JOHNNY-DEPP.org

Becky

What do you want? Faster.

Gilbert

Okay. I wanna new thing. House. I wanna new house, for the family. I want uh. . . I want Momma to take aerobics classes. I want Ellen to grow up.
I want a new brain for Arnie. I want. . .

Becky

What do you want for you? Just for you.

Gilbert

I wanna be a good person. I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t.

Becky

Okay.

Gilbert

Where’s Arnie? Arnie? Excuse me, ma’am. Have you seen my brother?

Grandma

No.

Gilbert

Shit.

Arnie

I’ll not get bored of that. Who-o-a! Oh, no! Hey!

Sheriff

Come on.

Arnie

Hey! Gilbert, right here.

Sheriff

Back off, son. Come on, now.

Arnie

I did it again!

Rescuer

All right, here we go. There you go.

Gilbert

It’s all right, Jerry, I got him. I get him, Jerry.

Sheriff

We’re taking him in.

Gilbert

It’s not gonna happen again. I promise.

Sheriff

We’ve warned you, we’ve warned your sister, that the next time is gonna be the last time.

Arnie

Flash the lights and play the siren, okay? Play the siren for me.

Ellen

Way to go, Gilbert.

Gilbert

Jerry, listen, you’re gonna, you’re gonna have to take it easy on him.

Sheriff

We’ll take care of him.

Gilbert

You don’t believe me? You gotta keep an eye on him. You gotta watch him.

Sheriff

All right. All right.

Arnie

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Oh, do the siren, do the siren, okay? Do the siren, all right?

Gilbert

I know, Sheriff. I know that, Sheriff. Okay. Asshole.

Ellen

They’re probably just teaching him a lesson, they’re probably just proving a point.

Amy

Yeah, that’s right.

Momma

Get my coat.

Amy

What?

Momma

Get my coat. Get it. Let’s go.

Ellen

Well, at least he’s in a safe place. At least someone’s watching him.

Amy

Ellen, shut up.

Gilbert

You guys wait here. I’ll be right back.

Amy

Momma. Momma, let Gilbert handle this.

Gilbert

Jerry, come on, please.

Police Secretary

Please, have a seat outside.

Gilbert

Please, you gotta let him out.

Officer

You’ve to wait your turn, okay.

Gilbert

I don’t think you guys understand. It’s gonna. . .

Officer

Look, no-one’s going to do a thing until you go and sit down outside. . .

Momma

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry. Jerry, I’ve come for my son.

Man (on Phone)

Sheriff. Sheriff, are you there?

Sheriff

Bonnie, you’ll need to fill out some papers.

Momma

No! No!

Sheriff

Police procedure req. . .

Momma

I want my boy, Jerry.

Sheriff

But, Bonnie, you have to. . .

Momma

My son! Give me my son!

Officer

Come on. You’re going home.

Momma

Sunshine, you’re free! Oh, baby. Don’t disappear like that any more.

Arnie

Okay.

Momma

Promise me.

Arnie

Ma. . .

Momma

You’re free, baby, you’re free. Let’s go home.

Arnie

Hi! Look!

Child 1

That’s why she needs a cane.

Child 2

She’s enormous.

Child 3

Look at her.

Arnie

Momma, they didn’t flash the lights for me either. Flash the lights. Hey! Look at me! I’m hiding. Say, say, “Where’s Arnie?” Say it like that.

Gilbert

Arnie, get down.

Arnie

Gilbert, come find me. “Where’s Arnie?” Hey. That’s my mom in there. My momma. You wanna come play with me up here? Wanna come play with me?

Becky

God, that was so brave what your mother did. You know that, right?

Gilbert

Mm.

Becky

I’d like to meet her.

Gilbert

No, you wouldn’t. Hey, where do you go next? Hm?

Becky

I would like to meet your mom.

Vicar

. . .in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life, we commend to Almighty God, our brother Kenneth Carver. And we commit his body
to the ground. Earth to earth. . . ashes to ashes. . . and dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him. The Lord make his face shine on him and
be gracious to him. The Lord look upon him with favour. . . and give him peace. Lord Jesus, by your death you took away the sting of death.
Grant to us your servants to do follow in faith. . .

Arnie

Hey!

Vicar

. . .when he hath led the way. . .

Arnie

Hey!

Vicar

. . .that we may at length fall asleep. . .

Arnie

Look at here!

Vicar

. . .peacefully in you. . .

Arnie

Look at here!

Vicar

. . .Made from your likeness. . .

Arnie

Look what’s coming!

Vicar

The God of peace who brought again. . .

Arnie

Look, look it’s coming!

Vicar

. . .our Lord, Jesus Christ. . .

Arnie

It’s here. Look, Gilbert.

Vicar

. . .the great shepherd of the sheep. . .

Arnie

It’s here.

Vicar

. . .through the blood of the everlasting covenant. . .

Arnie

It’s a Burger Barn, Gilbert!

Vicar

. . .may be perfect in every. . .

Arnie

It’s a Burger Barn.

Vicar

. . .good work to do his will. . .

Arnie

Gilbert, it’s a Burger Barn.

Vicar

. . .working in that which is well pleasing in his sight.

Arnie

Burger Barn!

Vicar

Through Jesus Christ. Amen.

Arnie

Hey.

Mrs Carver

Boys, you can have anything you want.

Arnie

You could get candy if you want. You can have candy if you want, too.

Mrs Carver

As for me, something with menthol, please.

Arnie

You like gum? Do you like gum? I like gum. Here’s a good kind, here. Take this, you can have it.

Gilbert

Here.

Arnie

Take it. Take it. You want gum, too?

Mrs Carver

We’re going to St.Louis. I can’t stand that house.

Arnie

My friends.

Gilbert

I really am sorry about your hu. . .

Mrs Carver

Ssh. Here, Mommy’ll take care of it. You run on outside. Everybody thinks I killed him. Do you?

Gilbert

No.

Mrs Carver

I miss him. And I don’t. I miss him and I don’t. So, Gilbert. . . what’s to become of you?

Gilbert

Oh, I’ll. . . probably just. . .

Mrs Carver

You haven’t thought about it. Poor Gilbert. All cooped up. Taking care of everybody else, forgetting all about you.

Todd Carver

Mommy.

Mrs Carver

Mm, Mommy is coming in a minute, honey.

Todd Carver

Okay.

Mrs Carver

Concerning my boys. . . I was thinking that if my boys turn out anything like you. . .

Becky

Hi.

Mrs Carver

I was thinking how that would be nice. . . for my boys to be like you. He’s all yours.

Becky

Are you gonna miss her?

Gilbert

Yeah.

Becky

Good.

Grandma

Damn it.

Tucker

So? What do you think?

Gilbert

Wow.

Tucker

Right?

Arnie

Wow.

Tucker

Right? Here, try a milkshake.

Arnie

Mm.

Tucker

Real milk in there.

Gilbert

Mm. You’re kidding?

Tucker

Real milk. Bob. Oh, Bob.

Bobby

Hey! Congratulations. This looks great.

Tucker

Thanks, Bob. Yeah, thanks. Thanks a million.

Bobby

What?

Tucker

Are you trying to depress everybody? You’re gonna ruin everyone’s appetite.

Arnie

Hey, hey. Mike, right? You wanna come to my party tomorrow? I’m gonna be eighteen years old. You wanna come? You can come too, if you want to.
I don’t know you, but you can come.

Burger Barn Man

How nice to see so many of you here on this great day. This day marks the beginning of a new era for Endora, for the Burger Barn family, and, I hope,
for all of you. We at Burger Barn are committed. . . to a very special relationship with you. One that will last and last.

Gilbert

Hi.

Burner Barn Man

At a time when so many things are falling apart, Endora decides to give Burger Barn a chance, a new breath of life.

Becky

She fixed it.

Burger Barn Man

Now the mayor will cut the ribbon.

Becky

The camper’s fixed. And we’re gonna be leaving tomorrow.

Tucker

Whoo!

Arnie

Come on! Please come to my party tomorrow, okay? You can come.

Becky

Okay.

Arnie

Hey!

Grandma

Hi, Arnie.

Becky

So, I’m invited.

Gilbert

Okay.

Becky

Do you not want me to go?

Gilbert

No, I mean. . . Go, if you want.

Becky

Oh, so this is. . . Is this how you want it?

Gilbert

I have to go. Take care, okay?

Becky

Goodbye, Arnie.

Arnie

Oh, no.

Gilbert

Come on, let’s get that bath.

Arnie

No. No!

Momma

Hey, Arnie. Arnie!

Amy

Arnie!

Gilbert

Arnie.

Momma

You gotta take a bath, Arnie.

Gilbert

Arnie.

Arnie

Whoo!

Gilbert

Arnie, you gotta do it, it’s your birthday.

Amy

Argh! Arnie!

Momma

Oh, no.

Amy

Damn it!

Momma

Arnie, no.

Arnie

Uh-oh.

Momma

Oh, God.

Amy

I can’t make another one, I can’t. We have to have a cake, Gilbert.

Tannoy

Attention, Foodland shoppers, remember every day this week is a double-coupon day.

Assistant

Can I help you?

Gilbert

Uh, yeah. Er, my sister called in an order for Grape.

Assistant

Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s inside. There you go. That’ll be nineteen-seventy-five.

Gilbert

Go away, Arnie.

Arnie

Gilbert, what’s in there?

Gilbert

It’s a surprise. Leave it alone.

Arnie

But. . . What’s in that box?

Gilbert

If you touch it, I’m gonna kill you.

Amy

I can’t believe you.

Momma

Look, I’ll enjoy the party from in here. It’ll be fine. I have faith. Everything’ll be just fine.

Amy

What am I supposed to say to people? I mean, it’s Arnie’s eighteenth birthday. Haven’t you been waiting to do this for a long time?
Wasn’t it you that wanted to have this huge party in the first place? I didn’t want to.

Momma

Damn it.

Amy

I can’t believe you. Arnie!

Momma

Oh, man.

Ellen

He’s eating the cake! Arnie!

Amy

That’s it. Forget it.

Ellen

Nice job, Arnie.

Gilbert

Arnie!

Momma

What are we gonna do?

Gilbert

Arnie! Arnie. Come here. Come here! Do you know what that fucking cost? Do you know what I had to do to get that? Come on. No, no, it’s
time for your bath. Get in the bathtub. Get your clothes off.

Arnie

Uh-uh.

Gilbert

Get ’em off! You little shit. Come here. Get in that bath.

Arnie

No, Gilbert, no.

Gilbert

Get your fucking clothes off!

Arnie

No.

Gilbert

Come on.

Arnie

No. Gilbert! No!

Gilbert

Don’t move. Don’t move!

Arnie

Gilbert, stop!

Gilbert

Come on. Ow!

Momma

Gilbert! What did you do?

Arnie

Momma! Momma.

Momma

Arnie? Arnie! What is going on?

Amy

Don’t worry, Momma. Ellen, let’s go.

Grandma

We should call his mother.

Becky

No, no, no, it’s okay. I know, I know where he lives. I can take him. It’s really okay, yeah. Arnie, you wanna go for a walk? You wanna go play,
Arnie? Come on, Arnie.

Arnie

I don’t want to.

Becky

Merrily, merrily. . . come on Arnie, you can do it. Come on, Arnie, you can do it. Come on.

Arnie

Merrily, merrily. Sing that.

Becky

Okay. Row, row. . .

Becky & Arnie

. . .row your boat, gently down the stream. . .

Becky

Yay! Yay! You did it!

Arnie

Whoa!

Becky

Good job, Arnie. You did it. It’s nice, see?

Arnie

Yeah. Nice.

Becky

So, I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?

Grandma

Okay.

Becky

Come on.

Arnie

Bye.

Grandma

Bye, Arnie. You take care.

Arnie

I drownded, huh? I drownded over there.

Becky

No, you just got clean.

Amy

Arnie!

Becky

So he’s clean now, you guys.

Amy

Good boy.

Becky

Night.

Amy

Bye. Thank you so much.

Becky

You’re welcome.

Gilbert

I hit him. I hit him so hard, I. . .

Becky

He’s gonna be okay.

Gilbert

You don’t hurt Arnie. You just don’t. I gotta go. I gotta go. I got nowhere to go. I had to work extra hours just to feed her.

Becky

So it’s your fault?

Gilbert

You don’t understand. She was in shock for years. He disappeared. He didn’t say goodbye. He just, er. . . one day. . . all of a sudden. . .
he was gone. He was just hanging there. That’s when it all started. She used to be so pretty. She was so pretty and so. . . fun.

Becky

So you think it’s his fault?

Gilbert

No. Nobody knew what he felt. He didn’t. . . give anything. He was just sort of there. You’d try to play with him, you know, get him to play around.
Get him to laugh or get him to smile or get him to. . . I don’t know – get mad. But. . . nothing. Just like, er, he was already dead.

Becky

I used to know a guy like that.

Gilbert

Hey.

Becky

Hi.

Gilbert

It’s Arnie’s birthday. I need to go home.

Man

Give my regards to your mother.

Amy

I certainly will.

Ellen

Amy, look who’s here.

Tucker

Where you been? You all right?

Gilbert

Yeah.

Bobby

He’s alive!

Gilbert

Amy. Where’s Arnie? Amy. Please, Amy. Is he okay?

Amy

I think you’d better ask him that yourself.

Gilbert

Where is he?

Amy

I wonder where he could be?

Gilbert

Amy? Have you seen Arnie?

Amy

Um. . . no, I thought he was with you.

Gilbert

No.

Amy

No?

Gilbert

Arnie? Arnie? Anybody seen Arnie? Where’s my brother?

Arnie

Boo!

Gilbert

Boo. Come here. You scared me, buddy. You scared Gilbert. Don’t scare Gilbert, okay?

Arnie

Don’t scare Gilbert, okay?

Gilbert

Okay. Uh-oh. Come here.

Arnie

I’ve got you.

Gilbert

Ow. Ow.

Amy

You better talk to Momma.

Gilbert

Momma? Momma.

Momma

What you did was. . . He’s a helpless boy, Gilbert. And then disappearing like that. I hate that. You know how I hate that. You walked out
and I thought, “I can’t take another.” But you came back, Gilbert. Why? Why did you?

Gilbert

I don’t know, Momma. I’m here now. I’m here now.

Momma

Yes, you are. You came back for the party. Oh, Gilbert. I can’t imagine how it’s been for you kids. I know what a burden I am.

Gilbert

Don’t say that.

Momma

I know it. And I know that you’re ashamed of me.

Gilbert

No, I’m not. No, I’m not.

Momma

I never, never meant to be like this. I never wanted to be a joke.

Gilbert

You’re no joke, Momma.

Momma

I never wanted to be.

Gilbert

You’re no joke. You’re no joke, Momma.

Momma

Oh, Gilbert, please don’t disappear. Please don’t disappear.

Bobby

You’re really growing up to be quite a. . . a young lady.

Ellen

Thanks.

Bobby

Hey. Hi.

Gilbert

Hey.

Tucker

I don’t want to rain on the day here, but you have a serious foundation problem. You see how this. . . the porch is slanted right here?
I mean, this is a serious problem, Gilbert. We need to get up underneath here. First of all we need to fill this in so no more water collects here.
And then we probably. . . What?

Gilbert

Hi.

Becky

Hi.

Grandma

Hello, Gilbert.

Gilbert

Nana. You ready?

Becky

For what?

Gilbert

I want you to. . . I want you to come meet somebody.

Becky

Okay.

Arnie

Hey!

Becky

Hi, Arnie.

Arnie

Hi.

Becky

Here’s your present.

Arnie

Oh.

Gilbert

Arnie, what do you say?

Arnie

Thank you.

Gilbert

Momma. Momma, I want you to meet somebody.

Momma

No.

Gilbert

Please. Just this once, for me.

Becky

Gilbert, it’s okay. We can do it later.

Gilbert

No, this is what I want. Do it for me, please. This is different. Nobody’s gonna laugh. I’m not gonna hurt you any more, Momma. I promise. Please.

Momma

Okay.

Gilbert

Okay. Becky. Momma, this is Becky.

Momma

Hello.

Becky

Hi.

Momma

I haven’t always been like this.

Becky

I haven’t always been like this.

Arnie

I’m called a miracle.

Grandma

You’re a miracle?

Arnie

I’m a miracle.

Amy

A walking miracle.

Grandma

I can believe that.

Arnie

Bye.

Grandma

Goodbye, Arnie.

Arnie

Bye.

Grandma

You take care.

Becky

I had a really nice time.

Gilbert

I know. I don’t know what to say.

Arnie

Say thank you, Gilbert. Say thank you.

Gilbert

Thank you.

Arnie

Goodbye.

Becky

No, it’s not goodbye, Arnie.

Arnie

It’s good night. Good night. . . Good night to you, but not me. Thanks for coming. Bye. Wait.

Amy

Momma? Momma, what are you doing?

Momma

Amy? Amy.

Amy

You rest, Momma. You deserve to rest.

Momma

Amy, get me my birthday boy.

Amy

Okay.

Momma

I want my birthday boy.

Gilbert

There you go, Momma. There’s the water.

Momma

Gilbert. You’re my knight in shimmering armour. Did you know that?

Gilbert

I think you mean ‘shining’.

Momma

No. . . shimmering. You shimmer and you glow.

Gilbert

You rest, okay? Get some sleep.

Arnie

Hey! Momma! Momma! Momma! Wake up! You’re hiding, huh? I know that. Wake up! Momma, wake up! Hm. Momma, stop it now! Stop, Momma! Stop it!

Amy

Arnie. Arnie? Arnie. What’s wrong? Stop it. Ssh. Gilbert! Gilbert!

Gilbert

Arnie? What’s wrong? Come on. Come on. What’s wrong with you, buddy? What’s wrong?

Sheriff

I’m gonna need some more men, Amy.

Arnie

Hey, flash your lights. Flash ’em.

Voice on Radio

We may need the National Guard to move her out of there.

Sheriff

I’m sorry about that.

Gilbert

It’s gonna take a crane to get her out.

Ellen

There’s gonna be a crowd. I just know there’s gonna be a crowd.

Amy

She’s so beautiful.

Gilbert

She’s no joke. She’s no joke. I’m not gonna let her be a joke. Arnie. We’re gonna need your help.

Arnie

Gilbert, is that them?

Gilbert

No. No, not yet.

Arnie

When are they gonna come?

Gilbert

Pretty soon. Pretty soon.

Gilbert (voice)

My brother, Arnie’s about to turn nineteen. Nineteen.

Arnie

Gilbert. Look there.

Gilbert (voice)

Amy got a job offer to manage a bakery in Des Moines.

Arnie

Is that them?

Gilbert

Yeah, that’s them.

Gilbert (voice)

Ellen can’t wait to switch schools. Arnie asked if we’re gonna go too, and I said, “Well. . . we can go anywhere. . . if we want.”

Arnie

Becky?

Gilbert (voice)

We can go anywhere.

Arnie

Becky’s coming, huh, Gilbert?

Gilbert

Yeah. She’s coming.

Arnie

Becky! Come on. Come on, Gilbert. Whoo-oo!

Becky

Hey!

Arnie

Hi.

Becky

Hi.

Arnie

Hi. Hi! How are you?

Becky

I’m fine.

Arnie

Hi.

Becky

How are you?