Cry Baby
Transcript written by and used with the courtesey of Angela Sugden
Mr Malnorowski Get your cigarettes. Penny a piece. Six for a nickel.
Mrs Malnorowski You owe me from yesterday, young man.
Student Please, look, I’ll pay you tomorrow.
Mrs Malnorowski Wouldn’t you like to have one?
Student Oh, come on, just a drag. Just a drag!
Mrs Malnorowski No cash, no tobacco. Go on, scram. Hey, Mona! Get over here and help your poor mother.
Mrs Woodward Hi, kids. Remember, always look both ways before crossing.
Wanda Mother!
Mrs Woodward We’re having your favourite supper tonight, Wanda. Potatoes au gratin. Now walk. Look left, look right. That’s right, then walk. Good teenagers.
Milton Are you gonna work this summer?
Mr Woodward Wanda, honey. You want a ride home with Dad?
Wanda I got a lift. Thanks, anyway.
Mr Woodward We could count out-of-state licence plates. I saw one this morning all the way up from Virginia.
Wanda Dad, would you just leave me alone?
Mr Woodward Bye, honey.
Allison I’m so tired of being good. Hi.
Cry-Baby Well. You’re a pretty little Square. Wanna hang out with us Drapes tonight?
Mrs Vernon Williams Allison Vernon Williams, get in this car.
Baldwin What’s the trouble, honey? These hoodlums bothering you?
Allison No, no, we were just talking. Grandmother, Baldwin, this is Wade Walker.
Cry-Baby They call me Cry-Baby. This here’s my sister, Pepper.
Pepper Greetings, Granny-o.
Baldwin Allison’s my girl, so hands off, Cry-Baby.
Cry-Baby You could’ve fooled me, Square. Mrs Vernon Williams, I hear you’re having a talent show out at your charm school today.
Mrs Vernon Williams I can barely imagine what you would call music.
Cry-Baby I can sing pretty good.
Mrs Vernon Williams Well”, not “good”. Haven’t you ever heard of the English language?
Pepper Don’t go and flip out, mama.
Hatchet-Face Yeah. Sometimes shook-up old ladies… get cut.
Baldwin Come on, honey. They’re just bums.
Wanda Mr Puniverse wants a fat lip.
Allison I’d like to hear you sing.
Mrs Vernon Williams I will say this once, and once only. Stay away from my granddaughter, you common juvenile delinquents.
Allison It was nice talking to you all.
Cry-Baby Let’s go.
Mrs Vernon Williams The prettiest and most talented girl in school, and yet she socializes with Drapes.
Baldwin We’re Squares, Allison, and Squares got to stick together.
Allison Yeah, but Drapes are people too, they just look different. Maybe Cry-Baby can sing. Something cool, something hep.
Mrs Vernon Williams And where did you learn those vulgar jazz words? Your poor dead parents would turn over in their graves.
Baldwin It’s those jukebox records she listens to. Honey, his kind of music isn’t even on the Hit Parade.
Allison How can I think when you’re always touching me?
Mrs Vernon Williams I have told you, Baldwin, a young lady does not like to be pawed.
Cry-Baby & Wanda (singing) The women want a Cadillac, She don’t want no man, I used to have a woman, Said she loved me so, I used to have a woman, Said she loved me so…
Pepper I think Cry-Baby’s got a girlfriend.
Milton Cry-Baby and Allison sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Cry-Baby Shut up, Milton.
Wanda Hey, Hatchet-Face, you think Cry-Baby’s got blue balls for the chick?
Hatchet-Face Allison’s a Square, Wanda. Cry-Baby don’t dig Squares.
Pepper No, she’s a “Scrape”. Part Square, part Drape. I think she’s pretty.
Wanda Cry-Baby want some hooch?
Cry-Baby I don’t drink and drive.
Mrs Vernon Williams You’re too young to know the shameful truth about the Walker boy’s family. But let me warn you, evil is in his blood.
Cry-Baby, Pepper, Wanda, Milton & Hatchet-Face (singing) Oh, please, listen to me…
Baldwin Move up, now.
Mrs Vernon Williams That’s not funny.
Cry-Baby (singing) Why I love that girl, love that girl. Hold me, baby, squeeze me. Never let me go. I’m not taking chances…
Baldwin You’re a dead man, Walker.
Cry-Baby, Pepper, Wanda, Milton & Hatchet-Face (singing) Oh, gee. Yes, I love her.
Baldwin Car!
Cry-Baby (singing) …why I love that girl.
Mrs Vernon Williams Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen… and welcome to the annual RSVP Talent Show.
Audience Good afternoon, Mrs Vernon Williams.
Mrs Vernon Williams First I must apologise for my frazzled nerves. However, this afternoon we were attacked… by a gang of juvenile delinquents. It’s all right. No one was injured. Juvenile delinquents are everywhere. Right here in this community. Boys with long hair and tattoos, who spit on the sidewalk.
Old Woman Can’t believe it.
Woman How disgusting.
Mrs Vernon Williams Girls, who wear tight slacks. Hysterectomy pants, I call them. And if one of these creatures ever approach you on the street, you are to silently repeat to yourself the four “B’s” you learned here at RSVP. And what are they children, the four “B’s”?
Audience Beauty, brains, breeding, bounty!
Mrs Vernon Williams Yes! Yes!
Mr Hackett Teenagers everywhere repent! Let Jesus Christ be your gang leader! Get out of Turkey Point before it’s too late.
Toe-Joe Oh, take it easy, honey. I’m not getting any younger here, you know. That is what I call a really great shape. Knockers up, sweetheart. Here it is! Beautiful. All right, here you go, honey pot. Thanks for the picture. All right, who’s up? Toe-Joe Jackson’s art photography right here! Be a nudie-cutie, make good money to bootie. Hey, I’m paying three bucks a shot. You got it, what the hell, why not show it, right? Hey, you. Yeah, you, the looker with the class-A sealed-beam headlights. You want to pose for Toe-Joe?
Wanda Beat it, creep.
Mrs Hackett Here he comes now, with that devil woman.
Hatchet-Face Hi, Mrs Hackett.
Mr Hackett Imagine our shame. Our only child, and he carries illegal weapons, drives fast cars, and wears clothes obviously designed by homosexuals. But he knows better. Jesus is still in his heart.
Milton Jeez, Mom and Dad, go home. You’re embarrassing me. I’m a teenager. I wanna live. Looks like somebody lost their laundry.
Lenora Hello, Cry-Baby. You scorch me, man.
Cry-Baby Later, Lenora.
Lenora Oh, but, Cry-Baby, I need a date for tonight’s Jukebox Jamboree.
Cry-Baby Well, I’m solo, sugar.
Lenora Wanna see these gun-boats? I give, Cry-Baby. I give bare second on the first date.
Cry-Baby Use your mentality and cool down.
Wanda Yeah, Lenora, your bosoms ain’t nothing.
Hatchet-Face Better watch it, bozo. You might catch a cold.
Pepper My brother wouldn’t touch your titties with a ten foot pole. He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap.
Baldwin (singing) Life could be a dream. If I could take you up in paradise up above. If you would tell me, I’m the only one that you love. Life could be a dream, sweetheart.
Whiffles (singing) Hello, hello again. Sh boom, I’m hoping we’ll meet again.
Baldwin (singing) Oh, life could be a dream. If only all my precious plans would come true. If you would let me spend my whole life loving you. Life could be a dream, sweetheart.
Baldwin & Whiffles (singing) Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom, sh boom. Sh boom. Now, every time I look at you. Something is on my mind. If you’d do what I want to you. Baby, we’d be so fine. Oh, life could be a dream. If I could take you up in paradise up above. If you would tell me I’m the only one that you love.
Baldwin (singing) Life could be a dream, sweetheart.
