting bride.

MAGGOT She is warmhearted.

BLACK WIDOW But we’re all cold-blooded now.

CORPSE BRIDE Not Victor.

BLACK WIDOW No. Not Victor. He’s back in the Land of the Living. And I’m sure he has a l..a.t. to catch up on.

MAGGOT What are you implying?

BLACKWIDOW Out of sight, out of mind. Out of mind … out of the picture.

Corpse Bride looks over at the two-gabled house in the distance.

EXT. EVERGLOTMANSION- NIGHT

Victor approaches the house cautiously, not sure what to expect. Then he spies two silhouettes in one of the downstairs windows. He carefully approaches.

(SILHOUETTE) If I ever get my hands on that Van Dort boy, I’ll strangle him with my bare hands.

INT. EVERGLOTDRAWINGROOM- CONTINUOUSACTION

MAUDELINE Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin. You’ll have to use a rope!

FINIS Hmmmf. BACK TO VICTOR Startled, he creeps back away. He nearly gives up altogether, when he notices a —

ANGLE – LIGHT

In an upstairs window.

With the courage of the damned, he reaches for a rickety trellis, hoping to climb it. But his hands pass right through it.

CONTINUED; Drat! Think,

VICTOR There must be a way. Victor, think!

As he wracks his brain, we notice his shoes have floated up off the ground.

VICTOR The skeleton called it a haunting spell. That would make me a … ghost.

Only now does he realize that he’s floated up to the second level. He can look in the window.

INT. VICTORIA’S BEDROOM- NIGHT

Victoria sits in her armchair, frantically stitching away at her quilt. She hears a WHISTLE. She turns to see Victor on her balcony — muddy, disheveled, his jacket torn, his hair wild. She rushes over and opens the French doors. Victor enters.

VICTORIA Victor! Oh, it is such joy to see you. What’s happened to you!

(BEAT) Your coat —

(DESPERATE) Victoria, you have to help me.

VICTORIA You cannot know what they have been saying … Suddenly Victor freezes with horror. He is facing the window, and he alone sees … Corpse Bride’s SKELETAL ARM appearing over the railing of the balcony. Victor lets out a panicked gasp.

He quickly steps in front of the window, so Victoria won’t see the bride.

VICTORIA Victor, what’s wrong?

(HASTILY) I seem to find myself married. And you should know it’s unexpected. Corpse Bride heaves the rest of herself over the edge of

the balcony, losing a leg in the process. She grabs the leg to reattach it. Corpse Bride, distracted with fixing her leg back on, doesn’t notice Victoria.

(MERRILY) Oh dear, and I did so want to make a good impression! I couldn’t wait, darling. I wanted to meet … Now she sees Victoria, and freezes. Both women stare at each other. Corpse Bride, puzzled, goes up to Victor, putting a possessive hand on his arm.

CORPSE BRIDE Darling? Who is this? As her hand rests on his arm, Victoria sees the RING.

(STUNNED) Victor! Who … What is this?

VICTOR Victoria, wait, you don’t

(DESPERATELY) I can assure you it’s not what you think. She’s dead! Look! He grabs the Corpse Bride’s bony arm, flapping it for emphasis. Victoria SCREAMS.

CORPSE BRIDE Who is she?

VICTOR Victoria Everglot. The girl I’m supposed to marry. Suddenly there’s a POUNDINGon the bedroom door.

MAUDELI NE (behind the door) Victoria! What’s going on in there! Open this door at once! Finis, get the key!

(TO VICTOR) You tricked me! She grabs him tightly around the chest.

CORPSE BRIDE Hopscotch!

VICTOR What? (realizing) Wait! No! Suddenly, Corpse Bride and Victor begin to fade.

VICTOR Victoria, you have to help me! He reaches out to her. Their fingers nearly touch, before Victor completely disappears.

INT. ELDER’S STUDY (LAND OF THE DEAD) – PERPETUAL

TWILIGHT Elder Gutknecht sits at his desk when suddenly Corpse Bride and Victor awaken on the floor. She pushes herself up.

CORPSE BRIDE You lied to me! Just to get back to that other woman. Victor stands there, guilty as charged.

(MISERABLY) Don’t you understand? You are the other woman.

No!

CORPSE BRIDE (more hurt than

FURIOUS NOW) You’re married to me! other woman.

SHE’S Corpse Bride bursts into tears. Unsure of what to do, Victor turns to the Elder for support.

SHOULDERS) She’s got a point.

( SOBBING) Oh, and I thought … I thought this was all going so well …

Her eye plops out with the force of her weeping. Victor picks it up and hands it back to her.

VICTOR Look, I’m sorry but … this just can’t work.

CORPSE BRIDE (putting her eye

BACK IN) Why not?

(SELF-CONSCIOUSLY) It’s my eye, isn’t it?

VICTOR No … your eye is fine. Really?

VICTOR Yes. Listen, under different circumstances, well, who knows. But, we’re just .t.o.o. different. I mean, you’re dead.

CORPSE BRIDE You should have thought about that before you asked me to marry you.

VICTOR Why can’t you understand? It was a mistake! I would never marry you!

The words sting. Corpse Bride dejectedly lowers her head. She turns and walks out of the Elder’s study, leaving Victor standing there, feeling like a heel.

EXT. ALLEY WAY (LAND OF THE DEAD) – LATER

Corpse Bride walks down the alley. She reaches into a hidden pocket of her gown, and pulls out a dried, crumbling wedding bouquet. Petals drift off it.

CORPSE BRIDE Roses for eternal love … lilies for sweetness … baby’s breath … She drops the bouquet on the ground and walks off. Victor stands in the shadows, watching the Corpse Bride walk away. He follows, but keeps a good distance back. Black Widow and Maggot are perched on the bride’s shoulders. As the bride wipes off a tear, we see that the moisture floats away like feather down.

BLACK WIDOW Forget him. He’s not worth the tears, darling.

MAGGOT But what tears they are! Strong and wispy!

(IGNORING) I can’t compete with that woman. She has everything he wants. Including a pulse.

BLACK WIDOW Nonsense! MUSIC RISES for a song, “Break My Heart.”

BLACK WIDOW All she has is life, You have everything after! All she has is blood and hair, You have glorious laughter! As Black Widow and Maggot get into it, they start swinging around the bride, flying on spider web lines.

MAGGOT All she has is colour, Which fades with every day. The best in you is black and white, And shades of blue-ish grey! Corpse Bride smiles, despite herself.

BLACK WIDOW Famine, death and pestilence, Haven’t troubled you in years, The best part of being dead, Is burying your fears.

MAGGOT Everyone, eventually, Dies and rots and stinks, Victor, he will too, one day. No matter what he thinks.

CORPSE BRIDE He thinks I’m a monster.

MAGGOT You .a..u:_ a monster. A beautiful monster.

BLACKWIDOW So start acting like one. A little inspired, Corpse Bride takes on a verse:

CORPSE BRIDE Cut me with a knife, I feel nothing.

MAGGOT Exactly!

CORPSE BRIDE Burn me with a flame, I’ll keep smiling just the same.

BLACKWIDOW As well you should!

CORPSE BRIDE Cupid shot his arrow At my only living part. So if you want to hurt me, Break my heart.

Wait, what? again!

MAGGOT No! It got sad Black Widow and Maggot try to salvage the can-do spirit of the song, but Corpse Bride keeps shooting it down. WIDOW/MAGGOT/BRIDE Remember … All she has is life, You have everything after! What good is an afterlife When love is a disaster? All she has is colour, Which fades with every day. Like an ink-stain soaked and scrubbed, I’ll gladly fade away. The best part of being dead … Is feeling not a thing. But everyone, eventually … Feels love’s cruelest sting. Black Widow and Maggot are at a loss. continues her sad lament, they retreat cage. As the Bride inside her rib

CORPSE BRIDE Cut me with a knife, I feel nothing! Burn me with a flame, I’ll keep smiling just the same. Cupid shot his arrow At my only living part. So if you want to hurt me, Break my heart. As Corpse Bride walks off, we COME UPON Victor, who’s heard the whole song. He feels terrible.

INT. VICTORIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Victoria, wide-eyed and disheveled, paces Hildegarde tries desperately to calm her. watches her with unamused disdain.

VICTORIA It’s true, Mother! Victor’s married to a dead woman! I saw her! A corpse! Standing right here, with Victor! the room.

(GASPING) Victor was in your room!? The scandal!

HILDEGARDE Miss Victoria, dear, let Hilde fix you a nice cuppa tea. Come sit in your chair … I can’t sit! He came here

VICTORIA I have to help him! to ask for my help!

HILDEGARDE Come sit by the fire, dearie, you’re shakin’ like a leaf. Let Hilde fetch you a blanket.

MAUDELINE Fetch her a straightjacket. She’s completely mad! Annoyed, Maudeline turns on her heel and exits. Hildegarde leads Victoria to a chair and drapes a blanket across her shoulders.

VICTORIA A corpse in a wedding gown, with my ring on her finger. It was awful!

HILDEGARDE Truly awful, Miss Victoria. A corpse in a wedding gown! I’ve heard tell of such things. Don’t worry, dearie, we’ll save Master Van Dort from the clutches of darkness. Hildegarde exits the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

EXT. VICTORIA’S BALCONY – LATER

Victoria, with the blanket stands out on the balcony. She hesitates, then climbs trellis. wrapped over her like a hood, The rain is falling hard. over the railing and down the Hildegarde is waiting for her at the bottom, with an umbrella at the ready.

EXT. EVERGLOT MANSION – CONTINUOUS ACTION – RAIN

Victoria and Hildegarde hurry across the village square in the POURING RAIN.

EXT. PASTOR GALSWELLS’ HOME – NIGHT (RAIN)

Pastor Galswells, his towering Pope-hat, now flopped forward like a night cap, answers a KNOCK on his door to discover Victoria and Hildegarde.

(APPALLED) Miss Everglot! What are you doing here! You should be at home prostrate with grief!

HILDEGARDE We sought the advice of a man of the cloth.

VICTORIA Pastor Galswells, I have to ask you something.

PASTOR GALSWELLS This is most irregular!

VICTORIA Please, I beg of you! Tell me, can the living marry the dead?

PASTOR GALSWELLS What on earth are you speaking about?

VICTORIA Please, Pastor Galswells! It’s Victor! He needs our help! He’s married to a corpse! He has a Corpse Bride! Pastor Galswells looks at her piercingly.

VICTORIA undoThere must be some what’s been done. one who would know

YOU’RE how!

THE ONLY Seeing the Pastor’s distrust …

HILDEGARDE I’ve known this girl her whole life, ain’t never once lied.

PASTOR GALSWELLS I believe I know the thing to do. Come with me . Victoria and Hildegarde gratefully follow him.

EXT. LARGE HOME – NIGHT (RAIN)

CLOSE ON a large imposing door and Pastor Galswells’ fist BANGING on it. We PULL BACK to reveal it’s Victoria’s own front door. She squirms desperately to escape as Pastor Galswells holds her firmly.

VICTORIA No! Please. You must believe me! The Butler answers, with Maudeline and Finis right behind him.

(HORRIFIED) Good Lord. What on earth is this about! Victoria! Where are your corsets?! Victoria struggles wildly. She’s muddy and disheveled, looking more and more, in fact, crazy.

PASTOR GALSWELLS She is speaking in tongues! Of unholy alliances! Her mind has come undone, I fear, led perhaps by this strange woman. He’s referring to …

MAUDELINE Hildegarde! … who stands sheepishly behind them.

FINIS Good heavens. She and Finis drag Victoria in.

·.”-..__.

MAUDELINE Thank, you, Pastor Galswells. Thank you so much. Hildegarde, you may get started on breakfast! Maudeline and Finis close the door as Pastor Galswells bows with a judgmental scowl.

INT. EVERGLOTENTRYWAY- NIGHT

Maudeline bolts the door and hands Victoria over to the Butler.

VICTORIA Mother, Father, please … listen … The Butler escorts a weeping Victoria up the stairs. Maudeline leans against the wall, clutching her heart.

MAUDELINE Will the mortification never cease? She looks in agony, toward the portrait of the Duke.

MAUDELINE What would the Duke have said? (slowly, in growing

HORROR) And the relatives en route as we speak! They’ve R.S.V.P. ‘d. It’s too late! Oh, won’t the villagers just gloat! It will be years before we can show ourselves in public again! What shall we do?

FINIS We shall continue as planned, with or without Vincent.

MAUDELINE Victor.

FINIS Whatever.

INT. THE VAN DORTS’ CARRIAGE – DAY

The Van Dort CARRIAGE CLATTERS along the cobblestone streets through the POURING RAIN. Mayhew sits, wet and miserable, his hacking cough reverberating. Seated within, Nell and William continue their search for Victor. William peers out the window on one side as Nell looks out the other, scanning the vicinity with a pair of opera glasses. From outside, in the driver’s seat, comes the sound of Mayhew’s RASPING COUGH.

NELL Did you hear the latest gossip? Our son, married to a corpse, she’s saying.

WILLIAM Stark raving mad. Frankly, my dear, perhaps we’re better off out of it. A pause.

WILLIAM Of course, we’re the ones with the son married to the corpse.

NELL William, don’t be ridiculous. What corpse would marry him?

WILLIAM At least we have one dependable son. He gestures to the suit-wearing broom, who is across from them. Nell rolls her eyes.

(BANGING CEILING) Faster, Mayhew! And silence that blasted coughing! Mayhew suddenly stops coughing.

(LOOKING THROUGH the opera glasses) Oh, where can the ninny have gone to?

EXT. PUB (LAND OF THE DEAD)- PERPETUAL TWILIGHT

Victor walks toward the pub entrance, holding the dried bouquet. Two skeletons push past him, carrying a table.

INT. PUB – CONTINUOUSACTION

Victor enters. Most of the tables have been moved outside for the wedding feast. It’s quiet and still, a “closing time” vibe. The place is empty except for a skeleton who sweeps the floor, and Mrs. Plum, who pushes a cart of dirty dishes into the kitchen. Up on the stage, Corpse Bride sits, PLINKING sadly on the old piano.

VICTOR (walks up to her) I … I think you dropped this. Without looking up she takes the flowers.

VICTOR I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you about wanting to see my parents. Truth is, I’m happier not to see them. Corpse Bride doesn’t respond. The Maggot pops out of her ear.

MAGGOT Oh, save it for the living girls, Vic. I think you’ve said quiet enough already. The Black Widow emerges. They perch on her shoulders, one on either side.

VICTOR I never meant to …

BLACK WIDOW I’ve had dozens of husbands, and none of them as heartless as you. You should be ashamed.

VICTOR But, I. ..

MAGGOT You’re married now and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it. You might as well get used to it.

\ …__

CORPSE BRIDE Don’t bother. You can’t force him to like me.

But I do like you. Truly. It’s just this whole evening hasn’t gone quite, well, according to plan. After a beat, Victor sits down on the bench next to her. He starts playing along. Corpse Bride looks up at him, surprised, but keeps playing, as he improvises. It’s nothing fancy, just simple fun like “chopsticks.” Something Victor would never have played in the company of others before. The music picks up as they play. It’s almost like a “Dueling Banjos” thing: Corpse Bride plays a riff, and Victor echoes it back with an unexpected spin. They’re starting to truly enjoy themselves. Corpse Bride takes a solo, her skeletal hand breaking free from her wrist and running on its fingers down the length of the keyboard. It dances there, doing a little “soft shoe” melody before the Corpse Bride, laughing, picks up her hand and snaps it back into place.

(GIGGLING) Pardon my enthusiasm.

(SHYLY) I like your enthusiasm. An awkward beat. Victor and Corpse Bride look at each other. Suddenly a LOUD CRASH is heard from the kitchen. Scraps comes running out through the door with Mrs. Plum in pursuit.

MRS. PLUM Who let that filthy beast in my kitchen! We FOLLOWScraps and Mrs. Plum out into the village square.

EXT. VILLAGE SQUARE – SAME TIME

The place is bustling as the Dead prepare for the upcoming party. Bonejangles and the Skeletones, who have been warming up,

break into SONG to inspire the hard-working crowd. This leads to a “spontaneous” musical number in which skeletons stagger back and forth arranging heavy tables as steaming platters are laid out with tightly choreographed precision, like a Busby Berkeley musical. Mrs. Plum leads the singing, (think “Everybody Eats When They Come to My House” by Cab Calloway) as the trays of odd, gnarled “food” hit the table. The whole village gets into the act, arranging dead flowers and hanging decorations. Paul the Head Waiter scurries between people’s feet, darting from place to place, supervising the activities. As the MUSIC continues, Corpse Bride, feeling her old cheerful self again, gazes at the party preparations swirling around her. Her eyes settle on Victor, in his filthy, tattered jacket. She studies him carefully, shaking her head.

Black Widow emerges from Corpse Bride’s ear and WHISTLES. Suddenly, dozens of fellow spiders descend from above and land on Victor. Victor closes his eyes in horror. Without missing a beat, the spiders swarm over him. They repair his tattered suit in Land of the Dead style. The plain, austere fabric is now interwoven with glistening spider webs, and glows with a sinister elegance. Victor opens his eyes and looks down in astonishment. Corpse Bride beams as party preparation, and the MUSIC, reach fever pitch. A group of skeletons stagger under the weight of a grotesque, towering wedding cake, decorated with tangled roots and spider webs.

It tilts and sways precariously from side to side. It’s so massive that skeletons dance on the first three layers. Mrs. Plum, on top of the cake, puts the finishing touches on as the MUSIC ENDS, giving way to excited chatter and applause. The excitement is interrupted by the clamor of —

A BELL RINGING.

PAUL THE HEAD WAITER (O.S.)

Coming through, coming through! New arrival! He ushers in the new arrival, a confused-looking elderly

man. It is Mayhew, the Van Darts’ coachman.

VICTOR Mayhew!

MAYHEW Young Victor!

VICTOR How nice to see you!

THIS MEANS) Er, I mean, I’m so sorry …

MAYHEW (looking around,

WONDERINGLY) So … so peaceful! No one barkin’ orders at me night and day. Oh, pardon me, Master Van Dort.

VICTOR No, no, I understand. How is everyone?

MAYHEW All right, I suppose. still wonderin’ where off to. Oh, and Miss Yes?