Taxi Driver
Oh, yeah? Maniac! What the hell are you doing?! Sorry about that. Well, I’d like to hear about your problem, but the ride’s over. That’ll be three-fifty. I hope your problem’s got nothing to do with my three-fifty.
Gene
No, no.
Taxi Driver
What, you writing a cheque?
Gene
Thank you very much.
Taxi Driver
All right. Thank you.
Doorman
I got you, sir. Right here. I got one for the airport. You free?
Taxi Driver
You betcha. Public accountant? What the hell’d I need with an accountant? Hello.
Man
Hey.
Workman 1
Ben! Ben! Coming on down. Coming in.
Workman 2
Let it go!
Gene
Oh, shit. Excuse me. Can you tell me where the Emerald Bay Room is?
Gustino
Third floor. Yellow stairwell. Follow the signs.
Gene
Thank you.
Gustino
No problem.
Brendan
The governor and I have an enormous admiration for people like you. . . I’m sorry. You okay?
Gene
Yeah.
Brendan
Sure? Nice body-check. Anyway, it’s illuminating, it’s inspiring. . .
Gene
Excuse me, ma’am, is the thing over?
Woman
You didn’t miss anything. The food, soggy pancakes. . .
Gene
I guess the governor’s gone.
Woman
Nice speech. You know. It’s the same at all these things.
Smith
Okay. Just check that itinerary and move along. It’s right here.
Gene
That says ‘invitation only’.
Smith
See, you’re a big donor to the campaign. Of course you’re invited. They love you. That’ll get you in anywhere.
Gene
Who are you?
Smith
I’m the guy’s gonna kill your daughter if you don’t get moving.
Eleanor
Nobody heard a word I said. The mike was too low on the podium.
Ms Brooks
How much did we pay for that room?
Franco
We didn’t.
Eleanor
Well somebody did. Make sure you have Melvin pre-check the PA system.
Franco
Excuse me, sir. This elevator’s for the governor. You can take the next one.
Eleanor
No, no, no. Don’t you dare, Franco. This is one of our biggest contributors. Look at the name tag. Come on in, it’s okay. Hi, Eleanor Grant, gubernational incumbent. It’s a mouthful, isn’t it? I love saying it. Whose idea was it to schedule lunch right after brunch?
Ms Brooks
We’ll just walk through, we’ll do a little grip and grin. And we’ll get ready for the press.
Gene
Governor?
Eleanor
Yes.
Gene
I need your help.
Eleanor
What can I do for you, Mr, er, Watson?
Gene
It’s about my daughter… Now, my daugh. . .
Smith
Got room in there for one more?
Eleanor
Well I think we can accommodate one more.
Smith
Pleasure, Governor.
Eleanor
Well, thank you very much. Erm, you were saying. . . Your daughter. Yes?
Gene
Well. . . She just wanted me to be sure that I got your, um, autograph.
Eleanor
Of course! I wish everything were that easy.
Ms Brooks
I’ve got the pen if you’ve got the paper. How about that? That something precious?
Gene
No.
Eleanor
Um, her name? Her name?
Gene
L. . . Lynn. Her name’s Lynn.
Ms Brooks
You know, it’s funny, I don’t even keep a pad of paper with me any more. Everything’s gone so electronic.
Eleanor
Are you all right? I know, elevators make me queasy too. Here. Good luck. All right, here we go guys. Let’s go. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
Smith
She was right in front of you.
Gene
Listen to me. . .
Smith
What’s wrong with you? Are you fucking with me? Are you fucking with me? Get up there.
Gene
The gun isn’t loaded.
Smith
It’s not? Give it to me. Give me the gun! You don’t get chances like that. Mr Watson. That’s the way life works. Turn around. Now look at that. Huh? You see that? Do not blow the next one. Hear me? All right. It’s loaded. It’s ready, for the hunt, and so are we. Sorry I hit you.
Gene
Yeah.
Smith
Breathe deep. Let’s go.
Gene
I think I need a restroom.
Smith
It’s that way.
Chinese Man
(talking Chinese)
Huey
You having a rough day? Down at the heels, as they say? You don’t see your face, you don’t pay. What you need is a shoeshine.
Jones
That’s pretty good.
Lynn
I’ve done much better ones than this.
Jones
You have, huh?
Lynn
Oh, yes. I’ll show you. I have much more colours at home.
Jones
Well, that’s good. That’s good, Sweetie-Pie.
Smith
Let’s go.
Huey
Shoeshine. Shoeshine today. Hey, hey, shoeshine. Take ten. Take a break. Take a seat. Take a load off. What you need is a shoeshine. Shoe shining day. Come on. Take ten. Take a break. Take a load off. Put the world in perspective. So, are you a visitor?
Gene
No, no I’m just visiting.
Huey
What do you do? If, I may be so bold.
Gene
Sorry, what?
Huey
What do you do?
Gene
I’m an accountant.
Huey
Well, don’t denigrate yourself, my friend. Where would the government be without accountants? They wouldn’t know how hard they could squeeze us, until we popped. Isn’t that right? Now, you take tips. Time was, a tip was between a man and his customer. Not anymore. They’ve figured out what they call, a formula. They take your sales see, and slap a percentile on that figure. And somewhere between your lies and your bad luck, they’ll hit on the ‘mean amount’, mean meaning in the middle. But if you ask me it just means plain mean. You can have Uncle Scrooge wring a nickel over your palm, or Daddy Warbucks dropping pearl stickpins, don’t make no difference. They’ll tax your behind according to that same formula. Doesn’t seem quite right, does it?
Gene
No, it doesn’t.
Porter
Hey, Mr Huey. How’s it going today?
Huey
Well, it’s a load, my friend. But somebody’s got to carry it.
Gene
Sir. Sir. I need your help.
Huey
What’s that? You’ll have to speak up.
Gene
There’s a little girl in a van. She’s my daughter.
Huey
I’m, I’m a little deaf in this ear. I mean, between that and my wooden leg, I’m all messed up. Compliments of the United States Army, Artillery Corps.
Gene
Listen to me. A man and a woman were at the train. They showed me a badge and then they took her away from me. They took her because they want me to do something for them, do you understand? She’s in trouble.
Huey
I’ll have you out of here in a few shakes.
Gene
Please, I don’t have much time. I need your help. He’s watching me.
Huey
Who’s watching you?
Gene
The man.
Huey
You know, for a quality shoe, you can’t beat a good wing-tip. No, sir, it wears like iron. No you’re a, you’re a wise man, you know? There you go. Two bucks’ll do you. You got anything smaller?
Gene
Keep it.
Huey
Well, that’s a twenty.
Gene
It’s fine, keep it.
Huey
Well, thank you.
Gene
What street is that?
Huey
That’s Flower. Just go out past the bar. Takes you right out there.
Gene
Do me a favour. If anything were to happen to me, remember the van. She’s in the van.
Smith
Ten minutes, you get another chance.
Gene
Good. Then I’ve time to get a drink.
Smith
All right. Make it just one, Mr Watson, wouldn’t want to lose you.
Man 1
So, where was I?
Man 2
Something about the governor’s new regime.
Man 1
Oh, yeah, yeah. She’s dumping the good old boys faster than yesterday’s newspapers.
Man 2
It’s no wonder they’re howling.
Man 1
They had no idea she was gonna turn into this flaming Liberal.
Man 2
They’re pisses, huh?
Man 1
She’s turned the governor’s office into the United Nations. You don’t think they’re gonna make her pay?
Man 2
Fuck with this bunch, they could blow your ass to kingdom-come.
Man 1
That’s right. The only people not on her staff, are those ones still lost in the rainforest. I’m serious, I’m serious. Who are these people? They don’t represent you and me.
Jones
Ssh, ssh, ssh. You’ll wake the baby up. What we have here, is what they call a Mexican Stand-Off. Now, the thing you’ve gotta ask yourself is, what’s behind the seat? Now, a twenty-two’d go right through it. But even a button’ll throw a twenty-two off, so there is a good chance that it could get screwed up somewhere along the way and miss the target. What about a thirty-eight? Well, a thirty-eight will drill pretty straight, unless, of course, it hits metal. Then it’s gonna bust up into little biddy pieces. It’ll keep going. But it’ll get slowed down quite a bit. How’s about a three-fifty-seven? Now that’ll go through the seat, her, the dashboard. Shit, it’ll go through the entire engine block before it even knows it hit anything. It’ll end up in some pedestrian three blocks away. What do you think? What’s my poison? Huh? Well, it’s a comfort to know you’ve got the cajones to pull that thing out. Whether or not you’ve got the balls to pull the trigger, we’ve still gotta see. Close the door. It’s hot outside. He’s coming back in.
Smith
I got him, in the cross-hairs.
Gene
Excuse me, pool deck, where’s the pool deck?
Porter
Fourth floor. Take that escalator.
Gene
Thanks very much.
White
Take positions near the stage area. Keep your eyes open. Let’s have a safe day.
Officer
You got it.
Security Guard 1
Sir, do you have metal in there?
Man
Er, just my keys.
Security Guard 1
May I see them? Thank you.
Security Guard 2
Sir, I can take you down here. You don’t have to wait, I can take you up here. Come on. Sir. Yes, you. I can take you down here. Come on down. Come on. Okay, you’re all done. Move on now. Right here.
Officer
Sir, they’re all in place.
White
Best we check the entryway over here.
Gene
Officer.
Smith
I know what you’re thinking. You’re like a worm on a hook, wriggling around thinking you might get off.
Gene
What would you do?
Smith
She’d be dead. You do what you’re supposed to do, young man. You do it now. Whoa, what’re you doing?
Gene
Officer.
White
Yeah?
Gene
There’s a plot to kill the governor. Now, if you don’t believe me, you can check that man right there. He has a gun.
White
So do you, Mr Watson. You got this under control, Smitty?
Smith
Yeah.
White
Sure doesn’t look like it.
Smith
Well, it’s under control.
White
Yeah. Well, it’d better be, ‘cos I’m running out of these.
Smith
I ought to throw you after that walkie-talkie but, I’m gonna give you a break ‘cos you’re amateur.
Waiter
Gentlemen?
Smith
Yeah, thanks.
Gene
No, thank you.
Smith
Have a cracker, Mr Watson. Thank you. You got spunk. There was this guy, big guy, Irish-Italian, red face, black hair, jolly son of a bitch. Wait a second. Nobody could make me laugh like him. He made a science of collecting jokes. Closed more bars together than I could count. Now, he was a pal. I loved the crazy Mick. I’m not ashamed to say that, but, he was a fuck-up. He had this image of himself. He thought he was a, a con-man. Always trying to shave the edge. He was nickel and dime. I’ll always miss him. Tell me why.
Gene
Tell you why what?
Smith
Tell me why I miss him.
Gene
He’s dead?
Smith
That’s right, he is dead. But tell me why.
Gene
How do I know? I don’t. . . I. . .
Smith
Tell me why he’s dead.
Gene
‘Cos you killed him.
Smith
That’s right, I did. I killed him. He fucked up one too many times, so, I put a bullet in his eye, then I put two more into him just to make sure. Now, that was somebody I loved. I loved him. But, I got the call, I put him down like a sick animal. So, if you got doubts about what’s gonna happen, if you don’t deliver, let me tell you something. I’ll make gravy out of your little girl, just to season that black Irish cocksucker’s meat. You do what you’re supposed to do, young man. You do it now.
Announcer
May I have your attention, please. May I have your attention. Let’s give a big warm welcome to the honourable Tom Bradley.
Ms Brooks
Hi.
Gene
Hi.
Ms Brooks
Are you feeling better? The elevator, you weren’t feeling well. Are you better now?
Gene
Oh yeah.
Ms Brooks
Better now?
Gene
Yeah, much better, thanks.
Tom Bradley
I give you now, my friend and yours, Governor Eleanor Grant.
Gene
You know something? My wife, always said I had a problem trusting people.
Eleanor
Thank you, Tom, for that lovely introduction.
Ms Brooks
Well, you can trust Eleanor Samara Grant.
Gene
Yeah. Well, I’m gonna trust you, and you’re gonna trust me.
Ms Brooks
Er, I don’t understand.
Gene
Listen, I don’t want to hurt you, but my little girl needs your help. She’s going to die if you don’t help me.
Ms Brooks
Okay, I’ll help you. Let me, let me just get Mr White. He’s our head of security.
Gene
No, no, everything’s fine, just take a walk with me, just you and me. Right this way.
Eleanor
As it is, this is not the life I want for our children, for myself and for you. . .
Gene
I’m gonna put the gun back in my pocket now, but don’t make a move ‘cos it’s still pointing at you, all right?
Ms Brooks
Okay.
Gene
Just pretend that nothing’s happening. My daughter’s been kidnapped. They say they’re going to kill her if I don’t kill the governor. I don’t wanna do that. But. . .
Ms Brooks
All right, all right. Let’s talk to security.
Gene
No. Can’t talk to security, they’re involved.
Ms Brooks
I don’t see how they could be involved. They’re the best. They’re hand-picked.
Gene
Well, how’d I get in here with this?
