ALICE
Downal ciqth Bluddy Behg Hid!
INT. THE CASTLE – THE LIBRARY
The White Rabbit reads the Oraculum. Looking out the window,
he sees Alice on the Eandersnatch, weilding the Vorpal Sword.
WHITE RABBIT
I’m always right. Why do people
question me?
He rolls up the Oraculum.
EXT. THE COURTYARD
Alice and the Bandersnatch approach the open drawbridge.
RED GUARDS
Close the drawbridge!
Seeing the Bandersnatch, the drawbridge MEN abandon their
post. The Bandersnatch pounds across.
EXT. THE RED QUEEN’S CASTLE – DAY
Waiting on a hill nearby, the Bloodhound sees the Bandersnatch
racing away from the castle with, remarkably, Alice on its
back. He dashes out to meet them. Running alongside, he hails
Alice.
BLOODHOUND
Ho, Alice!
ALICE
Bayard! To Marmoreal!
He races ahead leading the way as the Bandersnatch follows.
EXT. MARMOREAL – CASTLE OF THE WHITE QUEEN
Beautiful, shining, it’s made entirely of white marble. A
White Guard looks out across the open plain at the strange
sight of the Bandersnatch approaching at a dead run.
WHITE GUARD #1
Bandersnatch on approach!
WHITE GUARD 4*2
There’s someone riding it.
The Dodo is standing neaby. He lifts a spyglass and sees
Alice.
THE DODO
Alert the Queen.
CUT TO:
INT. WHITE QUEEN’S CASTLE – THE COURTYARD
The castle doors swing open. The people step back fearfully
as the Bandersnatch lopes into the courtyard. Eayard follows.
Alice dismounts. She sees the Dodo with the White Queen.
ALICE
Dodo?
THE DODO
Welcome to Marmoreal. Your
Highness…this is Alice.
The White Queen is not ugly at all. She’s very beautiful, in
fact.
THE WHITE QUEEN
No need for introductions,
Uilleam. Alice and I are old
friends.
ALICE
It’s good to see you again, your
Highness. I have something that
belongs to you.
Alice hands her the Vorpal sword.
WHITE QUEEN
You have our deepest gratitude.
INT. THE ARMORY – DAY – LATER
The White Queen places it in the hand of a suit of silver
armor.
WHITE QUEEN
The Vorpal Sword is home again.
The Armor is complete. Now I
await my new champion.
(to Alice)
You were younger when last we
met and yet, you seemed larger
somehow.
ALICE
I cannot tell you how much
pishsalver I’ve had to swallow
lately.
WHITE QUEEN
Ah. Would you care to join me
in the kitchen?
INT. THE WHITE QUEEN’S KITCHEN
MARCH HARE (0.5.)
Too much pepper!
As they enter, a pepper mill flies acros the room and hits the
wall.
WHITE QUEEN
Since I’ve been in exile, we
haven’t had the luxury of a
kitchen staff. Thackery has
been kind enough to help out
with the cooking.
MARCH HARE
Alice 1 Come for tea, luv?
WHITE QUEEN
She’s not here for tea. She’s
in need of upelkuchen. I’m
going to bake some up for her.
MARCH HARE
No good! There’s already too
many people crowding up my kitchen.
It’s empty, but for the three of them.
WHITE QUEEN
We’ll stay out of your way.
The Hare lifts a pot lid and listens as if the soup is talking
to him.
MARCH HARE
No, I won’t listen. I’ve had
enough of your salty love-talk.
You had your chance with me.
You broke my heart and now I’m
done with you!
He picks up the pot and throws the soup at the wall.
THE OVENS
The White Queen prepares the batter for a cake. She opens a
cupboard filled with jars of herbs, spices, dried insects,
shriveled fingers, eyeballs, and other odious things.
Intermixed with these are bags of flour, salt and sugar.
WHITE QUEEN
Let me think. Two cups flour,
one cup sugar,a pinch of fungas,
worm fat, tongue of blowfish. I’ve
been baking upelkuchen since I was
a child. My mother taught us how
to concoct all the medicinal cures
and transformational dishes.
(more ingrediants)
A pinch of thyme, three coins from
a dead man’s pocket and two table-
spoons of Wishful Thinking.
She spits into the batter, then pours it into the cake pans.
WHITE QUEEN (cont.)
My sister preferred to study
Dominion Over Living Things.
Tell me, how does she seem to you?
ALICE
She’s completely mad.
WHITE QUEEN
She wasn’t always that way.
And her head?
ALICE
Bulbous, bloated, like a blimp.
The Queen puts the cake into the oven.
WHITE QUEEN
I think she may have some kind
of growth in there…something
pressing on her brain.
ALICE
You can’t imagine the things
that go on in that place.
WHITE QUEEN
When a champion steps forth to
slay the Jabberwocky, the people
will rise against her.
ALICE
The Oraculum says that I will
slay the Jabberwocky.
WHITE QUEEN
That is not going to happen
because it has been foretold. If
the events occur, it will be
because you cause them to.
ALICE
But if I don’t slay the Jabberwocky,
how will I get home?
The Queen opens the door to check on the cake.
WHITE QUEEN
All done.
She takes the cake out.
ALICE
It takes a lot longer to
bake a cake where I come from.
WHITE QUEEN
Then you’re putting too much
thyme in it.
WHITE QUEEN (cont.)
I hope it tastes all right.
She gives her a big piece. Alice eats it with relish. She
holds out the empty dish.
ALICE
More please.
The Queen takes the plate away firmly.
WHITE QUEEN
It’s not cake, its upe.Zkuchen.
WHOOSH! Alice grows to her original size.
WHITE QUEEN (cont.)
Feel better?
ALICE
Much. Thank you.
WHITE QUEEN
Come. You’ll tell me of your
world while we await the arrival
of my new champion.
