Whats eating Gilbert Grape Script - Dialogue Transcript
Transcript written by and used with the courtesey of Angela Sugden
Arnie
Two, three, five, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, nineteen, seventeen.
Gilbert
Arnie.
Arnie
Fifteen, seventeen.
Gilbert
Arnie, eat some chicken.
Arnie
I don't, I don't want any chicken, Gilbert.
Gilbert
You want some corn?
Arnie
I w. . . I want some corn.
Gilbert
Have some corn. Here.
Arnie
Huh.
Gilbert
Good?
Arnie
Mm-mm. Not good corn. Gilbert?
Gilbert
Hmm.
Arnie
Are they gonna come soon? 'Cos I gotta go back home, you know.
Gilbert
Pretty soon.
Arnie
I want them to come.
Gilbert
Wanna go home?
Arnie
No. I wanna see 'em.
Gilbert
Okay.
Arnie
They're gonna come soon, huh? How many more miles till they come, Gilbert?
Gilbert
Three million, buddy.
Arnie
Three?
Gilbert
Yep.
Arnie
Okay. Gilbert! That's them, uh? Gilbert, look, it's them! Look! They're coming here! Ahh! Come here! Look at 'em come.
They're coming! Like a horse! Like a horse! Like a horse!
Gilbert (voice)
My brother Arnie's about to turn eighteen.
Gilbert
Arnie!
Gilbert (voice)
My family's planning a big party for him. Watching the campers is our yearly ritual. They're doing the right thing just passing through.
Gilbert
God, Arnie. You're getting so big. Pretty soon I ain't going to be able to carry you no more.
Arnie
No. You know you're getting little, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Yeah.
Arnie
You're getting littler. You're shrinking, Gilbert. You're shrinking. Shrinking, shrinking, shrinking.
Gilbert (voice)
Endora. Endora's where we are. Describing Endora is like dancing to no music. It's a town where nothing much ever happens, and nothing much
ever will. Lamson Grocery is where I work. And miles out of town on the interstate there's Foodland... where everyone else shops. This is where I
live with my family. My dad built the house. It's my job to keep up the repairs. Doctors said we'd be lucky if Arnie lived to be ten. Well, ten
came and went. Now the doctors are saying, "Any time now. Arnie could go at any time." Some days you want him to live.
Arnie
It's a head.
Gilbert (voice)
Some days you don't.
Gilbert
What is it, buddy?
Arnie
I killed him. I killed him, Gilbert.
Gilbert
I know.
Arnie
I killed him.
Gilbert
I know, buddy, I know.
Gilbert (voice)
My older sister, Amy, is more like a mother. She used to manage the elementary school cafeteria over in Motley. . . until it burned down last year.
My other sister, Ellen, just turned fifteen. She got her braces off and for days now she's been walking around going, "Ooh, aah", like she can't
believe to feel her teeth. I got another brother, Larry, but he got away. And then there's Momma, who in her day, was the prettiest girl in these
parts. Ever since our dad was hung out to dry seventeen years ago, Momma's had her hands full. You see, with Momma there's no nice way to break it
to you. She hasn't left the house in over seven years. I'm Gilbert. Gilbert Grape.
Television
This is the stuff of the circus.
Momma
Sunshine? Where's my sunshine?
Gilbert
I don't know, Momma.
Amy
Just the essentials.
Gilbert
Okay.
Momma
Gilbert. . . get him down from there.
Gilbert
Arnie. . .
Momma
Hurry!
Gilbert
Let's go. Amy, you seen Arnie?
Amy
No, I thought he was with you.
Gilbert
No, no. I wonder where he is.
Amy
Gee, I don't know.
Gilbert
Ellen, you seen your brother?
Ellen
He's in the tree.
Amy
Ellen, he is not in the tree! Gilbert already looked in the tree. Isn't that right, Gilbert?
Gilbert
Yeah, that's right. Oh! Arnie. Don't do that, you scared me. Come here.
Arnie
I was up there, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Yeah, you were up in the tree.
Arnie
I was right up there.
Mr Lamson
Can I help you with anything?
Woman
Uh. . . no.
Arnie
Thank you and goodbye.
Mr Lamson
Gilbert?
Gilbert
Sir?
Mr Lamson
Something going on at Foodland?
Gilbert
Oh, I wouldn't know, sir. I don't shop there. I'd rather die.
Mrs Lamson
I'll tell you. Foodland's up to something, if you ask me.
Mr Lamson
It's those lobsters, isn't it? Scads of lobsters all in a tank. Am I right?
Gilbert
You know. You shouldn't worry about it. It's just a phase. People'll come back here, believe me.
Mr Lamson
You think?
Gilbert
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Mr Lamson
The way you say that makes me think I'm talking to your father.
Arnie
Can I have these two, Gilbert?
Gilbert
No, just one.
Arnie
Can I have these two?
Mr Lamson
Sure, go ahead.
Gilbert
Say thank you.
Mr Lamson
Say hello to Momma for me.
Gilbert
I will. See you tomorrow.
Mrs Lamson
Gilbert. That was Mrs Carver needing a delivery. Could you?
Mrs Carver
Hello, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Hello.
Mrs Carver
Boys, go on outside.
Todd Carver
But we don't wanna.
Doug Carver
Yeah, we don't wanna.
Mrs Carver
Go play.
Arnie
Hey! Hey!
Gilbert
Arnie, get back in the truck. Keep counting, okay?
Arnie
Okay. One. . . five, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twelve, thirteen. . .
Mr Carver
Hey, kids, let's play! Come on! Todd! We got the trampoline! Come on boys! Come on!
Gilbert
The uh. . . The ice cream's gonna melt. Soon.
Mrs Carver
You're right. It is melting.
Gilbert
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Mrs Carver
Oh, my. Oh, my.
Gilbert
Oh, my God.
Mr Carver
Come on up here, I wanna show you.
Todd Carver
I don't wanna do it.
Mr Carver
You don't wanna do it?
Doug Carver
I wanna pool.
Mr Carver
You wanna pool?
Doug Carver
Yeah.
Todd Carver
Yeah, we wanna pool.
Mr Carver
Come on up here. Up, up, up, up, up, up.
Mrs Carver
Gilbert was just making a delivery.
Mr Carver
Oh. Oh. Gilbert. Come here for a second. Here.
Gilbert
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, really, er...
Mr Carver
Oh, no. No, no, here. I insist. You deserve it.
Gilbert
Thank you.
Mr Carver
Thank you.
Mrs Carver
Bye, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Bye.
Mr Carver
Gilbert. Come by my office. We need to talk.
Gilbert
Okay. Arnie?
Deputy
Okay, son, it's a little dangerous up there. Come on down.
Man
Arnie, get down!
Deputy
We've had enough fun for one day. Come on down.
Arnie
Hey! Hey! Hi! I wanna go up there!
Deputy
Son?
Arnie
Yeah?
Deputy
Come on down.
Arnie
No! I'm not coming down, I'm going up there!
Deputy
Son, come on down.
Arnie
I wanna go up there!
Gilbert
Arnie! Arnie, come on down, buddy.
Arnie
Up here. Hi!
Deputy
Okay, son. Come on down.
Arnie
I wanna go up here!
Deputy
Come on, son.
Arnie
I'm going higher than before. I'm going high!
Deputy
It's getting dark soon. Come on down.
Bobby
Hi.
Tucker
Hey, Bob. Yeah, look, here we go again.
Mechanic
Basically, I don't like to work on carburetors and I can tell without getting into it that that is a complicated unit.
Grandma
I, I understand. I, I can do it myself. But I need the part. Look, let me show you. See, it's this little guy right here.
See the needle valve. . . it's worn down, and I need a new one. Could we order it?
Mechanic
Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I can order it.
Grandma
About how long do you think that would take?
Mechanic
Probably a week.
Grandma
A week.
Deputy
Don't make us come get you.
Arnie
You don't have to come and get me. I'm going up here.
Gilbert
Arnie.
Arnie
Whoa. I'm not gonna fall! Whoa!
Tucker & Bobby
Whoa.
Arnie
Hey! My shoe done fell off. My shoe done fell off, Gilbert.
Gilbert (singing)
I know a boy whose name is Arnie, He's, er, about to turn eighteen and have a big party, I know a boy whose name is Arnie.
Gilbert
Come on down, buddy. Come on.
Gilbert (chanting)
Match in the gas tank - boom, boom!
Arnie (chanting)
Match in the gas tank - boom, boom.
Gilbert (chanting)
Match in the gas tank - boom, boom!
Arnie (chanting)
Match in the gas tank - boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Match in the gas tank - boom, boom.
Gilbert
Good boy.
Man
Easy does it now.
Gilbert
Come on down, buddy.
Earl
All right!
Gilbert
Come on down. Come on! There you go. All right. Thanks a lot. Really sorry. Good. Good boy. Good boy. Now, I'm gonna take him home.
I promise it won't happen again.
Sheriff
Son, we hear this every time. Then after a couple of days he's right back up there again.
Gilbert
Yeah, but this is the last time. Right, buddy?
Arnie
It's the last time.
Gilbert
Yeah. Come on, let's go.
Arnie
I wanna go back up there again. I wanna go up there again.
Earl
Hey, Arnie. Good job, huh?
Gilbert
Don't touch him.
Boy
Whoa, nice try.
Earl
Way to go, Arnie. Could you do it again for me?
Tucker
Get out of here, Earl.
Gilbert
Could you help me out later?
Tucker
Yeah.
Gilbert
With the fridge.
Tucker
With the what?
Gilbert
Something wrong with the fridge.
Tucker
The electricity?
Gilbert
I don't know. Maybe.
Tucker
All right. I'll have to get my tools.
Arnie
Hi.
Tucker
I'll see you. I'll have to stop by later. You be careful, all right, Arnie?
Arnie
Okay.
Momma
Don't disappear like that again on me, okay?
Arnie
I disappear. I disappeared on Momma like that.
Momma
Please don't disappear.
Gilbert
Just let him go.
Amy
Gilbert, will you bring the milk.
Arnie
I miss Momma.
Momma
Good boy.
Arnie
Disappear like that.
Momma
Good boy.
Arnie
Food.
Amy
Are we ready to talk about the party?
Momma
Sure.
Ellen
I'm ready.
Amy
Ellen's in charge of decorations.
Ellen
Get this - purple, orange and green.
Momma
Sounds good.
Ellen
Theme colours.
Amy
Okay.
Momma
That sounds pretty good.
Amy
I'm doing the food, the cake.
Momma
Okay.
Amy
Arnie, I'm making something very special for you. And, er, Momma you can supervise everything. Okay with everybody?
Ellen
That's disgusting.
Momma
Sounds good.
Arnie
What about me?
Amy
You are the guest of honour. How about that?
Arnie
Gilbert, what about me? My party. It's my party. What about me?
Gilbert
You just show up, buddy. That's your job.
Momma
All you have to do is show up.
Amy
You don't have to do anything. All you have to do is turn eighteen.
Ellen
You know, that just leaves Gilbert.
Gilbert
Huh?
Ellen
You're the only one without anything to do. Got any ideas?
Amy
Sure he does.
Gilbert
No, I don't. No, I don't.
Amy
Yes, you do.
Ellen
I'm almost sixteen and I got pages of ideas.
Momma
Ellen.
Ellen
She designed a whole cake, and you haven't done anything.
Momma
Stop it, Ellen.
Amy
Can it.
Gilbert
Can I be excused?
Ellen
He never does anything. No.
Momma
Please, can't we just do something as a family?
Ellen
No fair, Momma!
Gilbert
Can I please be excused?
Amy, Momma & Ellen
(all talking at once)
Arnie
My party though!
Momma
Is that too much to ask?
Tucker
So it's gonna be an exact copy of the one. . . the original they built in Boone.
Gilbert
Really?
Tucker
Which is no big dead, Gilbert, 'cos they're all. . . All Burger Barns are built identical. They're prefabricated. They just ship 'em out.
I mean, it's so efficient, it's amazing. In a matter of a couple of days, there's gonna be a whole new restaurant there. So, I was driving past
the building site today. You know, it's going up right next to. . . right down the road from Foodland. The general manager was there. So I says,
"Can I fill out an application?" He said, "You bet you can." So I did, you know, and it looks really good. I mean, I'm happy wearing one of them
uniforms and flipping some burgers, salting some fries. You never know, could be the best thing that ever happened to me. Hey, get. . . Get outta
here.
Boy
I saw her! I saw her, I saw her!
Tucker
That wasn't nice.
Gilbert
What? What'd I do?
Tucker
You know what you did.
Gilbert
Oh.
Tucker
That's your mother in there. Your mother.
Gilbert
I know.
Tucker
I don't get you man. I just don't get it.
Gilbert
Let's go, buddy.
Arnie
Okay.
Gilbert
Come on.
Arnie
Gilbert, run now! Run! Bye-bye, Momma. Bye-bye.
Momma
Night you guys. Move Amy.
Arnie
Gilbert is shrinking. Shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, shrinking. I'm not tired yet, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Well, you gotta go to sleep, okay?
Arnie
Okay. Goodbye.
Gilbert
No, it's not goodbye. It's good night.
Arnie
Yeah.
Gilbert
Goodbye is for when you're going away and we're not going anywhere, are we?
Arnie
I know that. I know that, Gilbert.
Gilbert
See you tomorrow.
Arnie
We're not going anywhere! Goodbye!
Gilbert
Arnie.
Tucker
You gotta work later?
Gilbert
Yeah I do.
Woman
Hi, boys. Hi, Arnie.
Arnie
Hiya, ladies.
Gilbert
Gotta come back.
Tucker
How's Momma?
Gilbert
She's fat.
Tucker
Come on, man. She's not all that big, Gilbert.
Gilbert
What?
Tucker
Listen, I saw a guy at the state fair who was. . . a little bit bigger.
Gilbert
A little bit bigger?
Tucker
Look, all I'm saying is she's not the biggest I've ever seen.
Gilbert
Tucker, she's a whale.
Tucker
Well, take her out for a walk once in a while.
Gilbert
Take her out for a jog.
Tucker
Get her out of the house.
Gilbert
Hey, Bobby. Bobby!
Tucker
Give her a chance, that's all I'm saying.
Gilbert
I know. How's business?
Bobby
Oh, not good. Hey! Nobody's dying.
Tucker
There's a clear ladder. There's a clear corporate ladder.
Bobby
That's good.
Arnie
How, Gilbert?
Tucker
That's a good thing for you to do.
Arnie
How?
Tucker
If you guys would give it a chance.
Bobby
I. . . I. . . I just was saying that it wasn't something that I should be doing for myself.
Tucker
Look, they use Canola oil, okay? You know what Canola oil is? You probably don't.
Gilbert
No, no.
Tucker
They probably don't sell it at Lamson Grocery.
Gilbert
No.
Tucker
It's cutting edge. It creates a crispier French fry and. . .
Bobby
Well, that's. . .
Tucker
And, er, a more unique product. And Burger Barn. . . Forget Wendy's, forget Burger King, forget McDonalds, that's like, old hat.
Burger Barn is cutting edge. I mean, I, I could really stand behind it. It, it's an innovative place. You know, they created the salad bar, which is
now mimicked by every single fast-food chain in America.
Bobby
Yeah.
Tucker
They came up with that. Fifteen different toppings for each salad and two different kinds of lettuce. And there's, you know, all that you care to eat.
Bobby
Yeah.
Tucker
You either go from clerk to fry cook to cook to assistant manager, or you can go from clerk to cashier captain to assistant manager. And then from
assistant manager you could go to manager, and then regional manager and then. . .
Mr Lamson
Look at the little fellas.
Arnie
My hoppers.
Mr Lamson
Let's try this.
Arnie
My friend.
Mr Lamson
There you go, my boy.
Gilbert
What do you say, Arnie?
Arnie
Ah, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Mrs Carver
Gilbert. This Thursday. It's our anniversary.
Gilbert
Okay.
Becky
Hello.
Mrs Carver
Gilbert. I'll need a delivery later.
Mr Lamson
Have a nice day. Gilbert. Gilbert.
Becky
He's behind the chips.
Mr Lamson
Delivery, son.
Gilbert
Excuse me?
Mr Lamson
Delivery. She's gonna be needing some help.
Gilbert
Yes, sir.
Arnie
Is that your bike?
Becky
Yeah.
Arnie
I'll do it, Gilbert, I'll do it.
Gilbert
Here, wait a second.
Arnie
I got it. I did it, huh?
Tucker
Look there.
Arnie
I did it by myself.
Bobby
Yeah. Look at that.
Arnie
I could go at any time.
Gilbert
Ssh. Arnie. No.
Arnie
Any time.
Gilbert
Excuse me. Where to?
Becky
Oh, just keep going straight.
Gilbert
All right.
Arnie
My almost, my almost become, become eighteen and I'm having a big. . . a big party, huh, Gilbert?
Gilbert
Yup.
Arnie
When is that party coming?
Gilbert
Six days.
Arnie
Six days to my party and I'm come eighteen. I'm eighteen and you're not invited.
Gilbert
Arnie. Don't be rude.
Becky
Oh, it's okay. He's just being honest. I don't mind.
Arnie
I, I got the groceries.
Gilbert
All right, be careful with them.
Arnie
The groceries. I got 'em, okay?
Gilbert
Okay. Oh, no, Arnie.
Arnie
Oh, no.
Gilbert
Shit. Sorry. Really sorry.
Becky
It's okay. Don't worry about it.
Gilbert
No, no, I'm really. . . I'm really sorry. This is. . .
Becky
It's okay.
Gilbert
I'm sorry.
Becky
Don't be sorry. Are you sorry?
Arnie
Mm-mm.
Becky
No. I'm not sorry. He's not sorry. We're not sorry. Don't be sorry.
Arnie
I'm not sorry.
Amy
So I think if we're gonna have people come that early we should have appetisers.
Momma
Oh, yeah, that'd be good. You know those little tiny sausage things. And put 'em in grape jelly and ketchup and make a sauce.
Amy
I was thinking. . .
Arnie
I want hot dogs, Mom.
Ellen
How 'bout pretzels?
Amy
. . .you know, like those Hawaiian appetizers. . . that they make with. . . you get pineapple chunks out of a can and you wrap them with little
pieces of bacon and you push a toothpick through 'em.
Momma
How do you cook the bacon?
Amy
In the oven, on a pan.
Momma
But the bacon's not gonna be crisp if u bake it in the oven on a sheet.
Amy
Yes, it will.
Momma
And nobody wants greasy. . .
Arnie
I want hot dogs.
Amy
No, you. . . you soak 'em. . .
Momma
. . .floppy bacon.
Arnie
Momma, I want hot dogs.
Amy
Oh, Arnie.
Momma
We're gonna have hot dogs, honey. I promise. We're gonna have hot dogs.
Arnie
Wa. . . I want hot dogs.
Ellen
The thing about hot dogs. . . I mean, every party that I've been to. . .
Gilbert
Ellen. Ellen.
Ellen
What?
Gilbert
Could you not talk with your mouth full?
Ellen
Excuse me?
Gilbert
You're making me sick. I'm gonna throw up.
Ellen
Oh. Okay, Dad.
Momma
Ellen.
Ellen
Sure thing, Dad.
Amy
Will you two cut it out?
Arnie
Okay, Dad. Sure thing, Dad.
Gilbert
That's nice.
Amy
Stop it, you guys.
Gilbert
Dad's dead, Ellen.
Momma
Gilbert!
Amy
Gilbert.
Momma
I can't believe you said that.
Amy
Shut up.
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Amy
Arnie.
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Amy
Arnie, ssh. Arnie.
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Amy
It's okay.
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Amy
Stop it now!
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Momma
Oh, God.
Arnie
Dad's dead!
Amy
Arnie. Stop it.
Arnie
Dad's dead! Dad's dead!
Amy
Momma, don't get upset.
Arnie
Dad's dead! Dad's dead! Dad's dead!
Momma
Amy, make him stop.
Arnie
Dad's dead.
Ellen
Arnie, shut up!
Arnie
Dead, dead, dead, dead!
Ellen
You're crazy, Arnie.
Amy
Arnie.
Arnie
Dead! Dead, dead, dead, dead!
Gilbert
Arnie. Ssh, ssh.
Amy
Arnie. Calm down!
Momma
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Amy
That's enough. Arnie, that's enough.
Momma
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Amy
Arnie. Arnie, be quiet.
Momma
Stop it right now!
Arnie
Dad's dead!
Momma
I said, stop it right now!
Gilbert
Amy. Amy.
Tucker
It should be two by ten's or two by twelve's. And the space between 'em here, is. . . should. . . right now it's at two feet. And this should be
sixteen inches, I mean that's just standard. And this right here. See this here? Flat flooring. I mean, flat flooring! It's like once the wood
gets old you're just gonna fall right through it.
Amy
Yeah, I guess Daddy wasn't much of a carpenter.
Tucker
Hey, Gilbert, why did. . . why did he use two by six's instead of two by. . . ?
Gilbert
Tucker.
Tucker
What?
Gilbert
Ssh. Keep it down.
Tucker
Sorry.
Gilbert
She's coming. Hey, she's coming. Ssh. Ssh. You all right? Okay?
Amy
Yeah, I'm fine.
Gilbert
Thanks a lot for coming.
Tucker
I'll come by tomorrow with the wood. Just let's keep it quiet. Oh, I forget to tell you.
Gilbert
What?
Tucker
Burger Barn. I'm in. I got the call.
Gilbert
Oh, oh, good.
Tucker
It's not too late, you know. All right, see you.
Amy
I think she's asleep.
Man (On TV)
Let's say that you want to slice down zucchini squash for the electric food dehydrator. Look at this.
Woman (On TV)
Wonderful.
Man (On TV)
Perfect slicing each and every time. Is that nice?
Woman (On TV)
Marvelous.
Man (On TV)
Of course, if you know someone that can't chew too well.
Woman (On TV)
Okay.
Man (On TV)
Taking corn off the cob. Look at this. We'll just turn the dial down a little bit.
Woman (On TV)
. . .and sit there for hours with a knife. Literally hours, cutting her corn. Unbelievable.
Man (On TV)
'Course. For und. . . . . . right now you get the hundred and. . .
Mamma
Gilbert, what are you doing? Give me that.
Gilbert
Sorry, Momma.
Momma
Jeez.
Man (On TV)
. . .the thirty dollar dial-o-matic food slicer. . .
Amy
Momma?
Momma
Mm-mm?
Amy
I made up that bed for you.
Momma
What for?
Amy
Well, just in case you wanted a change.
Momma
I'm happy right where I am.
Amy
You sure?
Momma
Yeah.
Gilbert
There you go.
Amy
There you go, Momma.
Momma
Thanks, kids.
Amy
Good night, Momma.
Momma
You're so helpful.
Man (On TV)
. . .three easy credit card payments of only twenty dollars each. . .
Arnie
New ball.
Gilbert
Took her delivery.
Arnie
Fire!
Gilbert
We talked a little bit. And, er, that was it. I dropped her off.
Tucker
What's she doing here?
Gilbert
She. . . I don't know. She's just sort of here. Their car broke down or something.
Tucker
Come on. You. . . I can see in your face that you like her.
Gilbert
Can we just not talk about this right now?
Tucker
Why not?
Gilbert
Let's change the subject.
Mr Carver
. . .you understand?
Doug Carver
We want a pool.
Tucker
Okay. But you're telling me later.
Gilbert
I'll tell you everything later.
Bobby
Look at those guys out there.
Mr Carver
Gilbert.
Gilbert
Mm-hm.
Bobby
They're laughing. They're all happy and waving to their friends. But the next day, and this is the thing they don't know, they could be. . .
lying on the slab. It's kind of, uh. . . harsh. But it's kind of fun, too.
Tucker
Do you ever, um. . . ?
Bobby
What?
Tucker
Um. . . Well, you know. . . Are you tempted like. . . to wanna fool around with the bodies?
Gilbert
Tucker, come on.
Tucker
No, I wanted to ask. I just wanted to ask. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.
Bobby
No, no. People are very curious about that. No, yeah, I, er. . . The worst thing that we do is we take the bodies, the grotesque ones, the
really. . . really ugly ones, and we make, make jokes about them, you know. Harmless jokes. Very harmless jokes, but we come up with some, some
very good, good jokes. . .
Mrs Carver
Come on, let's go.
Bobby
. . .about them, my father and me. But, but, you know, they're dead. And uh. . . you know, nobody can see that. Nobody hears anything.
Mrs Carver
Hi, boys.
Tucker
Hi.
Bobby
Hello, Mrs Carver.
Gilbert
Hi.
Bobby
These jokes don't hurt anybody. Nobody even knows we make them.
Mr Carver
Gilbert, I'm waiting for your call.
Bobby
Oh, Mr Carver, er, I, I haven't seen your mother in church lately. How's she doing?
Mr Carver
Fine. She's fine.
Bobby
Ah, thanks. Bye.
Tucker
He wants. . . he wants to kill you, right?
Bobby
Er, you prefer a bronze casket?
Tucker
Hey. Gilbert. Hey, can somebody give me a hand down here?
Gilbert
What?
Tucker
Somebody give me a hand with the wood?
Gilbert
Hey, Arnie.
Arnie
Huh?
Gilbert
You wanna go help Tucker?
Arnie
Uh-uh.
Gilbert
Arnie, go help Tucker in the basement. Arnie. Why don't you go into the basement and. . .
Arnie
I don't wanna go down there, Gilbert.
Gilbert
Please.
Arnie
No way, no way, no way. You. Go down there, Gilbert.
Tucker
Is there a problem? Gilbert. Hey.
Arnie
Dad's in there. Whooo!
Gilbert
Ssh.
Arnie
Whoo!
Gilbert
Ssh.
Arnie
Dad's in there.
Gilbert
Ssh.
Arnie
Arghh!
Gilbert
Arnie, shut up! Arnie. Shut up. Shut up. Come on. Arnie. It's not funny. Get back here.
Tucker
Don't worry. Now the two by six's, you know, there's six of 'em so. . . you know, those could hold anybody. I for. . . I forgot.
Gilbert
What?
Tucker
I forgot that that was where your dad. . .
Gilbert
Yep.
Tucker
I'm. . . I'm sorry.
Gilbert
No, it's okay. Don't worry about it.
Ellen
No, Arnie, no.
Arnie
I wanna go up there.
Ellen
Arnie, you're not. Arnie! Not again! Arnie, get down. Get down. Get down! You're not going anywhere. It's not too much fun, is it?
Arnie
I wanna go there. Ow!
Ellen
No! We're going home! We're going home.
Arnie
Ow!
Gilbert
Ellen, no! Stop it. I told you, don't touch him.
Ellen
What am I supposed to do?
Gilbert
Don't ever touch him again.
Ellen
He was climbing again.
Gilbert
I don't care. Just get outta here. Just get outta here! Let me see, buddy. Come on, let me see. Let me see. Oh, great. You made him bleed.
Now, what does Gilbert say? That if anybody ever hits you, or even just lays a finger on you, what are you gonna do? Arnie? Hm? You're gonna tell
me and then I'm gonna take care of it for you, right? And why will I take care of it?
Arnie
Gilbert.
Gilbert
Hm?
Arnie
'Cos you're Gilbert.
Gilbert
'Cos I'm Gilbert. Because nobody hurts Arnie, right? Okay. Wanna pick out some candy?
Amy
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Gilbert
What do you want?
Amy
We've got to keep a closer eye on him.
Gilbert
What?
Amy
We've gotta do better. Are you listening to me?
Arnie
Mine.
Amy
And you. . .
Arnie
Huh?
Amy
You have to stay here. You stay right on this porch. You don't go anywhere. Don't go anywhere.
Arnie
Don't go anywhere. We're not going anywhere, Gilbert. We're not going anywhere, you know. We're not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere.
We're not going. . . we're not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere! Gilbert's not going anywhere. We're not
going anywhere! We're not going anywhere. Where you going?
Mr Carver
Hey! I'm waiting. . . waiting for that call, Gilbert.
Becky
Hey! Hi, Gilbert. Oh, look, come here.
Gilbert
What?
Becky
It's a praying mantis.
Gilbert
Oh.
Becky
You know how they mate? The male will sneak up on the female and she'll bite off his head and the rest of his body'll keep on mating. And then when
they're done. . . she'll eat him. She'll eat the rest of him. Grandma, we have company. So do you wanna eat?
Grandma
Help yourself.
Gilbert
Oh, thank you. Wow.
Grandma
Well, we missed the rally in Des Moines. If we get on the road by Friday, we'll make Colorado Springs in time to catch them. Have you ever been to
Colorado?
Gilbert
No, ma'am.
Grandma
Ah. It must be wonderful.
Gilbert
It must be incredibly frustrating then, to be stuck here in this place - in Endora.
Becky
This place is as good a place as any.
Grandma
Think so? Well, she should know. Becky's been just about everywhere there is to go. Places I didn't even know existed.
Becky
I'm a worldly kind of girl.
Grandma
Me, I spent most of my whole life in the same spot. Why doesn't matter. Anyway she encouraged me to get out.
Becky
And now she can't stay put anywhere.
Grandma
She's the smartest, most beautiful girl in the world. Isn't she? Isn't she beautiful? Isn't she beautiful?
Becky
I'm sorry. She has this thing with beauty that. . .
Gilbert
Oh, yeah, I noticed that.
Becky
I'm not into that, that whole external beauty thing, you know. 'Cos it. . . it doesn't last.
Gilbert
Right.
Becky
Your. . . you know, eventually your face is gonna get wrinkly and you'll get gray hair.
Gilbert
Sure.
Becky
Your boobs might sag. You know. So what? It's what you do that really matters.
Gilbert
Mm-hm.
Becky
Right?
Gilbert
Yeah, sure.
Becky
So what do you wanna do?
Gilbert
Oh, I, I don't know. There's not so much to do here really.
Becky
Oh, you can think of one thing. Think of one thing that people do here.
Gilbert
Um. . .
Becky
Thank you. It was nice meeting you.
Gilbert
Be nice.
Becky
Hello.
Bobby & Tucker
Hi.
Becky
Can I have yours and I'll give you mine instead?
Todd Carver
No. No, he wants a big one.
Mrs Carver
You know something? The one on top of it is fine. That's, that's what. . .
Todd Carver
No, we want the big one.
Doug Carver
We want the big one.
Gilbert
Let's go.
Todd Carver
Come on, get us the big one. Come on, Mom, please.
Ellen
Here you go, guys.
Mrs Carver
I. . .
Doug Carver
We want the big one.
Mrs Carver
Yeah, that's fine.
Becky
Oh, it's changing. That's what's wild about the sunset. It'll just. . . change really, really slowly in front of your eyes. I love the sky.
Gilbert
Hm.
Becky
It's so. . . limitless.
Gilbert
It is big. It's very big.
Becky
Big doesn't even sum it up, right? That, that word 'big' is so small. You'd have to get those really giant words to describe the sky.
Gilbert
Oh, um. . .
Becky
What?
Gilbert
I have to go do this thing, it's kind of a family thing. Do you want me to give you a ride back, into town or do you wanna. . . ?
Becky
No, actually, I'm just gonna sit here.
Gilbert
I could come back. I mean, I can, I can come back then.
Becky
Really?
Gilbert
Yeah. Will you. . . You'll be here, okay?
Becky
Yeah.
Gilbert
All right.
Becky
I'll just sit here.
Gilbert
All right, I'll be, I'll be back in a little bit.
Becky
Okay.
Gilbert
Okay.
Arnie
Gilbert!
Gilbert
Hey, buddy, come on, gotta go. Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
Arnie
Where's the duck?
Gilbert
There's the duck.
Arnie
I can't see the duck anywhere. Find him. Look, look, where's the duck?
Gilbert
Where's the duck?
Arnie
It's hiding.
Gilbert
Hm?
Arnie
Find the duck.
Gilbert
Arnie, I don't have time for this. Lift up. Okay, good.
Arnie
Duckie.
Gilbert
Good boy. You know what? You're such a big boy.
Arnie
Yeah.
Gilbert
You're such a big boy.
Arnie
I'm a big boy.
Gilbert
Well, you know what? I bet you could do this all by yourself if you really wanted to.
Arnie
Mm-hm.
Gilbert
Could you do this by yourself?
Arnie
I'm a big boy.
Gilbert
Yeah, be a big boy.
Arnie
Big boy.
Gilbert
Take this.
Arnie
Take this.
Gilbert
Wash everything. Your towels are there.
Arnie
Okay.
Gilbert
And your robe is there.
Arnie
Okay.
Gilbert
Okay.
Arnie
The big boy's gonna wash himself.
Gilbert
Right, okay, I gotta go.
Arnie
Okay.
Gilbert
Gotta go.
Becky
You missed it.
Gilbert
What'd I miss?
Becky
The sunset.
Gilbert
Really?
Becky
It was beautiful.
Gilbert
Oh. Oh, well.
Becky
I'd like to see where you live.
Gilbert
No, you wouldn't.
Becky
Let's go see where you live. Come on. My parents split up when I was a kid. I go back and forth between them. 'Cos they're always moving.
Gilbert
Mm.
Becky
But it's good. It's my life.
Gilbert
Yeah. We don't really move. I mean, we'd like to but. . . my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached is, I guess, not the right word.
She's pretty much wedged in.
Becky
What do you mean?
Gilbert
That's it. That's the house. It's really amazing. I mean, how small it looks from here considering the. . . the girth of what's inside of it.
I don't know. Did you ever see a beached whale. . . on the television?
Becky
Yeah.
Gilbert
Yeah. That's her. That's my mom.
Becky
What about your dad?
Gilbert
Uh. . . some other day. Some other day. I had a nice time, tonight.
Becky
I know. Good night.
Gilbert
Night. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, Arnie, come on. I'm sorry, buddy. Come on. Um. . . here, here. You're okay, you're okay. You're okay. You're okay,
buddy. Come on, get warm. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Momma
Would somebody please explain?
Ellen
Gilbert's in charge of bathing.
Arnie
I could've drowned. I could've drownded! No more baths.
Momma
But you didn't, honey. You could've, but you didn't.
Arnie
No more baths, Momma.
Momma
Is it too much to ask to see this boy turn eighteen?
Gilbert
No.
Amy
It's ready!
Momma
Where's your head lately, Gilbert? Where is your head? Gilbert.
Gilbert
Sorry, Momma.
Momma
Well, sorry isn't good enough. We've gotta do better.
Arnie
We'v