DUKE (V/O)
There was something like 190 more
bikes waiting to start. They were
due to go off 10 at a time every 2
minutes.
DUKE hits the bar.
DUKE
Beer!
A middle-aged HOODLUM in a T-shirt booms up to the bar.
HOODLUM
God damn! What day is this —
Saturday?
DUKE
More like Sunday.
HOODLUM
Hah! That’s a bitch, ain’t it?
Last night I was home in Long Beach
and somebody said they were runnin’
the Mint 400 today, so I says to my
old lady, “Man, I’m goin’.” So she
gives me a lot of crap about it, so
I start slappin’ her around, and
the next thing you know two guys I
never seen before are beating me
stupid.
VOICE OFF
Group 4!
Outside, another batch of motorcycles roar away — kicking
up more clouds of dust.
HOODLUM
Then they gave me ten bucks, put me
on a bus, and when I woke up here I
was in downtown Vegas, and for a
minute all I could think was, “O
Jesus, who’s divorcing me this
time?” But then I remembered, by
God! I was here for the Mint 400.
And, man, I tell you, it’s wonderful
to be here. Just wonderful to be
here with you people.
A silence. A MAGAZINE REPORTER lunges across the bar —
grabs the BARTENDER.
26.
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Senzaman wassyneeds!
DUKE
(smacks the bar with
his palm)
Hell yes! Bring us ten!
VOICE OFF
Group 5!
MAGAZINE REPORTER
(screams)
I’ll back it!
(slides off his stool
to the floor)
Outside, motorcycles roar away. The dust cloud billows into
the tent — getting denser.
MAGAZINE REPORTER (CONT’D)
(on the floor)
This is a magic moment in sport!
It may never come again! I once
did the Triple Crown, but it was
nothing like this.
A FROG-EYED WOMAN claws at the MAGAZINE REPORTER, tries to
haul him up.
FROG-EYED WOMAN
Please stand up! You’re a
correspondent for a major national
magazine who’s name we can’t get
clearance for! Please! You’d be a
very handsome man if you’d just
stand up!
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Listen, madam. I’m damn near
intolerably handsome down here
where I am. You’d go crazy if I
stood up!
A feverishly eager LACERDA appears out of the dust cloud, 3
cameras slung round his neck.
LACERDA
Club soda, please.
FROG-EYED WOMAN
(to MAGAZINE REPORTER)
Please! I love Life!
27.
LACERDA
(to DUKE)
Man, it’s great out there!
DUKE
Lunatics.
LACERDA grins.
VOICE OFF
Group 6!
LACERDA
Meet you outside!
LACERDA downs his drink — hurries out through the crowd and
out into the cloud of dust.
EXT. DESERT – DAY
Nothing. Except for a THICK CLOUD OF DUST.
Barely visible, a motorcycle comes speeding into the pits.
The RIDER staggers off his bike. The PIT CREW gas it up and
sends it back with a FRESH RIDER.
DUKE watches him disappear back into the dust cloud.
DUKE (V/O)
By 10 they were spread out all over
the course. It was no longer a
race, now it was an Endurance
Contest. The idea of trying to
“cover this race” in any
conventional press sense was absurd.
A HORN HONKS. A shiny BLACK BRONCO with DRIVER. LACERDA
hangs out of the window.
LACERDA
It’s great, isn’t it?! Jump in!
DUKE gets into the Bronco and they head into the DUST CLOUD.
EXT. DESERT – DAY
IN THE BRONCO.
DUKE hangs on with his beer. Nothing all around but the
HUGE IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF DUST. LACERDA snaps madly away
at nothing at all!
28.
LACERDA
I’ll just keep trying different
combos of film and lenses till I
find one that works in this dust!
The SOUND OF MOTORCYCLES RACING…
We hear music and voices singing:
BATTLE HYMN
“…As we go marching on
When I reach my final campground,
in
that land beyond the sun,
And the Great Commander asks me…”
[What did he ask you, Rusty?]
“Did you fight or did you run?”
A moment later, the Bronco races out of the dust. DUKE
coughs, chokes, drinks beer.
BATTLE HYMN
(continuing)
[And what did you tell them,
Rusty?]
“We responded to their rifle fire
with everything we had…”
The sound of gun shots…
A DUNE BUGGY races toward them, loaded down with THREE
RETIRED PETTY OFFICERS, DRUNK AS HELL. The radio blares:
“THE BATTLE HYMN OF LIEUTENANT CALLEY.”
The dune buggy is COVERED WITH OMINOUS SYMBOLS: SCREAMING
EAGLES CARRYING AMERICAN FLAGS IN THEIR CLAWS. A slant-eyed
Snake being chopped to bits by a buzz-saw made of stars and
stripes. A MACHINE GUN MOUNT on the passenger side. They
yell over the roaring engines.
DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
Where’s the damn race?
DUKE
Beats me. We’re just good patriotic
Americans like yourself.
DUKE gives DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 A NICE BIG GRIN. In
response, the PASSENGER #2 narrows his eyes — tightens his
grip on an automatic weapon.
DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
(suspiciously)
What outfit you fellas with?
29.
DUKE
The sporting press. We’re
friendlies. Hired geeks.
The DRIVER and DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 exchange looks.
DUKE
If you want a good chase, you
should get after that skunk from
CBS News up ahead in the black jeep.
He’s the man responsible for that
book, THE SELLING OF THE PENTAGON.
DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #1
HOT DAMN!
DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2
A black jeep, you say?
And they ROAR away.
DUKE
Take me back to the pits.
LACERDA
No, no — we have to go on. We
need total coverage.
DUKE gets out of the Bronco.
DUKE
You’re fired.
After a moment’s hesitation, LACERDA and the BRONCO driver
roar away leaving DUKE alone in the cloud of dust.
DUKE (V/O)
It was time. I felt, for an
Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole
scene. The race was definitely
under way. I had witnessed the
start; I was sure of that much.
But what now?
EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS – NIGHT
MUSIC PUMPS OUT. CRUISING IN THE RED SHARK IN VEGAS. THE
SKY SWIRLS WITH MILLIONS OF NEON LIGHTS CHASING EACH OTHER
IN BAROQUE PATTERNS ACROSS GIGANTIC HOTEL SIGNS. PSYCHEDELIC
LIGHT SHOWS TO LURE AND DERANGE THE INNOCENT. CITY OF LOST
SOULS.
30.
DUKE
Turn up the radio! Turn up the
tape machine! Roll the windows
down. Let’s taste this cool desert
wind! Aaah, yes! This is what
it’s all about!
DUKE, beer in hand, drives — a big smile for the world.
GONZO scans The Vegas Visitor.
DUKE (V/O)
Total control now. Tooling along
the main drag on a Saturday night
in Vegas, two good old boys in a
fire apple red convertible…
stoned, ripped, twisted… Good
people!
GONZO
How about “Nickel Nick’s Slot
Arcade?” “Hot Slots,” that sounds
heavy. Twenty-nine cent hotdogs…
DUKE
Look, what are we doing here? Are
we here to entertain ourselves, or
to do the job?
GONZO
To do the job, of course. Here we
go… a Crab Louie and quart of
muscatel for twenty dollars!
The Shark hits a bump.
GONZO
As your attorney I advise you to
drive over to the Tropicana and
pick up on Guy Lombardo. He’s in
the Blue Room with his Royal
Canadians.
They hit another bump.
DUKE
Why?
GONZO
Why what?
CUT to wide shot. They are DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES in a
large casino parking lot, bumping over the dividers.
31.
DUKE
Why should I pay out my hard-earned
dollars to watch a fucking corpse.
I don’t know about you, but in my
line of business it’s important to
be Hep.
EXT. DESERT ROOM HOTEL – NIGHT
TWO BIG SCREAMING FACES.
DOORMAN #1
What the hell are you doing?!
DOORMAN #2
You can’t park here!
DUKE
Why not? Is this not a reasonable
place to park?
Reveal the RED SHARK parked on the sidewalk in front of the
Desert Inn. TWO DOORMEN loom over the car hood. The
MARQUEE says: TONIGHT. DEBBIE REYNOLDS.
GONZO leaps from the car, waving a five-dollar bill at the
DOORMAN.
GONZO
We want this car parked! We drove
all the way from L.A. for this show.
We’re friends of Debbie’s.
A pause, then… the DOORMAN pockets the bill, hands them a
parking stub. DUKE and GONZO hurry into the hotel.
INT. DESERT FROM HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO walk through the lobby. Black, mirrored,
sleek, classy.
DUKE
Holy shit! They almost had us
there! That was quick thinking.
GONZO
What do you expect? I’m your
attorney. You owe me five bucks.
I want it now.
DUKE shrugs and hands over the $5.
32.
DUKE (V/O)
This was Bob Hope’s turf. Frank
Sinatra’s. Spiro Agnew’s. It
seemed inappropriate to be haggling
about nickel/dime bribes for the
parking lot attendant.
A WINE-COLORED TUXEDO stops them at the entrance to the
ballroom.
WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
Sorry, full house.
GONZO
Goddamnit, we drove all the way
from L.A.
WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
I said there are no seats left…
at any price.
GONZO
Fuck seats! We’re old friends of
Debbie’s. I used to romp with her.
GONZO and the WINE-COLORED TUXEDO get into an ugly arm-
waving negotiation.
DUKE (V/O)
After a lot of bad noise, he let us
in for nothing provided we would
stand quietly at the back and not
smoke.
As DUKE and GONZO disappear through the door we can hear the
orchestra blasting out a HIGHLY BLANDIZED “SGT. PEPPER’S
LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND.”
A beat.
The door flies open and BOUNCERS manhandle DUKE and GONZO
out. Despite the rough treatment they’re both SCREECHING
WITH LAUGHTER.
GONZO
Jesus creeping shit!
DUKE
(tears streaming)
Did the mescaline just kick in? Or
was that Debbie Reynolds in a
silver Afro wig?!
33.
GONZO
(in hysteria)
We wandered into a fucking time
capsule!
EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS – NIGHT
DUKE DRIVES FAST into the night. They’re both LAUGHING
HYSTERICALLY.
DUKE
(in hysteria)
We wandered into a fucking time
capsule!
THEN… GONZO finds a TINY TEAR IN HIS JACKET…
GONZO
What’s this?…
GONZO is instantly MOROSE.
GONZO
That scum…
GONZO twists round in the car — SCREAMS back into the night.
GONZO
SCUM! I know where you live! I’ll
find you and burn down your fucking
house!
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS – NIGHT
A hundred foot high neon clown: BAZOOKO CIRCUS.
The RED SHARK pulls up beneath the sign.
DUKE
This is the place. They’ll never
fuck with us here.
GONZO
Where’s the ether? This mescaline
isn’t working.
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO – NIGHT
Into the GLARING, CHASING LIGHTS of the entrance canopy
steps DUKE in EC/U holding a KLEENEX SOAKED IN ETHER TO HIS
NOSE.
34.
DUKE (V/O)
Ah, devil ether. It makes you
behave like the village drunkard in
some early Irish novel… total
loss of all basic motor skills;
blurred vision, no balance, numb
tongue —
(throws away kleenex)
The mind recoils in horror, unable
to communicate with the spinal
column. Which is interesting,
because you can actually watch
yourself behaving in this terrible
way, but you can’t control it.
DUKE and GONZO approach the entrance with elaborate care-
taking one step at a time — trying to keep ahead of the drug.
DUKE (V/O)
You approach the turnstiles and
know that when you get there, you
have to give the man two dollars or
he won’t let you inside… but when
you get there, everything goes wrong.
THE ETHER KICKS IN:
DUKE and GONZO BOUNCE off the walls, CRASH into OLD LADIES,
GIGGLE HELPLESSLY as they try to pay — HANDS FLAPPING
CRAZILY, unable to get money out of their pockets.
DUKE (V/O)
Some angry Rotarian shoves you and
you think: What’s happening here?
What’s going on? Then you hear
yourself mumbling.
DUKE
(mumbling)
Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of
mine. Watch out!… Why money? My
name is Brinks; I was born… Born?
GONZO
Get sheep over side… women and
children to armored car… orders
from Captain Zeep.
The ATTENDANTS indulgently escort them through the TURNSTILES.
35.
DUKE (V/O)
Ether is the perfect drug for Las
Vegas. In this town they love a
drunk. Fresh meat. So they put us
through the turnstiles and turned
us loose inside.
INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO – NIGHT
Flames shoot up from below the casino. Above, a HIGH WIRE
ACT with FOUR MUZZLED WOLVERINES, SIX NYMPHET SISTERS FROM
SAN DIEGO, TWO SILVER PAINTED POLACK BROTHERS, and THREE
KOREAN KITTENS.
The WOLVERINE chases a NYMPHET through the air. TWO POLACKS
swing at it from opposite sides and they are instantly
locked in a death battle.
All plummet to the nets suspended over the GAMBLING TABLES
and SLOT MACHINES. No one looks up. The GAMBLERS REMAIN
INTENT ON THE SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL, THE TURN OF THE CARD,
THE ROLL OF A DICE.
DUKE (V/O)
Bazooko Circus is what the whole
hep world would be doing Saturday
night if the Nazis had won the war.
This was the Sixth Reich.
Something causes DUKE to look down. A dwarf carrying drinks
on a tray is tugging DUKE’s pants leg trying to get him to
move out of the way.
DUKE (V/O CONT’D)
A drug person can learn to cope
with things like seeing their dead
grandmother crawling up their leg
with a knife in her teeth but,
nobody should be asked to handle
this trip.
GONZO and DUKE go upstairs walking past funhouse booths.
One of them is manned by an orangutan in costume. A
FAIRGROUND BARKER grabs DUKE.
FAIRGROUND BARKER
Stand in front of this fantastic
machine, my friend. For just 99
cents your likeness will appear 200
hundred feet tall on a screen above
downtown Las Vegas.
On a TV monitor a 200 FOOT HIGH DRUNKARD looms over the Las
Vegas skyline screaming OBSCENITIES.
36.
FAIRGROUND BARKER
99 cents more for a voice message.
Say whatever you want, fella.
They’ll hear you, don’t worry about
that. Remember, you’ll be 200 feet
tall!
ANOTHER BARKER
Step right up! Shoot the pasties
off the nipples of this ten-foot
bull-dyke and win a cotton candy
goat!
INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR – NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO sit on the revolving platform. GONZO
stares — glassy eyed — coming apart.
GONZO
I hate to say this, but this place
is getting to me. I think I’m
getting The Fear.
DUKE
Nonsense. We came here to find the
American Dream, and now we’re right
in the vortex you want to quit.
You must realize that we’ve found
the Main Nerve.
GONZO
That’s what gives me The Fear.
DUKE
Look over there. Two women fucking
a Polar Bear.
GONZO
Please, don’t tell me those things…
Not now.
(signals the waitress
for two Wild Turkeys)
This is my last drink. How much
money can you lend me?
DUKE
Not much. Why?
GONZO
I have to go.
DUKE
GO?
37.
GONZO
Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
DUKE
Calm down. You’ll be straight in a
few hours.
GONZO
No. This is serious. One more
hour in this town and I’ll kill
somebody!
DUKE
OK. I’ll lend you some money.
Let’s go outside and see how much
we have left.
GONZO
Can we make it?
DUKE
That depends on how many people we
fuck with between here and the door.
GONZO
I want to leave fast.
DUKE
OK. Lets pay this bill and get up
very slowly. It’s going to be a
long walk.
(signals waitress who
comes over)
GONZO
(suddenly to waitress)
Do they pay you to screw that bear?
WAITRESS
What?
DUKE
He’s just kidding.
(to GONZO)
Come on, Doc — lets go downstairs
and gamble.
GONZO trembles with fear — walks to the edge of the
turntable.
GONZO
When does this thing stop?
38.
DUKE
It won’t stop. It’s not ever going
to stop.
DUKE carefully steps off the turntable.
GONZO, eyes staring blindly ahead, squiting in fear and
confusion, rooted to the spot, is carried away.
DUKE
Don’t move you’ll come around.
DUKE reaches out to grab GONZO, who jumps back — keeps
going around.
The BARTENDER narrows his eyes at them.
DUKE steps onto the merry-go-round — hurries round the
bar — approaching GONZO from the blind side and shoves
GONZO from behind. GONZO goes down with a hellish scream.
DUKE approaches him with his hands in the air. Smiling.
DUKE
You fell. Let’s go.
GONZO refuses to move and stands tense, fists clenched,
looking for somebody to hit…an old woman perhaps?
DUKE (CONT’D)
OK. You stay here and go to jail.
I’m leaving.
DUKE walks fast towards the stairs. GONZO catches up with
him.
GONZO
Did you see that? Some sonofabitch
kicked me in the back.
DUKE
Probably the bartender. He wanted
to stomp you for what you said to
the waitress.
GONZO
Good God! Let’s get out of here!
Where’s the elevator?
DUKE
(turning him in the
opposite direction)
Don’t go near that elevator.
That’s just what they want us to
do… trap us in a steel box and
take us down to the basement.
39.
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO – NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO stumble out of the entrance.
DUKE
Don’t run. They’d like any excuse
to shoot us.
GONZO
(in an extended fall)
You drive! I think there’s
something wrong with me.
INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR… DUKE TAKING
CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.
GONZO STRUGGLES with the key in the lock.
GONZO
Those bastards have changed the
lock on us. They probably searched
the room. Jesus, we’re finished!
The door SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN. DUKE AND GONZO fall inside.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
GONZO
Bolt everything! Use all chains!
DUKE locks the door. The suite is crowded with ROOM SERVICE
GOODIES. DUKE turns to see GONZO staring at two hotel room
keys. EVERYTHING STOPS.
GONZO
Where did this one come from?
DUKE snatches a key.
DUKE
That’s Lacerda’s room.
GONZO smiles a slow smile…
GONZO
Yeah… I thought we might need it…
DUKE
What for?
GONZO snatches the key back.
40.
GONZO
Let’s go up there and blast him out
of bed with the fire hose.
DUKE
No, we should leave the poor
bastard alone. I get the feeling
that he’s avoiding us for some
reason.
GONZO
Don’t kid yourself. That Portuguese
son of a bitch is dangerous. He’s
watching us like a hawk.
DUKE
He told me he was turning in early…
GONZO utters an anguished cry — slaps the wall with both
hands.
GONZO
That dirty bastard! I knew it!
He’s got hold of my woman!
DUKE
(laughing)
That little blonde groupie with the
film crew? You think he sodomized
her?
GONZO
That’s right, laugh about it! You
goddamn honkies are all the same!
GONZO SLASHES A GRAPEFRUIT with a HUGE RAZOR SHARP HUNTING
KNIFE. DUKE blanches.
DUKE
Where’d you get that knife?
GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT — MANIACAL.
GONZO
Room service sent it up. I wanted
something to cut the limes.
GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT — INTO EIGHTHS!
DUKE
What limes?
GONZO SLICES — SIXTEENTHS!
41.
GONZO
They didn’t have any. They don’t
grow in the desert.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!
GONZO
That dirty toad bastard! I knew I
should have taken him out when I
had the chance. Now he has her.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!
DUKE watches — straight-faced.
DUKE (V/O)
I remember the girl. We’d had a
problem with her in the elevator a
few hours earlier: my attention had
made a fool of himself.
INT. ELEVATOR – DAY (FLASHBACK)
An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF
LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.
DUKE and GONZO stagger in.
LACERDA drops his smile. He’s standing beside the BLONDE TV
REPORTER. A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.
BLONDE TV REPORTER
(to Gonzo)
You must be a rider. What class
are you in?
GONZO
Class? What the fuck do you mean?
BLONDE TV REPORTER
What do you ride? We’re filming
the race for a TV series — maybe
we can use you.
GONZO
Use me?
DUKE (V/O)
Mother of God, I thought. Here it
comes.
GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY. There’s a moment of uncomfortable
silence.
42.
GONZO
(suddenly shouting)
I ride the BIG ONES! The really
BIG fuckers!
GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA. DUKE laughs trying to
defuse the scene.
DUKE
The Vincent Black Shadow. We’re
with the Factory Team.
TV CAMERAMAN
Bullshit.
GONZO stills — becomes dangerous — zeros in on the TV
CAMERAMAN — groin to groin…
GONZO
Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but
I think there’s some kind of
ignorant chicken-sucker in this car
who needs his face cut open. You
cheap honky faggots! Which one of
you wants to get cut?!
DEAD SILENCE.
Ding! The elevator door opens, but nobody moves. The door
closes.
Next floor. Ding! The door opens again. A middle-aged
couple start to get in. Change their minds. The door closes.
INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
DUKE and GONZO run down the corridor. GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.
GONZO
Spooked! They were spooked! Like
rats in a death cage!
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – DAY
DUKE and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite — BOLT THE DOOR.
GONZO stops laughing.
GONZO
Goddamn. It’s serious now. That
girl understood. She fell in love
with me.
END FLASHBACK.
43.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE —
sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.
GONZO
Let’s go up there and castrate that
fucker!
GONZO pauses — A MAD THOUGHT — turns to DUKE.
GONZO
(squinting suspiciously)
Have you made a deal with him? Did
you put him on to her?
DUKE
(backing slowly
towards the door)
Look you better put that blade away
and get your head straight. I have
to put the car in the lot.
DUKE (V/O)
One of the things you learn, after
years of dealing with drug people,
is that you can turn your back on a
person, but never turn your back on
a drug. Especially when it’s
waving a razor-sharp hunting knife
in your eyes.
INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL
The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Las Vegas at dawn. The racers are
still asleep, the dust is still on
the desert, fifty thousand dollars
in prize money, slumbers darkly in
the office safe at Del Webb’s
fabulous Mint Hotel…
DUKE walks past the REPORTER — into THE CASINO, THE SAD,
MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES. No joy. DUKE watches.
DUKE (V/O)
Who are these people? These faces!
Where do they come from? They look
like caricatures of used car
dealers from Dallas.
(MORE)
44.
DUKE (V/O; CONT’D)
And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell
of a lot of them at four-thirty on
a Monday morning. Still humping
the American dream, that vision of
the big winner somehow emerging
from the last minute predawn chaos
of a stale Vegas casino.
DUKE stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill
on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.
DUKE
You bastards!
DUKE (V/O)
No. Calm down. Learn to ENJOY
losing.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE walks back into the room. We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF
THREE DOG NIGHT’S “JOY TO THE WORLD.”
He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM – NIGHT
Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub.
Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface. A
large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor. The
shower is on — the tub overflowing. THE TAPE RECORDER
PLAYS, from where it’s plugged into the razor socket over
the sink.
DUKE turns off the shower — notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED
UP WHITE BLOTTER.
DUKE
You ate ALL THIS ACID?
No answer.
DUKE
(turning down the volume)
You evil son of a bitch. You
better hope there’s some Thorazine
in that bag, because if there’s
not, you’re in bad trouble.
GONZO
Music! Turn it up. Put that tape
on.
45.
DUKE
What tape?
GONZO
Jefferson Airplane. “White Rabbit.”
I want a rising sound.
DUKE
You’re doomed. I’m leaving here in
two hours and then they’re going to
come up here and beat the mortal
shit out of you with big saps.
Right there in that tub.
GONZO
I dig my own graves. Green water
and the White Rabbit. Put it on.
DUKE
OK. But do me one last favor, will
you. Can you give me two hours?
That’s all I ask — just two hours
to sleep before tomorrow. I
suspect it’s going to be a very
difficult day.
He switches on the tape. “WHITE RABBIT” begins to build.
GONZO
(coolly)
Of course, I’m your attorney, I’ll
give you all the time you need, at
my normal rates: $45 an hour — but
you’ll be wanting a cushion, so,
why don’t you just lay one of those
$100 bills down there beside the
radio, and fuck off?
DUKE
How about a check?
GONZO
Whatever’s right.
DUKE moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and
leaves, closing the door behind him.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE goes across to the sofa and crashes — exhausted.
Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.
GONZO (V/O)
Help! You bastard! I need help!
46.
DUKE JUMPS up — crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.
DUKE
Shit, he’s killing himself!
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
DUKE RUSHES IN. GONZO flails — trying to reach the radio
with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its
mounts.
GONZO
(snarling)
I want that fucking radio!
DUKE GRABS THE RADIO.
DUKE
Don’t touch it! Get back in that
tub!
GONZO
Back the tape up. I need it again!
Let it roll! Just as high as the
fucker can go! And when it comes
to that fantastic note where the
rabbit bites its own head off, I
want you to THROW THAT FUCKING
RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!
DUKE stares down at GONZO.
DUKE
Not me. It would blast you through
the wall — stone dead in ten
seconds and they’d make me explain
it!
GONZO
BULLSHIT! Don’t make me use this.
HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.
DUKE
Jesus.
GONZO
Do it! I want to get HIGHER!
DUKE considers this. He’s had enough.
47.
DUKE
Okay. You’re right. This is
probably the only solution.
(holds the PLUGGED IN
TAPE/RADIO over the tub)
Let me make sure I have it all
lined up. You want me to throw
this thing into the tub when “WHITE
RABBIT” peaks. Is that it?
GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.
GONZO
Fuck yes. I was beginning to think
I was going to have to go out and
get one of the goddamn maids to do
it.
DUKE
Are you ready?
He switches “WHITE RABBIT” back on. GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS
AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.
Meanwhile, DUKE picks up a grapefruit from the sink — a
good two-pounder, he gets a grip on it… and when “WHITE
RABBIT” peaks… HE HURLS IT INTO THE TUB LIKE A CANNONBALL.
GONZO SCREAMS CRAZILY, THRASHING AND CHURNING — CAUSING A
TIDAL WAVE.
DUKE JERKS THE RADIO CABLE OUT OF THE SOCKET — SLAMS OUT OF
THE BATHROOM.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE slumps onto the sofa.
SILENCE.
GONZO RIPS OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, his eyes unfocused. HE
WAVES THE RAZOR SHARP BLADE out in front of him — LUNGES at
DUKE. DUKE WHIPS OUT A CAN OF MACE.
DUKE
MACE! YOU WANT THIS?
GONZO stops — hisses.
GONZO
You bastard! You’d do that,
wouldn’t you?
48.
DUKE
(laughs)
Why worry? You’ll like it. Nothing
in the world like a Mace high.
Forty-five minutes on your knees
with the dry heaves…
GONZO
You cheap honky sonofabitch…
DUKE
Why not? Hell, just a minute ago,
you were asking me to kill you!
And now you want to kill me! What
I should do, goddamnit, is call the
police!
GONZO
The cops?
DUKE
There’s no choice. I wouldn’t dare
go to sleep with you wandering
around with a head full of acid and
wanting to slice me up with that
goddamn knife!
GONZO
(mumbles)
Who said anything about slicing you
up? I just wanted to carve a
little Z on your forehead. Nothing
serious.
GONZO shrugs and reaches for a cigarette on top of the TV set.
DUKE
(menaces him with the MACE)
Get back in that tub. Eat some
reds and try to calm down. Smoke
some grass, shoot some smack —
shit, do whatever you have to do,
but let me get some rest.
GONZO turns toward the bathroom — suddenly sad.
GONZO
Hell, yes. You really need some
sleep. You have to work. Goddamn.
What a bummer. Try to rest. Don’t
let me keep you up.
49.
GONZO shuffles back into the bathroom. DUKE wedges a chair
up against the bathroom doorknob and puts the mace can next
to the clock.
DUKE turns on the TV. WHITE NOISE FILLS THE ROOM. He
collapses onto the sofa and lights up his lightbulb as pipe.
DUKE (V/O)
Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.
Just another ugly refugee from the
Love Generation.
The WHITE NOISE snow storm on the TV is reflected in his
face. The camera pulls back revealing THE ENTIRE WALL
BEHIND HIM TO BE SWIRLING WITH THE FIZZING SNOWSTORM PATTERN.
DUKE (V/O)
My attorney had never been able to
accept the notion — often espoused
by former drug abusers — that you
can get a lot higher without drugs
than with them. And neither have
I, for that matter.
The pattern on the wall changes to A 60’S VISCOUS OIL
LIGHTSHOW PATTERN. With DUKE still sitting in the
foreground, the projected image widens to reveal the interior
of A HAIGHT ASHBURY DANCE HALL full of DANCING PROTO-HIPPIES.
INT. MATRIX CLUB – NIGHT
A slightly YOUNGER DUKE moves through the throng. All the
action is in a DREAMLIKE SLOW-MOTION.
DUKE (V/O)
I recall one night in the Matrix.
There I was — a victim of the Drug
Explosion. A natural street freak,
just eating whatever came by.
A ROAD-PERSON with a big pack on his back is shouting. The
sound of his voice, like his movements, is in slow-motion.
ROAD-PERSON
Anybody want some L…S…D…? I
got all the makin’s right here.
All I need is a place to cook.
The camera pushes right into the ROAD-PERSON’s mouth.
INT. MATRIX MEN’S ROOM – NIGHT
Still in slow motion, the YOUNGER DUKE is trying to eat a
HUGE SPANSULE OF ACID. With difficulty.
50.
DUKE (V/O)
I decided to eat only half at first.
Good thinking. But I spilled the
rest on the sleeve of my red
Pendleton shirt.
DUKE stares at his sleeve, uncertain what to do. C/U of the
door to the men’s room as a MUSICIAN enters speaking in
slow-motion.
MUSICIAN
What’s the trouble?
DUKE
(also in slow-motion)
Well, all this white stuff on my
sleeve is LSD.
The MUSICIAN approaches and looks down at DUKE’S arm. A
long pause.
Cut back to tight shot of door as it opens and a very clean-
cut, PREPPY, STOCKBROKER TYPE enters. He freezes in horror.
We cut to his POV. DUKE is standing in the middle of the
men’s room with the MUSICIAN hunkered down at his side…
sucking on his sleeve. A very gross tableau. The
STOCKBROKER slowly eases out of the room.
DUKE (V/O)
With a bit of luck his life was
ruined — forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door in all
his favorite bars, men in red
Pendleton shirts are getting
incredible kicks from things he’ll
never know.
INT. A BAR – YEARS LATER – NIGHT
The STOCKBROKER LOOKING CONSIDERABLY OLDER sits looking
lost, confused, a nervous wreck. The image flares out in a
TV white noise snowstorm.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE sits staring at the TV.
51.
DUKE (V/O)
Strange memories on this nervous
night in Las Vegas.
(he gets up, pours
himself a drink)
Has it been five years? Six? It
seems like a lifetime — the kind
of peak that never comes again.
San Francisco in the middle sixties
was a very special time and place
to be a part of. But no
explanation, no mix of words or
music or memories can touch that
sense of knowing that you were
there and alive in that corner of
time and the world. Whatever it
meant.
DUKE throws open the curtains. Light streams in.
EXT. 1965 STOCK FOOTAGE
We are in SAN FRANCISCO. IMAGES OF THE TIME FLOOD IN.
DUKE (V/O)
THERE WAS MADNESS IN ANY DIRECTION,
AT ANY HOUR… YOU COULD STRIKE
SPARKS ANYWHERE. THERE WAS A
FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL SENSE THAT
WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT,
THAT WE WERE WINNING. AND THAT, I
THINK, WAS THE HANDLE — THAT SENSE
OF INEVITABLE VICTORY OVER THE
FORCES OF OLD AND EVIL. NOT IN ANY
MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE; WE DIDN’T
NEED THAT. OUR ENERGY WOULD SIMPLY
prevail. We had all the momentum;
we were riding the crest of a high
and beautiful wave…
DUKE’S FACE IS SUFFUSED WITH A SADNESS AND SERENITY WE HAVE
NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
DUKE (V/O)
So now, less than five years later,
you can go up on a steep hill in
Las Vegas and look west, and with
the right kind of eyes you can
almost see the high water mark —
that place where the wave finally
broke and rolled back.
52.
The memories dissolve into the night skyline of Vegas.
Suddenly towering over the casinos is a 200 foot high Nazi
shouting “WOODSTOCK ÜBER ALLES!”
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
DUKE closes the curtain. The room is in darkness again.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE – DAWN
A harsh door buzzer. DUKE jerks awake. Alone. Looking
like shit. Around him is the wreckage of their stay.
DUKE (V/O)
The decision to flee came suddenly.
Or maybe not.
DUKE opens the door to a BELL BOY with a trolley load of
fruit, drinks and flowers… and a smile.
BELL BOY
Room service!
The BELL BOY wheels the trolley across the room — already
stacked with EVEN MORE BOXES OF GOODIES.
DUKE (V/O)
Maybe I’d planned it all along —
subconsciously waiting for the
right moment. The bill was a
factor, I think. Because I had no
money to pay for it.
DUKE slams the door — starts FRANTICALLY PACKING.
DUKE (V/O)
Our room service tabs had been
running somewhere between $29 and
$36 per hour, for forty-eight
consecutive hours. Incredible.
How could it happen?
DUKE sees the DISCARDED WRAPPINGS OF EXPENSIVE, HAND TOOLED
LUGGAGE. A sudden thought. He rushes to GONZO’s room —
empty. His plastic briefcase remains on the bed…
DUKE (V/O)
But by the time I asked this
question, there was no one around
to answer.
DUKE opens the briefcase — finds the .357 MAGNUM inside.
53.
