RED QUEEN (cont.)
Wait. Send her first to
Uglification and then to
Derision and after that…
off with her head.
They drag Alice off. The Dormouse watches from the corner.
INT. THE UGLIFICATION ROOM – LATER
A Man and Woman in surgical white study Alice who’s been tied
to a chair. The Man has a PROTRUDING BELLY and the WOMAN has a
very PRONOUNCED NOSE. Several unidentifiable but very sharp
silver instruments sit on tray nearby. Alice is very
frightened.
BIG BELLY MAN
What should we do to her?
BIG NOSE WOMAN
The first thing is shave of f
her pretty yellow locks. But
what after that?
BIG BELLY MAN
Should we cut off her nose?
BIG NOSE WOMAN
To spite her face?
BIG BELLY MAN
Or poke out those big blue eyes?
BIG BELLY MAN
Or slice off those luscious
lips.
As the Woman leans in, her NOSE falls off and lands in Alice’s
lap.
ALICE
You dropped something.
The woman feels for her nose which is still there but normal
sized. She gasps, grabs the fake and hurries away with it.
Alice’s eyes narrow suspiciously. As the man turns she can see
straps above his pants which hold the protruding belly in
place. She smiles to herself as the woman comes back with her
long nose reattached.
ALICE (cont.)
You can do anything to me, just
not the shrinking. I cannot bear
to be shrunk.
The woman smiles evilly. She whispers to BIG BELLY who reaches
for a vial of liquid.
ALICE (cont.)
Is that pishsalver? No please
anything but that!
Alice struggles against her bonds dramatically. They grab her
head and force her mouth open.
BIG BELLY MAN
DRINK!
They pour the whole vial down her throat. Alice coughs and
gags. And in a moment, she SHRINKS…down to two feet again.
ALICE
(tragically)
Why? Why did you do it?
BIG NOSE WOMAN
Take her to Derision.
The Guards take SMALL ALICE of f to another room. After she’s
gone, the woman adjusts her fake nose.
BIG NOSE WOMAN
Do you think she noticed?
CUT TO:
INT. THE COURT OF DERISION – LATER
Small Alice stands in the center of a court room. The Queen
and all the Courtiers sit in tiers above her. They all point
and laugh as they ridicule her.
LADY LONG EARS
Look at her…the little ugliness.
BIG BELLY MAN
She’s a gnome.
LADY THREE CHINS
A runt.
MAN WITH HUGE FEET
A nothing!
BIG-LIPPED WOMAN
Meager and meaningless!
LONG NECK MAN
Less than dirt!
LADY LARGE ASS
A little knotgrass of
insignificance.
ALICE
(to the Queen)
I have something to say!
RED QUEEN
Speak then before we silence
you forever.
ALICE
Majesty, your courtiers are
playing you for a fool. They
only pretend to be as they are.
Tug on your Lady’s ear. Give
it a tug.
Lady Long Ear smiles nervously. The Queen reaches over and
playfully tugs on her ear. It comes off in her hand. Long Ears
screams. Shocked, the Queen holds the long dangling ear up.
RED QUEEN
What is this?
LADY LONG EARS
I’m not the only one, Majesty.
Her chins are not real.
She grabs Lady Triple Chins chins and pulls. They come off
like Halloween wax chins revealing the woman’s real chin
beneath.
BULBOUS NOSE MAN
Counterfeit chins. You should be
ashamed of yourself.
LADY THREE CHINS
Me? What about that nose youre
so proud of?
THREE CHINS grabs his BULBOUS nose off and tosses it into the
crowd. The room goes wild. The Queen glares as her courtiers
pull off each other’s fake body parts.
RED QUEEN
Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers!
In the chaos, Alice slips out passing the White Rabbit.
ALICE
Nivens, have you seen Mallymkun?
He stares at the room of courtiers gone mad.
WHITE RABBIT
In the dungeon with the Hatter.
INT. THE DUNGEON – A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Alice races through the dungeon, slipping past the weary
Keeper who’s still working on the list with the Tweedles.
TWEEDLEDtJN
That’s Prisoner Number Two
done. Prisoner Number Four.
TWEEDLEDEE
You missed Number Three.
TWEEDLEDUTVI
We did him before.
TWEEDLEDEE
Ain’t so.
TWEEDLEDEE
Is so.
The Keeper groans. Alice runs to the Hatter’s cell.
INT. DUNGEON – HATTER’S CELL
Mallymkun stands on a pile of boxes, picking the lock on his
cell. The Hatter sees Alice approaching. There’s a click. He
steps out eagerly.
MAD HATTER
Do you have the Sword?
ALICE
You didn’t tell me it’s
guarded by the Eandersnatch!
Without a second thought, he steps back into his cell and
closes the door. Click. The Dormouse throws up her hands.
ALICE (cont.)
(to the Dormouse)
I need the eye.
THE DORMOUSE
No! It’s my good luck charm.
ALICE
We don’t have much time.
Alice tries to take it. The Dormouse swats her hand away.
THE DORMOUSE
It’s mine!
AL I CE
I need that eye!
THE DORMOUSE
Then come and get it.
She draws her hatpin sword.
THE DORMOUSE (cont.)
Wait, you take this.
She gives Alice the hatpin.
THE DORMOUSE (cant.)
I’ll take…
She takes a steel torture poker from the wall.
THE DORMOUSE (cant.)
This.
She assumes the stance. Alice is smaller than her with a much
smaller weapon.
ALICE
Well, it’s hardly fair.
THE DORMOUSE
Do you want the eye or don’t
you?
Alice clumsily goes at her with the hatpin/sword. Mally’s
quite adept at swardplay. The Hatter coaches Alice in
Outlandish.
MAD HATTER
Alice.
. orgal!
ALICE
What?
MAD HATTER
Orga]!
ALICE
I don’t know what that means!
She gets knocked sideways by Mally’s weapon.
MAD HATTER
Watch your left.
Mally comes at her again.
